How Do I Teach My Cats To Snuggle With Me?

[drmroth]

I have two cats - Dusty is 2 years old and Coco is 9 months old. Neither one likes to be held, they don't care for the traditional petting on the neck, head, back etc (although they both like to expose their bellies so I can rub it) and neither come to sit/sleep with me or on me. It makes me sad... I want them to be a little mushy with me. They're very playful with each other - they play, fight, and clean one another which I'm very happy about but I want some love too. Is there a way to make it happen?

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• drmroth
• Feb 19, 2017

 

[chuukichi]

You can try rubbing some catnip on you? They like that.
The scent of your clothes may be a factor as well. Cats have sensitive noses, so strong smells might turn them away.
Have you had them for a long time? Because if not, maybe they need to get to know you more.

 

[mizzely]

My 7 year old Lydia didn't start getting cuddly until about 2 years ago.

That is to say, yours are still pretty young and they might still settle down. Too much to do right now, though!

 

[elliesvictim]

My 18 month old female was a feral kitten when I found her. It took her sometime to understand hands and touching and patting.
One of the things that helped was she really seemed to respond to grooming while patting her. So as I would pat her if I felt something in her fur or something clumping her fur or sometimes a flea, I would forage around or break it up with my fingers. She would purr almost immediately.
So when patting give them a scratch and a groom and see how you go.

 

[rubysmama]

My Ruby doesn't like to be picked up either, but she will sleep in my lap. She prefers it, though, when I have my throw on my lap, so maybe try enticing them with something soft they can snuggle into. Or put a small box down near you. It's rare a cat that won't squeeze into a cardboard box.

Maybe try playing with them more. Especially when one's awake and the other is asleep or in another room, if that ever happens. They look like best buds in your picture, so I'm guessing they're rarely apart.

There's always treats. Find their favourite treat and entice them to come to you and rub around your legs and purr and beg for a yummy reward.

They are still young, especially the 9 month old, so they may still discover they like hanging out with you, once they get a bit older.

You do have one thing to be very thankful for, and that is that they like each other. It would be worse for you if they were fighting all the time.

Hopefully you will get more suggestions. Good luck.

 

[LTS3]

Some cats just aren't the cuddly and affectionate type. It's just their personality. You can't force a cat to do something you want. Doing so might even work the other way: the cats become afraid of you. So just let he cats be themselves. Maybe one days they'll decide to be a little more affectionate.

 

[daisyd]

Yeah gracie isn't effectionate however now and again she will come and lay on your legs or sleep next to you which seems extra special than if she did it all of the time . I pick her up a lot although it annoys her ! She boxes me when i put her back down

 

[drmroth]

The 2 year old (black one) didn't have a mother and was bottle fed. The only time her purrs is when he suckles on my ear, which he still does every so often, but other than that never purrs. He's also scared of noises and people and will run and hide easily. He no longer plays with me but runs, chases, and plays with his "real life" toy.

The little girl will purr if you start to pet her and she's also sensitive to what I'm feeling. If I'm upset she will come and rub up against me - she's much more intuitive. She plays constantly. I have 3 cat towers that she jumps and swings from when I take one of her teasers and run it across the trees. She follows me everywhere. She always meows at me to play with her more... so cute. It may be that she's just still too young to sit or lie with me.

I guess I'm making it sound worse than it is. They do come to me for treats, they follow me into different rooms (especially the bathroom for some reason) and they come when I call them. I guess I was just hoping they would sit with me on the couch so I could pet them and we could sit together - Maybe one day.

 

[daisyd]

They are so sweet ! Are they always together ?

 

[drmroth]

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• drmroth
• Dec 16, 2016

DaisyD

They are so sweet ! Are they always together ?

Thank you! They are so sweet together. They're not always together... but very often. It's so funny to watch them - I really lucked out when I introduced them to each other. I did a slow introduction where they were kept apart until I could no longer keep them from meeting. It only took a week. Since then - they chase each other, clean each other, often sleep together ... they love each other

Your little one is so cute. Love the scarf

 

[daisyd]

Can't wait to get a bigger place so I can get another pet - we only live in a one bed flat. I suspect cause they have each other they feel they don't need to lie on you etc .. Thank you. Gracie has tons of pretty collers however she doesn't let me put them on her so not sure why I bother. She wears them when we have guests round !

 

[cocobutterfly]

It took our Coco over a year to lay down next to me for an extended amount of time. She still hates being picked up. Some cats are just that way, and I've accepted that she'll never like being picked up. Or maybe until she's too tired to walk up and down the stairs, then she'll let me pick her up. Doesn't mean she's any less lovable because she's the sweetest, most attentive, loving, docile cat. Some cats are snugglers, some like a little physical distance, some just want a little rub on the face. Some don't. Most cats I've had, including current cats, hate belly rubs. Everyone's different and has different preferences, I just let them be.

 

[piano cat]

Some just are more cuddly than others. You could try bribery like I did with a few. Pick up for a very short cuddle before giving something they like, such as a play or their regular meal. Mine eventually tolerated cuddles and longer ones but never would sit with me for hours like the ones who like cuddles on their own.

Belly rubs, LOL, I have two now who like them. I was telling our Vet how the new stray would throw himself on his back for me to rub his tummy. The Vet looked at me funny and I knew immediately she was thinking I was misreading the cat. "No, no" I said, "NOt on his back with his claws ready and a Make MY DAY attitude as in the movie. He never grabs me bites and rakes, he just likes tummy rubs."

 

[surya]

I do know, the more attention you give them, the more you will get back. So really focus on giving them extra attention every day and see what happens. Maybe giving them some treats at the end of their petting time would help?

 

[golondrina]

I am amazed to read about some cats difficulty to snuggle with, but then my only experience is with my cat Cucumella. I adopted her 5 and a half years ago when she was 9 years old. She follows constantly me all over the place and the moment I sit down she jumps on my lap. She sits on my desk when I am busy writing, she sits on a chair next to me when I sit at the table to eat, she snuggles against me in bed all through the night after having initiated her night kneading on my tummy. She wakes me up in the morning licking my forehead and purring and the moment I turn on my back she lies on my chest full length purring away. She rubs her head against me as I'm trying to get up and offers her chin to be rubbed. Sometimes it gets too much. She is 14 and a half years old. I wonder if this need for attention has to do with getting older?

 

[drmroth]

I am amazed to read about some cats difficulty to snuggle with, but then my only experience is with my cat Cucumella. I adopted her 5 and a half years ago when she was 9 years old. She follows constantly me all over the place and the moment I sit down she jumps on my lap. She sits on my desk when I am busy writing, she sits on a chair next to me when I sit at the table to eat, she snuggles against me in bed all through the night after having initiated her night kneading on my tummy. She wakes me up in the morning licking my forehead and purring and the moment I turn on my back she lies on my chest full length purring away. She rubs her head against me as I'm trying to get up and offers her chin to be rubbed. Sometimes it gets too much. She is 14 and a half years old. I wonder if this need for attention has to do with getting older?

Aww... you're very lucky. I've had seven cats over many years and only one slept in my arms in the spoon position and liked to sit on my lap while watching tv. Sometimes I wonder if cats takes on their owners personality.

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• drmroth
• Dec 18, 2016

 

[elliesvictim]

Don't try and force it or they'll view it as punishment.
Try fostering a friends or a shelters cat that's affectionate. Cats can be jealous and territorial. Maybe another cat rubbing and cuddling "their" owner may make them jealous and want to mark you with neck rubs.
My cat rubs and marks me every time she sees me talking to another human or looking at another cat. It hilarious.

 

[golondrina]

I doubt a cat can be trained to be affectionate. It seems to be in their nature like in people.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Can't wait to get a bigger place so I can get another pet - we only live in a one bed flat. I suspect cause they have each other they feel they don't need to lie on you etc .. Thank you. Gracie has tons of pretty collers however she doesn't let me put them on her so not sure why I bother. She wears them when we have guests round !

She likes to show off for company

 

[maggiedemi]

My childhood cat Mally was like Cucumella, he couldn't pass by a lap without jumping on it. I miss him so much. Throughout the years, some of our cats were lap cats, and some weren't. I don't know if you can change it. We had one little black & white cat when I was a kid who was afraid of us his entire life. We never could figure out why. He was born in our house, not feral at all.