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Rocket lets me pet her, but brushing is too scary and nail trimming wouldn't happen. Flea medicine is usually sneakily applied while sleeping and I have to plan a good 30 minutes to catch her for the vet. But she is indoor/outdoor so the nails aren't an issue (she likes scratching rocks). She sheds like crazy in the spring so she gets extra petting before coming in and I get fluff covered. It works.
I workwd really hard with her over the course of 7 months to go from crate, to indvidual room, to multiple rooms, to house, and finally outside. Each step I constantly said her name and would reduce her space again if she wasn't coming when called. The crate really was an asset in the first month or so because it taught her that I wasn't evil and a source of good things without really allowing her to hide. I almost wish I had used to longer to get her more comfortable with holding. But I think that is a total lack of control issue for her. She is probably my best at coming when called... unless she has a lizard. But they are used to coming in at night so usually just before dusk they are waiting to come in.
I should mention that a routine is really important with under or unsocialized cats. What timw you wake, get home, feed, play etc. It all really helps them feel secure and adapt.
I missed the mark on the crate training, but have been trying really hard to keep a feeding schedule with her, however, my husband is a sucker for Millie when she wants to eat - even getting up at 2 am and feeding her when she goes and begs (unbeknownst to me and at my utter dismay ). Oh well, I guess I will just have to do the best I can to work with her as much as possible.