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- Jul 9, 2013
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Hi,
My 11 year old DSH Simon passed away at 1:30 am on August 14, 2013. I knew he was declining, and knew he would not make it through the summer, but going from how he was on the morning of August 13th until his death has blown me away. He had a tumor on his spine. It spread to his lungs in what seems like one or two days. He went into labored breathing the evening of August 13th and when he started paddling and rolling his head (like he was watching the ceiling fan spin in circles), I rushed him to the evening vet to be put down immediately. I kept telling him to go with the angels, but everyone says he didn't want to leave me and kept fighting to stay. I sat and sobbed with him after he died for over 2 hours.
I have lost pets before, but he was different. We were connected on a different level. Our souls were the same. He was my joy, he was my smile, he was always there when I needed him to be. My Simon.
I miss him more than the word "miss" can be defined. I "see" him all around my condo in the places he "should have" been hanging out today, yesterday, etc. What I would give for just one more hug, purr, snuggle, or to see his beautiful face again.
I have no words for this grief. It is pure torture, and my tears come and go in bursts. I am happy when I look at old pictures of him, or find one I have not seen in a while, but when I lay down on the couch or in my room, he's not in his spot. He isn't there to look over at me to stare, then blink and purr with love. He isn't there to hop up on his favorite blanket I like to lay with that he enjoys "pawing/kneeding" on. He isn't there to hop up on my bed at night and lay against my leg, or walk up onto me in the morning to say hi. He isn't there to drink from the faucet in the morning (he was obsessed with faucets), then poke his head into the shower for a kiss.
I have two other cats who I love dearly. I am making sure to give them their attention. But do you know what is like feeding 3 cats everyday for years, and suddenly there are only two meowing and looking up at you for their dinner? One pair of amazing green eyes are missing. My one tabby waits for him to come to dinner like he always did, and looks for him. I know "they know" what happened.
I want to know how did others handle their grief? What helped you? Please share how you got through your grief. I basically slept and did not leave my house for two days. I did not speak to anyone except my boyfriend who was grieving with me by my side. I really needed to be alone and grieve. Today was my first day out since 1:30 am on 8/14. My acupuncturist did a treatment with needles on my stomach to help my sadness.
Please share your coping methods, if you have any. I loved him so much. 11 years was not even time with him. He was my heart song.
I will love and miss you forever, my Simon.
My 11 year old DSH Simon passed away at 1:30 am on August 14, 2013. I knew he was declining, and knew he would not make it through the summer, but going from how he was on the morning of August 13th until his death has blown me away. He had a tumor on his spine. It spread to his lungs in what seems like one or two days. He went into labored breathing the evening of August 13th and when he started paddling and rolling his head (like he was watching the ceiling fan spin in circles), I rushed him to the evening vet to be put down immediately. I kept telling him to go with the angels, but everyone says he didn't want to leave me and kept fighting to stay. I sat and sobbed with him after he died for over 2 hours.
I have lost pets before, but he was different. We were connected on a different level. Our souls were the same. He was my joy, he was my smile, he was always there when I needed him to be. My Simon.
I miss him more than the word "miss" can be defined. I "see" him all around my condo in the places he "should have" been hanging out today, yesterday, etc. What I would give for just one more hug, purr, snuggle, or to see his beautiful face again.
I have no words for this grief. It is pure torture, and my tears come and go in bursts. I am happy when I look at old pictures of him, or find one I have not seen in a while, but when I lay down on the couch or in my room, he's not in his spot. He isn't there to look over at me to stare, then blink and purr with love. He isn't there to hop up on his favorite blanket I like to lay with that he enjoys "pawing/kneeding" on. He isn't there to hop up on my bed at night and lay against my leg, or walk up onto me in the morning to say hi. He isn't there to drink from the faucet in the morning (he was obsessed with faucets), then poke his head into the shower for a kiss.
I have two other cats who I love dearly. I am making sure to give them their attention. But do you know what is like feeding 3 cats everyday for years, and suddenly there are only two meowing and looking up at you for their dinner? One pair of amazing green eyes are missing. My one tabby waits for him to come to dinner like he always did, and looks for him. I know "they know" what happened.
I want to know how did others handle their grief? What helped you? Please share how you got through your grief. I basically slept and did not leave my house for two days. I did not speak to anyone except my boyfriend who was grieving with me by my side. I really needed to be alone and grieve. Today was my first day out since 1:30 am on 8/14. My acupuncturist did a treatment with needles on my stomach to help my sadness.
Please share your coping methods, if you have any. I loved him so much. 11 years was not even time with him. He was my heart song.
I will love and miss you forever, my Simon.