Your kitty pictures (felons) are adorable!!! ROTFL!
As for claw clipping, it's really pretty simple. Most cats have white or clear nails, and you can see where the "pink" begins. Just don't cut into that pink area--that's what will bleed.
Claws grow in a downward curve, so only clip off the "hook" at the end and usually you'll be safe. Take off the tiny tip at the end, and this will also prompt the "quick" pink portion to draw up somewhat. So, by clipping a tiny bit at the end of each nail once every few days, you'll eventually get the nails to a good length.
Also -- there is NO RULE that says you must cut all the claws at one time. Do one toe on Monday, the next on Tuesday, and so on. By the end of two weeks, you can start over. *s*
And the cat won't be as frazzled being held down for a total pedicure.