How do you mentally handle your cat being difficult with eating?

[louisstools]

For those of you that have a difficult cat with eating, how do you manage? Do you just say "screw it" and the cat eats or starves depending on what it wants that day? Regardless of the consequences? Or give them X number of days of difficulty before it's a vet visit? Or do you try and coax them into eating?

I ask this b/c, as has been well documented here, I've been struggling to get my girl to eat for over a year and it just wears me out. Some days are borderline tolerable. Not good, not acceptable, but tolerable b/c she is cooperating and eating w/o much fuss. But most days are a fight and honestly the companionship is not worth the effort. But she gave me 9 good years before this "mid life crisis" of hers and she's family so we've got to find a way through this. I can honestly say if she was a new cat to me she would have gone back or something at this point but we have 9 years together so here we.

Just curious how some of you handle the mental toll of a difficult cat around feeding or potentially some other behavior.

 

[NekoM]

Eating is fundamental to living and when a cat has made up its mind not to eat its a serious situation. I went through it with one of mine who had CKD I had so many different foods, snacks and bowls all over the house and he would just stare at it. It’s emotional beyond words, particularly when you feel out of options and you don’t know what to do next. It’s mentally exhausting, mainly because it’s frustration, anger, worry and some blame wrapped up in a ball and thrown continuously at your head.
End of the day though, your taking care of her in a way that no one else could and that’s why she’s with you.

 

[verna davies]

I've gone through it too, its distressing to us but you cant give up trying. Have you tried sprinkling a little Fortiflora on top of the food, warming the food, crushing treats on top or feeding by hand. Hopefully once she starts eating she may continue. I wish you good luck and hope she eats so you can relax a little.

 

[ArtNJ]

I dont know the whole story. I think its different with a younger cat that is just being picky. I mostly ignore that, generally with success. With an older cat that may be losing appetite/sense of smell, more effort/accomodation is needed.

 

[louisstools]

I've gone through it too, its distressing to us but you cant give up trying. Have you tried sprinkling a little Fortiflora on top of the food, warming the food, crushing treats on top or feeding by hand. Hopefully once she starts eating she may continue. I wish you good luck and hope she eats so you can relax a little.

Yeah I've tried everything that I can to make it enticing. Play before meals helps the most. But an average day is 15 feedings and she doesn't always want to play.

 

[Alldara]

I struggled a lot with this. It's really triggering to me to begin with (my sister was a picky eater when she first lived with me).

Magnus I finally learned to just air-lift (carry) him to the food and then walk away. He had digestive issues due to allergies and he acts out sometimes still. (Usually if I don't WFH that day) Also feeding less frequently and sticking to a schedule was SO HARD but in the end was best for his eating.

Letting go a bit of whether or not he ate helped. But I think it depends on the situation. That might not be right for someone who's cat has a medical condition and needs support.

With my older cat, I did my best to give her what she would eat. Now that I know more, I think she was dying and needed less food because of that. I've learned a lot about how the body responds when it's dying.

 

[Kflowers]

I'm sure you take your cat in for regular vet exams, but you've got a cat with an extra way to high if something's wrong. With this one you can't look for inappetite to judge for illnesses, which means safety lies in frequent vet visits for exams to be sure nothing new has come up that's interfering with eating on a new level.

 

[louisstools]

I'm sure you take your cat in for regular vet exams, but you've got a cat with an extra way to high if something's wrong. With this one you can't look for inappetite to judge for illnesses, which means safety lies in frequent vet visits for exams to be sure nothing new has come up that's interfering with eating on a new level.

That's a great point, yeah I really have to watch her behavior. And yeah we do see the vet a lot. Last year ~14 trips (all for not eating). So far this year 3 (all for not eating). Minimum vet wants to see her is twice for bloodwork b/c of the issues around not eating.

 

[louisstools]

I struggled a lot with this. It's really triggering to me to begin with (my sister was a picky eater when she first lived with me).

Magnus I finally learned to just air-lift (carry) him to the food and then walk away. He had digestive issues due to allergies and he acts out sometimes still. (Usually if I don't WFH that day) Also feeding less frequently and sticking to a schedule was SO HARD but in the end was best for his eating.

Letting go a bit of whether or not he ate helped. But I think it depends on the situation. That might not be right for someone who's cat has a medical condition and needs support.

With my older cat, I did my best to give her what she would eat. Now that I know more, I think she was dying and needed less food because of that. I've learned a lot about how the body responds when it's dying.

Yeah, I remember your telling me about Magnus on another post of mine. It is a struggle. Enough that while I will do my absolute best to care for my girl and love her I know I'm done with pets when she's passed. It's just not worth it when they're difficult like this.

 

[Alldara]

Yeah, I remember your telling me about Magnus on another post of mine. It is a struggle. Enough that while I will do my absolute best to care for my girl and love her I know I'm done with pets when she's passed. It's just not worth it when they're difficult like this.

Follow your feelings on that for sure!

Pets are definitely a mandatory part of my life. I don't relax well even when visiting a home without any!

It's always hard because you never know how things might change, or if you are truthfully getting a healthy pet on adoption/purchase. Sometimes the place legitimately doesn't know and sometimes they hide things.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Feeby is a lot older than your cat (18+ yo) and she has multiple health conditions which likely have a bearing on her terrible eating habits. So, some days are a bigger struggle to get her to eat than others. She has a repertoire of at least 2-3 dozen different foods I alternate with - and the results of whether or not she eats them vary tremendously.

Because of this, I chart what she eats and the calories she consumes, so I know how low or how high her daily calories are. I started out supplementing her cat food, on her poor days, with baby food meat (Gerber Stage 2 or Beechnut) - which, so far, she has never rejected (knock on wood) to ensure her calorie intake was appropriate. I even bought EZ Complete to add to the baby food meat in order to make it nutritionally complete (it works with all but chicken, which the combo makes the calcium level too high). As of now, I am pretty much giving her baby food meat daily so as not to constantly worry about whether or not she is eating enough.

This routine has enabled me to keep her weight up, eliminates some of the stress for me, and is not a big deal to handle. She is also taking an appetite stimulant, which does help a bit - and anti-nausea meds, as a precaution.

Keeping up with routine vet visits/exams, including blood work and urinalyses, so you know if anything is brewing is also a very good idea on you and your vet's part.

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

It is a struggle. Enough that while I will do my absolute best to care for my girl and love her I know I'm done with pets when she's passed. It's just not worth it when they're difficult like this.

I feel your pain. One of my boys is like this, and has been all his life. He will be 14 next week. Even as a kitten I had to hand feed him or he simply would not eat. His brother (one day older) on the other hand, became overweight because he chowed down on double servings if I wasn't constantly watching over them, which was impossible since they did have kibble 24/7 as kittens.

It is a constant struggle and as the years have passed I've gotten a little more "less concerned" because he goes to the Vet twice a year with blood word and always passes with flying colors. And amazingly, his weight stays fairly constant. I can't figure out how, but it does.

With my guy, I used to offer him one thing, and if he refused, I'd offer him something else, or put a topper on, or both, etc.. Now I offer him one thing and if he doesn't eat, I put it up and cover it with foil and serve it again at the next meal. I've kind of gotten tough. I DO offer him a treat before the meal to try to get his appetite started. Sometimes that works, sometimes he doesn't even want the treat . If he STILL doesn't eat, I toss it down the drain and that's it. On those days I do usually break protocol and serve him a meal in the early evening even though next regular meal isn't until late evening. Sometimes he will deem to eat a little bit of it, sometimes not. If not, I put foil on top of it and serve it again for dinner. At dinner (which is a 10:30 pm) he always gets freeze dried salmon as an appetizer AND topper. This he has never not eaten, but it doesn't mean he'll finish his food. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But I don't want to use the freeze dried salmon any other time because I don't want him to stop liking it.

I'm with you though, it's been so draining that I'm not sure I want to go through it again with another cat. I love this guy so much that I'm just hoping he'll live another 14 years and then I'll be too old to have another pet anyway!

 

[verna davies]

Just a thought, have you tried feeding him on different dishes. One of mine will only eat off paper plates, worth a try?

 

[louisstools]

Just a thought, have you tried feeding him on different dishes. One of mine will only eat off paper plates, worth a try?

Yeah, we've tried just about everything. She just doesn't seem interested in eating very often. She'll eat but if there's like a butterfly a mile away that's enough to distract her.

 

[FeebysOwner]

She'll eat but if there's like a butterfly a mile away that's enough to distract her.

Feeby will look up and stop eating if someone walks through the room, or if she hears something going anywhere around her. I sometimes have to sit with her to get her to eat, coaxing her all the way. She probably doesn't really want to eat, because she will look up at me, and then if I tell her she needs to keep eating she will - for a bit anyway.

 

[louisstools]

My hat is off to you FeebysOwner and mrsgreenjeens for your dedication to your kitties. I do greatly appreciate the details you've provided as it helps me know that I'm not the only one with a difficult situation with feeding.

At least right now I don't have your level of dedication in me. It just consumes so much of my day. Yesterday I recorded 20 feeding trips. Those were just the trips where I managed to get her to eat at least one bite of food. There were a few trips where she would not eat regardless of the coaxing. For reference I was only awake 17 hours that day and she ate 2.0 ounces, by scale weight, of food. A "good" eating day is ~13 trips to get her calories (though 4 come in rapid burst in the AM) and again I'm awake for ~17 hours. I could probably do 3 trips a day indefinitely but she's yet to show any interest in food to justify that as a remote possibility.

She saw the vet today and is getting exploratory diagnosis done to try and rule out everything medical before we start to look at behavioral. So far I'm down $666 (an omen?). x-rays showed nothing. urinalysis and bloodwork will be available tomorrow (late appointment and lab was slammed). Hopefully we get answers so we can have a plan. I can only push off work commitments so many times and in a terrible technology economy I need to be extra careful. I need my girl to be making progress towards something easier and more sustainable on me so I can have a life or at a minimum retain my job given how tech layoffs are "in season."