How do I know when they're ready?

[SirenSong]

Hey. As I've moved (slowly) through this, latest reintroduction I've seen incredible improvement in the way my two bengals interact with each other. They have gotten to a point where, when I play with Journey (the "resident" cat and also, generally, the troublemaker) Belle actually joins in (in her low key, low energy kind of way). If I play with Da'bird and run Journey from one side of the house to the other, inevitably, Belle follows us around and occasionally zooms too. I got them a "Cat's Meow" and they were actually BOTH playing with it at the same time at one point the other day.

A couple days ago, I opened my front door when I got home from work and said hello to the cat, as I always do ... when suddenly, the other cat appeared! I have been keeping them separate using a screen that's propped up in the doorway with some heavy items. I thought it was pretty secure ... but I guess not. So, who knows how long they were out together while I was away at work! I thoroughly searched the house and there was no sign of fighting ... no tufts of fur or anything ... and both cats seemed happy to greet me at the door and acted normal. Belle wasn't scared or avoiding Journey.

Things still aren't perfect 100% of the time when I'm around and Journey still has a habit of wanting to crowd Belle if I'm not around to tell her to back off, but I have noticed that Belle has gotten better at standing up for herself and Journey has gotten better at respecting Belle's boundaries. I know that there is going to be a certain amount of stuff that they will have to sort out between themselves, but how do I know if they're ready for me to start leaving them out together when I'm not home?

The other day, I left them both out while I was home and, when I went to check on them the first time, they were just both peacefully laying on their own cat trees looking out the window. About an hour later, I heard Belle hiss and when I went to check things out, Journey had jumped onto Belle's cat tree and was just sitting there ... I don't think any "attack" was intended but Belle doesn't appreciate Journey being on "her" tree. And Journey still occasionally thinks "chase and pounce" is a fun game to play with Belle. Belle still disagrees.

I know I've been heavily micro-managing their interactions in an effort to keep things positive and, at some point, I'll need to back off to see if this co-existence can become balanced and peaceful, even if it's not always "perfect" but how can I keep things from going sideways if I'm not home? I am so concerned that we are going to end up back at square one where Belle is terrified just to exist and Journey is an insufferable bully. I don't want to go back to Belle feeling like she has no space to live. What do you think? Is it time to start leaving them out together? Maybe not all day while I'm at work, but for a few hours if I'm just running errands in the evening or something? ... Is there more work for me to do?

 

[ArtNJ]

Sounds like they are basically ready now. An occasional hiss is nothing. Cats quite often have to do some work on their own when the humans have done what they can. Maybe as a final test wait till the weekend and let them interact on their own constantly when you are home (you know, assuming you are generally around). You can't make them behave in an ideal fashion towards each other any more than you could make human 7 year olds behave perfectly. There will be some bumps in the road.

Unless they actually fight, things aren't likely to reverse course. Weird stuff happens now and then, and even two longtime friend cats can suddenly get hostile, so its not like there is ever zero risk, but if you are pretty sure they won't fight, they are ready. Just take the weekend and satisfy yourself that they aren't likely to get in a real cat fight and let them work out the rest.

 

[rubysmama]

I agree that things sound like they're going really well. Hissing/growling is just a cat's way of communicating. It's when there's fur flying or blood, or one cat seems scared or stressed or not eating that you need to be concerned.

There will be play fighting as well, which is hard to distinguish from real fighting if you aren't familiar with cat body language. Here's a TCS article Are My Cats Fighting Or Playing? | TheCatSite that has pictures and videos to help tell the difference.

How old are the cats? Do you have pics of them you can share?

 

[Talien]

A good rule of thumb for Cat interactions is this, "No fur, no blood, no problem." Hissing and growling is normal, it's establishing boundaries, you only have to really worry if they get into actual fights that result in missing fur or cuts. If that happens then yes, separate them immediately. Otherwise it's usually best to just let them work things out for themselves.

 

[SirenSong]

I guess I'm just hyper vigilant because they have a history of getting into a fair amount of fur-flying, scab-leaving fights. They are doing SO well now and have been getting along really great compared to what they used to be like but ... I am really worried I will come home one day to scratched noses and ears and Belle being so scared, she rarely comes off her tower again. I know I'm being overbearing but I just really want it to go well this time ... It's been almost a year since I brought Belle home and this is the best they've ever been. I'm scared of messing up, now that we've come so far... but you're right. I need to let them get to their "normal", cohabiting the home as is intended.

A ArtNJ I think I will take your suggestion and wait for the weekend. I should be home a fair amount and I can be there to leave them out and see if we have anything other than normal hiss/growl behaviour and from there... I guess it's sink or swim!

The one thing I'm most concerned about is that Journey sometimes still stalks Belle when she's using the litterbox. I think I will make one out of a large rubbermaid like I've seen here BETTER LITTER BOX -- CATS ADORED. The high sides should offer lots of protection.

 

[ArtNJ]

Well, I don't know if you are being hyper vigilant or not. A history of scab-leaving fights is something that wasn't in your original post (unless I missed it) and would make me err on the side of caution too! My guess is that you have good instincts on this and will do it right. If you want more accurate advice, we should get the full history. But in general, it sounds like you are thinking about it right. It will never get totally risk free, at some point you'll need to do a trial, and it does sound like they may be ready for it.

 

[SirenSong]

A ArtNJ - I've posted a couple times about my cats so I'll post links to my other threads so you can get up to speed on the "saga"

Two Bengals Hate Each Other ...

Cat Reintroduction

Tips and Tricks for Managing High Prey Drive

 

[rubysmama]

I wasn't aware of the "scab-leaving" fights either, so that certainly explains your concerns. Have you considered getting a baby monitor or webcam so you can see how they act when you're not around.

Also, about the litter box stalking? How many litter boxes do you have? Are they in different locations in the home?

 

[SirenSong]

I have 3 and yes, they're in different locations. One in the dining room, one in my spare bedroom and one in my main bedroom. Doesn't change anything. They both want to use this one specific box that is identical to the other box ... the third box is a little smaller than the others but has the same litter in it. I'm going to upsize that one with one of those "Better Litter Boxes". Journey is truly a right B. She tries to claim EVERYTHING that is Belle's. Her food bowl ... her cat tree ... her cat bed ... the litter box she likes ... She's just a nightmare. I should add that my vet and I have been over and over my setup to see if there's a competition for anything that could be causing this. There's not. I have enough of everything. I have lots of vertical space. I have lots of litter boxes and cat beds and toys. I took Journey to a behaviourist who literally diagnosed Journey as just being a B-word. There is NO reason for her behaviour other than she just is this way.

I love Journey, I do, but last night was brutal. I decided it was time to leave them out overnight ... big mistake. They both fell asleep on the bed with me. Middle of the night, I'm woken up to cat claws literally in my hand and face because Journey sneak attacked Belle while she was sleeping. Belle jumped and, as she jumped, she had her claws out so she (completely inadvertently) scratched my face and hand in her attempt to run away.

I know you're not supposed to get mad but I was livid. There was no warning. There was no reason. Journey is just impossible.

Granted, there is some history on this as well that has reinforced that this behaviour is ok ... This is a stunt Journey was pulling back at the old house with the ex and the ex is a moron and would just let her do that, then Belle would be too scared to come back, but Journey would come back and have us to herself. So ... she faced literally no consequences for this behaviour before, and it got her the desired result, so why wouldn't she do it now? The ex was always "we can't lock Journey out! That's too mean!" ... ugh. Now I'm left to deal with the behavioural issue it created.

This time, I locked Journey out out of the room immediately and brought Belle back in to sleep with me the rest of the night. If Journey wants to be a rotten brat and get me all cut up in the middle of the night, she can sleep by herself indefinitely then. Until she decides to be civil, she can sleep alone. I have a feeling I will need to do this multiple times though so I guess I will need to have some rough nights until she realizes that she can't just sneak attack Belle in the middle of the night and get her to go away and, instead, it just means Journey gets put out of the room for the night.

This is the second night in a row Journey has kept me up at ungodly hours and I'm exhausted ...

 

[SirenSong]

Quick update ...

After that one night of waking up to a surprise cat-attack and I kicked Journey (the brown one) out of the room, things have been better. This is all three of us cuddling on the couch last night.

I didn't let Journey into the room the night following the surprise attack night, then, the night after, I tried letting them both in again. Journey was SUPER tense and not acting right ... deadly staring at Belle (the white one) so I just put Journey outside the room and let Belle sleep with me again. The night after, I left the door open. Belle came to bed. Journey was stand-offish and didn't want to come to bed but halfway through the night, I woke up to her cautiously jumping up to join us. She settled and all was well the rest of the night.

The last couple of nights have been good. They're both still a little cautious but last night all three of us went to bed at the same time and all slept through the night. No sneak attacks. Journey was calm. I still separated them before I went to work this morning but I think the more time we spend relaxing together and sleeping together, the better I will feel about leaving them together during the day.

Journey's territorial problems definitely get worse when she has not had a solid play session so I am going to need to be very vigilant about making sure she gets to run around but I do think I'm over the worst of things now and we're all sorting things out.

 

[rubysmama]

That's a pretty paws-itive update.
Love their markings.