Housemate is disciplining my kitten without asking me first?

[punkyoungirl]

Hi there!
But of a strange one but here we go.

we got a new kitten last month and we all love him in our own little ways.
I work full time so when my little ball of energy wakes me up in the night it can really affect my work. My partner is self employed and doesn’t have work often but is a heavy sleeper and doesn’t wake up to distract the kitten. So my house mate (let’s call her B) offers to take him into her room some nights.

whilst I am extremely grateful for B’s help looking after my little guy, she came to me the other day brandishing a spray bottle saying I should invest in one of them because it has changed his behaviour. I was immediately dumbfounded that all I could muster was “I think that’s a bit too corporal”

my boyfriend is happy to let her use the spray bottle, which has put me at a bit of a disadvantage because it’s his kitten too and he’s essentially given B the go ahead to spray my cat with a water bottle. Being an avid watcher of My Cat From Hell and also having a degree in feline behaviour and psychology I feel that this does more harm than good and I’m a bit upset nobody has spoken to me.

what do I do here? I’m obviously upset that my 4 month old kitten is being punished for being a baby. Apparently she only sprays him when he’s doing something she’s not happy with E.G clawing her bed etc. But I would prefer she use the technique of gently lift him away from the thing you don’t want him to do and redirect his attention and praise him for the good behaviour.

what’s your guys thoughts on spray bottles? I personally think it’s archaic. What do I do in this situation?

 

[ArtNJ]

Folks are against it 5 to 1 here I'd say. Personally, its something we have used in the past. It doesn't work especially well. IF the spray bottle is RIGHT WHERE YOU NEED IT then its about as effective as a loud "no!" perhaps a tad more effective, meaning it is still something that won't work on some cats. If, however, one has to run and get the spray bottle, I think the message gets muddied in the cat's mind and a good linkage between the conduct and the spray is impossible. If its useful for anything, its like a single area where you can leave the spray bottle there, like the stove area. All in all, a loud "no!" or clapping your hands loudly is just more immediate and I think a better overall training tool, but I might consider bringing the squirt bottle back if there was a single area that was absolutely critical to defend (say a cat that was way too curious about the stove).

While I agree with the majority here that the effectiveness isn't really worth fussing with, I do disagree that squirting a well bonded cat poses any risk of messing with the bond or alienating the cat. It doesn't, in my experience. However, I wouldn't squirt a cat that isn't well bonded. Also, with *any* negative reinforcement technique, one does have to be aware that there can be unexpected consequences. For example, years ago, I thought I was training our first kittens not to go on the bed when we were sleeping. In reality, they learned to never go on the bed, even during the day when invited. And certainly some folks have had unpleasant but necessary things like medication giving interfere with a bond with a skittish or not well bonded cat. So I do think that there is some truth in the majorities' concern -- i.e. squirting a not-well bonded cat could be a problem. Of course, I think that is probably true of any negative reinforcement technique.

Hopefully, this practical assessment is helpful to you.

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. And congrats on the new kitten. Sorry, though, that he's causing friction between his humans.

A ArtNJ is right, that most here, do not condone using a spray bottle to discipline a cat. In fact, TCS even has an article on the subject: 5 Reasons To Never Spray Water On Your Cat [Or otherwise punish them] – TheCatSite Articles

Cats, of course, can't be allowed to just do whatever they please, so TCS also has an article on How To Set Healthy Boundaries For Your Cat – TheCatSite Articles which might be helpful.

Good luck. Hope you and your partner and house mate can come to an agreement on the best way to "raise" your kitten.

 

[SteveJohn]

Personally wouldn’t let anyone take my cat in their room with them, housemate or not.

 

[She's a witch]

Effectiveness aside, I think it’s utterly disrespectful, as any other form of physical punishment

 

[Talien]

All she's doing is teaching your Kitten that she is a jerk that sprays him with water. It's not an effective tool for changing behavior, all punishment does with Cats is make them resent the one who is punishing them. I have never once had a Cat that punishment has worked for changing a behavior, but I have certainly noticed them avoiding whoever it was that kept punishing them.

 

[Sylvia Jones]

I would sit down and have a house meeting If there are disagreements of any kind with people that live together you need to get them out in the open Also it’s not a majority rule situation You are uncomfortable with the treatment of the kitten Let everyone have their say but... ask because of your strong feelings that they try the alternative techniques to resolve any unwanted behaviors that you suggested ( which are very good by the way) State that it would mean a lot to you if they would take your feeling into consideration Good luck

 

[moxiewild]

Folks are against it 5 to 1 here I'd say. Personally, its something we have used in the past. It doesn't work especially well. IF the spray bottle is RIGHT WHERE YOU NEED IT then its about as effective as a loud "no!" perhaps a tad more effective, meaning it is still something that won't work on some cats. If, however, one has to run and get the spray bottle, I think the message gets muddied in the cat's mind and a good linkage between the conduct and the spray is impossible. If its useful for anything, its like a single area where you can leave the spray bottle there, like the stove area. All in all, a loud "no!" or clapping your hands loudly is just more immediate and I think a better overall training tool, but I might consider bringing the squirt bottle back if there was a single area that was absolutely critical to defend (say a cat that was way too curious about the stove).

While I agree with the majority here that the effectiveness isn't really worth fussing with, I do disagree that squirting a well bonded cat poses any risk of messing with the bond or alienating the cat. It doesn't, in my experience. However, I wouldn't squirt a cat that isn't well bonded. Also, with *any* negative reinforcement technique, one does have to be aware that there can be unexpected consequences. For example, years ago, I thought I was training our first kittens not to go on the bed when we were sleeping. In reality, they learned to never go on the bed, even during the day when invited. And certainly some folks have had unpleasant but necessary things like medication giving interfere with a bond with a skittish or not well bonded cat. So I do think that there is some truth in the majorities' concern -- i.e. squirting a not-well bonded cat could be a problem. Of course, I think that is probably true of any negative reinforcement technique.

Hopefully, this practical assessment is helpful to you.

I wouldn’t phrase it as not well-bonded. Plenty of cats are well-bonded but have anxious personalities or prior trauma.

It has nothing to do with the strength of the bond prior to spraying, and everything to do with the spraying itself, and cat’s personality.

Most well socialized cats are going to take it in stride (so long as there is only assertive commands - not aggressive, scary yelling or gestures - that accompany it).

We don’t use punishment or spraying water as a training tool, but we have cats here that we know are unaffected by being sprayed and actually react as though we’re playing with them and become all hyper if we do it. It’s because they are extremely well socialized and highly confident cats.

Other cats are indifferent to being sprayed now and then, but I can guarantee it would get to them over time.

And the most anxious and insecure cats are the most at risk for being negatively impacted, even if they are very well bonded to the person spraying.

No matter the cat’s disposition however, it’s simply a poor training tool.

 

[moxiewild]

Hi there!
But of a strange one but here we go.

we got a new kitten last month and we all love him in our own little ways.
I work full time so when my little ball of energy wakes me up in the night it can really affect my work. My partner is self employed and doesn’t have work often but is a heavy sleeper and doesn’t wake up to distract the kitten. So my house mate (let’s call her B) offers to take him into her room some nights.

whilst I am extremely grateful for B’s help looking after my little guy, she came to me the other day brandishing a spray bottle saying I should invest in one of them because it has changed his behaviour. I was immediately dumbfounded that all I could muster was “I think that’s a bit too corporal”

my boyfriend is happy to let her use the spray bottle, which has put me at a bit of a disadvantage because it’s his kitten too and he’s essentially given B the go ahead to spray my cat with a water bottle. Being an avid watcher of My Cat From Hell and also having a degree in feline behaviour and psychology I feel that this does more harm than good and I’m a bit upset nobody has spoken to me.

what do I do here? I’m obviously upset that my 4 month old kitten is being punished for being a baby. Apparently she only sprays him when he’s doing something she’s not happy with E.G clawing her bed etc. But I would prefer she use the technique of gently lift him away from the thing you don’t want him to do and redirect his attention and praise him for the good behaviour.

what’s your guys thoughts on spray bottles? I personally think it’s archaic. What do I do in this situation?

I would set boundaries. “Don’t spray my cat.”

On days the kitten would normally sleep with her, can you instead keep the kitten in a large crate or in a bathroom?