I don't know what to do. He wants to take her back tomorrow. I talked him out of taking her back yesterday, but today was the last straw.
I'm crying right now. I'm so mad at him!!!!!!
it really doesn't sound like she's aggressive at all. but she hasn't learned that when she wants to play she CAN'T bite. I don't know, I think that consistent NOing when she plays and keeping sure that you ONLY play with her with toys not your hands and she could change her behavior drastically in one to two weeks. can you ask for that time?Originally Posted by Libby'sMom
He doesn't want to put her to sleep, but the vet has to tell future prospective owners that she's aggressive. They're afraid that's going to make her unadoptable. If she's not put to sleep, she's gonna spend a lot of time behind bars.
Libby is almost 13 months old. She is spayed. And I don't play with her with my hands at all. I use the wands only. She doesn't like any other toys but the wands. My husband says he's going to give her one more chance, so I'm hoping that we can work something out.Originally Posted by Renovia
it really doesn't sound like she's aggressive at all. but she hasn't learned that when she wants to play she CAN'T bite. I don't know, I think that consistent NOing when she plays and keeping sure that you ONLY play with her with toys not your hands and she could change her behavior drastically in one to two weeks. can you ask for that time?
how old is she? is she spayed? are you playing with her with your hands at ALL?
It seems to me that your DH is absolutely clueless as to what is involved with keeping a kitten/cat as a pet not just their behaviour but everything.Originally Posted by Libby'sMom
Libby is almost 13 months old. She is spayed. And I don't play with her with my hands at all. I use the wands only. She doesn't like any other toys but the wands. My husband says he's going to give her one more chance, so I'm hoping that we can work something out.
The problem is my husband, he's a big guy and when he says no the way he postures his body is almost nonverbally saying "wanna make something of it" kind of. I did witness one foot incident. She went up to him and tried to bite him on his leg, he said "NO", she looked at him, went at it again and he said "NO" and told her to stop, but he's looking at her. I suggested that even though he's trying to say no he's staring at her and that is a sign of aggression. I told him to just say no and turn away from her, even if he's on the bed, just say "NO" and then change positions on the bed and ignore her.
He tells me no cat is going to make him turn away in his own house. He's very stubborn. The thing is HE wanted a cat in the first place, I wasn't too sure if I did or not. Now he's talking about he wants a kitten because they'll be good. I don't think he has a clue about cat behavior, but he's the type to never admit it. He just think the cat automatically is a lap cat or calm.
I have tons of books on cats, because when I take on something or a project I like to know as much as possible about whatever it is I'm doing. I have "Cat's for Dummies", "Think Like a Cat", "Cat whisperer", "When you have an out of control cat" (This title I'm not sure of, I have to go and look), but I have quite a few books. It's just hard to convince my husband that this is not going to be easy at first.
What is this "he gave me 5 minutes" thing? It sounds like your husband is taking too much control in this situation. Libby belongs to both of you, right? It should be a decision made by both of you whether or not to keep her, not solely his.Originally Posted by Libby'sMom
He doesn't want to put her to sleep, but the vet has to tell future prospective owners that she's aggressive. They're afraid that's going to make her unadoptable. If she's not put to sleep, she's gonna spend a lot of time behind bars.
Oh and last night at around 12 I woke up to her biting all the way up my arm. I woke up and saw her and said "NO" and turned and went to sleep the other way with my body under the covers. She stayed on the bed but didn't do it anymore. She also tried to bite on my leg this morning. It has to be because she wants to play or wants attention from us. My husband doesn't see it that way. But last night I told him that if we get another cat, a kitten, they are still going to bite and scratch, and he was like no they're not.
I swear he's been spoiled by our best friends cats. She has 4 and 1 is a lap cat (he's old, and has health problems), one likes to sit on your lap and be petted, but the other two are standoffish. They don't bite or scratch unless you try to pick them up. He doesn't understand that Lib's is like that and she's only been here for just two weeks. Before she came here she was living outside, and she had a dog for a companion.
He gave me 5 minutes to plead my case and for now Libby stays with us.
This is their home and their decision. Everyone is different and has different views. We are only here to be supportive and give advice.Originally Posted by Abstract
What is this "he gave me 5 minutes" thing? It sounds like your husband is taking too much control in this situation. Libby belongs to both of you, right? It should be a decision made by both of you whether or not to keep her, not solely his.
I know that's not the topic, sorry, but it bugs me when people do that sort of thing.
Libby'sMom;1901359 said:He tells me no cat is going to make him turn away in his own house. He's very stubborn. The thing is HE wanted a cat in the first place, I wasn't too sure if I did or not. Now he's talking about he wants a kitten because they'll be good. I don't think he has a clue about cat behavior, but he's the type to never admit it. He just think the cat automatically is a lap cat or calm.
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I have a kitten who is going to 4 months old in August, and everyone always asks me what happened to my legs and arms when i wear shorts and t-shirts, i just say "my kitten". I think kittens are worse because they have WAY more energy than cats. He needs to realize that. They want to play a lot more and dont have the understanding yet that your hands or legs or feet arent play toys. They just think of you as a friend to play with. I have had my kitten since she was 8 weeks old and i dont play with her with my hands at all and she still bites and claws sometimes. its going to happen no matter if you have a kitten or a cat. Those behaviors are learned, and he just has to keep telling her no and ignoring her and eventually she will get the hint. He has to give it time, it doesnt happen overnight.
I wish you the best of luck with this sittuation. It is hard when you are attached. Good luck vibes