How much do you work with ferals??

[nsav8]

To refresh, I trapped a kitten and in the trap was a one-year-old male feral.  Took him to vet clinic for neuter and shots, then took him home.  He bit me, so he went to my vet's for some therapy to make him less feral.  After about a month, I took him home.  He was throwing up everyday.  Got in a fight with my vet (who insisted I was overfeeding him).  Called another vet for an opinion.  She asked me to bring in stool sample.  It turns out my vet had never dewormed him...and the feral had lung worms.  Gave him meds, and he is no longer throwing up.  He still, however, lives in my closet.  Rarely comes out or plays with the kitten.  I don't like to pet him b/c he still nips at me, and I am afraid of him.  

I was talking to a very experienced cat rescue lady, who said I MUST handle him more, or he will never improve.  She says he is picking up on my fear, and will end up a neurotic cat.  I told her I'm still afraid to pet him a lot or pick him up, and she said after the first of the year, she would maybe take him from me and work with him and then find him a new home.  She is excellent with cats.  The only problem is that her rescue goes to a Petco in a rural area, and I don't think they get the best adopters there.  I actually told her that, and she disagreed with me.  I do respect her a lot, but she can only do so much with the clientele she has.

I am torn about this.  The feral seems unhappy, but what do I know?  I'm not crazy about him living in a closet all day, but I am also afraid he will never get a good home.  I'm not sure this cat rescue woman can help him anymore than I have...but maybe she can?  He comes out of the closet at dinner time, only to rub my legs.  I'll pet him a few times, but that's it.  I'm not sure he has joy in life.  He rarely plays with the kitten, rarely leaves the closet.  But it has been about 3 months since I caught him.

It seems there are two separate groups of feral cat people:  those who think you handle the cat as much as you can, and those who say you let the cat determine his own timeline.  

I'm so torn on what to do for this guy.

 

[shadowsrescue]

In many of the threads you have started you have been given excellent advice.  Working with ferals is a very slow process.  It's often one step forward and one step back.  It takes lots and lots of patience.  I am not a firm believer in pushing a cat too far as that will cause the cat to react, often aggressively. 

I would however close off the closet and any other hiding spots that you cannot get to him.  Don't allow him under a bed or behind other furniture.  Do make sure that you have given him a safe place to hide.  Does he have a cat tree where he can sit and look out a window?  That would be a nice option. 

Just make sure that you visit as often as possible.  Each time you visit bring a yummy treat and toss it his way.  Make the treat something extra special such as chicken or turkey or tuna.  He will associate you with something yummy.  You need to do this over and over and over.  As many times as you can each day.

When you visit, sit on the floor and talk softly.  Do not loom over him. 

Try to get him interested in a toy.  Have you tried a shoe string dangling or even hidden under a blanket and pulled slowly out.  Does he like catnip?

I would be sure his environment is safe and also has a few activities for him.  Does he have some toys that he could play with when it's night time?  How about toy mice?

Did you ever try the pet petter?  If you can get close to him, the pet petter is a great start.  It too can be used as a toy and then you can gently try to touch him with it.  It takes time though.  You cannot just try it a few times and decide he doesn't like it or is afraid.  When working with ferals you have to do the same activity over and over and over again.  Even the smallest baby step is progress. 

Have you bought any Feliway diffusers to help him in his room?

 

[nsav8]

Thank you for the advice.  I do have toys in his room, as he shares the room with the kitten and the kitten plays with the toys, but never the feral.  He seems totally uninterested in toys or catip.  He rarely plays with the kitten.  Someone on this forum told me to get him "Da Bird" toy, and that is the only toy that he seems even slightly interested in.  Once in a while, he will make a little half-hearted attempt to touch the feathers.  I see his little arm reach out from the closet, lol.

He does have a cat tree in the room, but he is rarely ever on it.  I also have Feliway in the room.  He really spends most of his time in his plush bed inside the closet.  I can reach in to pet him in the closet, but I never do.  I will only pet him when he comes out of the closet and rubs up against my legs.  Then, I put my hand in a fist and let him rub against my fist.

I just wonder if someone else can do better with him.  I really don't know what I'm doing, and as I said earlier, I am a little afraid of him biting me again.  The first bite was pretty bad.

I did have a woman who runs a sanctuary say she will take him for a significant donation to her organization.  But her sanctuary is for unadoptable dogs and cats, and I wonder how much time she can even spend with him, and not sure he should be around dogs at all.  I'm sure she keeps them separated.  Maybe I was turned off by the large donation ($1000) I would have to make?  I think she is legitimate, but that is a lot of money for me.  My boyfriend would have to kick in at least half.

 

[wingwalker]

I think you should make a decision... either to commit to socializing him (and be aware that it could be a long time) or maybe you want to consider to return him where he came from. Another alternative would be to find a farm where he could be a barn cat.

Does he enjoy being petted? Does he ever purr? Do you think he wants to be left alone? Is he scared of you?