Helping cat through VACATION trauma

[julia123123]

We adopted an elderly cat 2 1/2 years ago from a shelter, no ideas about her past life. It was pretty rough going...she randomly bit me...hard...for 1 1/2 years before finally calming down. She didn't start becoming affectionate until about 6 months ago but now she's a real lover and sleeps with me nightly.

My husband and I both work from home, so she's used to having us around all the time. We haven't done much traveling at all but want to start again, a little. We went away for Christmas to visit family recently. I thought a lot about what do to with the cats (we also have a bonded brother pair, 18 months old). We've had cats for YEARS and every time we have traveled, we leave them at home with tons of food, water, and extra litter boxes. We had a traumatic incident when a cat sitter accidentally closed one of our cats into a separate room with no food/water and it was so awful, I never want to use one again. Plus, we live way out in the country, so not really close for anyone to just drop in.

This time, since we hadn't left these cats before, we bought cameras to stage all over the house and left a key with a friend in case we saw anything unusual. All doors propped open and secured with door stops. Everything seemed fine. Cats ate, slept, played. We were gone a total of 7 days.

We've been home for about a week, and I've noticed that while our boys are fine, our older girl is definitely upset. Her normal routine is to sleep all day upstairs on her heat mat, but she's been absolutely clinging to my side all day, every day. She's always in my lap and snuggling. I feel just awful that she was clearly so unhappy with us being gone for so long and am giving her as much affection as possible.

But looking forward...well, we want to travel from time to time. Never for more than a week and just a couple times a year. We thought she'd be traumatized by being boarded, as she came from a shelter and clearly didn't like that. She doesn't like people, so I didn't think that she'd benefit from someone stopping in to play with her. How can I make future travel easier for her, or will she just get used to it with time?

 

[ArtNJ]

Get a neighbor's kid that loves cats to come over and play with the cat for 15 minutes once or twice a day. We hired a professional cat sitter once too, and she was super nice and had a clearly cat-experienced vibe that let her bond quickly with the cats.

I don't think its too big a deal that your cat missed the heck out of you and is clingy, that happens to us for shorter periods of clinginess, but I do feel like a cat sitter can help.

No one to change litter boxes can go really really badly too, depending on the cats in question, the setup, and random luck factors.

 

[Kris107]

You said, per the cameras, everything seemed fine while you were gone. So likely, it was. Your kitty just sounds like she really missed your affection and interaction. Cats who have "stranger danger" usually hide when a sitter come over, but then that leaves them starved for attention. She's just trying to catch up on her lovies and attention now that you're back.

 

[julia123123]

Get a neighbor's kid that loves cats to come over and play with the cat for 15 minutes once or twice a day. We hired a professional cat sitter once too, and she was super nice and had a clearly cat-experienced vibe that let her bond quickly with the cats.

I don't think its too big a deal that your cat missed the heck out of you and is clingy, that happens to us for shorter periods of clinginess, but I do feel like a cat sitter can help.

No one to change litter boxes can go really really badly too, depending on the cats in question, the setup, and random luck factors.

I wish we could! The fact is, we live 25 minutes from any friend. No kids in our neighborhood. We really like our elderly neighbors, but they have mobility issues. Coupled with the fact that our cat HATES other people and just hides when they come around! We always have a ton of litter boxes and so far, no issues...fingers crossed!

 

[julia123123]

You said, per the cameras, everything seemed fine while you were gone. So likely, it was. Your kitty just sounds like she really missed your affection and interaction. Cats who have "stranger danger" usually hide when a sitter come over, but then that leaves them starved for attention. She's just trying to catch up on her lovies and attention now that you're back.

I just had to cause her any further trauma. The only thing we know about her "former life" was that her owner died and she was surrendered to the local shelter. She didn't get adopted, so they sent her to ours. She'd been bounced around for over a month. It took her years to trust us. I just wish there was a way to lessen her stress when we're out of town! I guess for now, we're settling for giving her tons of attention. Right now, she's taking her usual nap...but curled up in our sheets, NOT in her normal place. She's so sweet!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi
I think that with the videos showing she was ok while you were gone this time, she'll become more accustomed as you leave --and return.

Something you might consider is a comfort "toy" that is wrapped in a worn unwashed T-shirt of yours, for her to snuggle with. Try it out before you leave so she's familiar with it, as I've read that not every cat is comfortable with it. But, the heartbeat sounds and purrs might be just the thing to help her.

Amazon.com

Also try intermittent Cat Music. There's RelaxMyCat, MusicForCats, classical harp music, harp music written for cats, and music with purrs in it, and videos with just purring.

I would reconsider a professional cat sitter, who is provided a list of expectations. As you mentioned, she likely won't be much interested in interacting, but having the litter boxes cleaned regularly will help reduce the smell especially of the urine fumes. You don't want to run even the slightest risk that one of the cats decides s/he isn't happy about the litterbox situation and chooses another location to do its business.

Plus, since she's up there in years, you need someone who can handle things if she (or one of the others) becomes ill while you're away. Asking a friend to manage a frightened cat is more than I'd personally be comfortable with, --for both the person as well as the cat, even if you leave a set of goggles and rose gloves or something similar for protection from claws and teeth.

 

[Kris107]

she'll become more accustomed as you leave --and return.

100% to this! The first trip away might be a bit harder - suitcases in and out, house quiet, stranger coming in... But I think they do learn that you WILL come back and things will go back to normal. Even for humans, change is hard sometimes. But once you get used to it, it's less and less of a big deal. Maybe she found some nice new places to nap while you were out.

 

[Alldara]

You might find a student from a nearby town who could come house-sit and stay at your home should you be comfortable with that. They might enjoy a couple days in the quiet country.

I'm not sure where you are located but we have some boarding facilities here that are much better than little boxes. One they have some outdoor access as well and those that use it swear by it.

 

[julia123123]

100% to this! The first trip away might be a bit harder - suitcases in and out, house quiet, stranger coming in... But I think they do learn that you WILL come back and things will go back to normal. Even for humans, change is hard sometimes. But once you get used to it, it's less and less of a big deal. Maybe she found some nice new places to nap while you were out.

I hope so! We're planning a few day trips this spring and a long weekend, hopefully she'll get used to things.

 

[julia123123]

You might find a student from a nearby town who could come house-sit and stay at your home should you be comfortable with that. They might enjoy a couple days in the quiet country.

I'm not sure where you are located but we have some boarding facilities here that are much better than little boxes. One they have some outdoor access as well and those that use it swear by it.

Truthfully, I'm not crazy about a stranger coming into our house...I'd be more comfortable with someone I knew, and I do have someone that could stop by, it's just that our older cat always hides when other people come over. I'd thought about boarding, but our dog hates it so much, and cats are such creatures of habit that ours start screaming as soon as we get them in the car for vet visits! I'd always prefer to leave them at home if we can. We definitely can't find a place nearby for our 18 mo boys. They're a bonded pair and have been together since birth and we would want them to be in the same kennel housing...they sleep together. But all local kennels separate cats into separate housing...no two cats in the same place. I know the boys would be traumatized to be separated...one of them cries when the other is napping because he doesn't like to be "left alone" for even that short amount of time!

 

[julia123123]

Hi
I think that with the videos showing she was ok while you were gone this time, she'll become more accustomed as you leave --and return.

Something you might consider is a comfort "toy" that is wrapped in a worn unwashed T-shirt of yours, for her to snuggle with. Try it out before you leave so she's familiar with it, as I've read that not every cat is comfortable with it. But, the heartbeat sounds and purrs might be just the thing to help her.

Amazon.com

Also try intermittent Cat Music. There's RelaxMyCat, MusicForCats, classical harp music, harp music written for cats, and music with purrs in it, and videos with just purring.

I would reconsider a professional cat sitter, who is provided a list of expectations. As you mentioned, she likely won't be much interested in interacting, but having the litter boxes cleaned regularly will help reduce the smell especially of the urine fumes. You don't want to run even the slightest risk that one of the cats decides s/he isn't happy about the litterbox situation and chooses another location to do its business.

Plus, since she's up there in years, you need someone who can handle things if she (or one of the others) becomes ill while you're away. Asking a friend to manage a frightened cat is more than I'd personally be comfortable with, --for both the person as well as the cat, even if you leave a set of goggles and rose gloves or something similar for protection from claws and teeth.

Oh, those are great ideas! You're right about the litter boxes, too. We've never had a problem, but we definitely wouldn't WANT to have a problem. My "local" friend (well, 25 minutes away) has offered to stop in to do that!

 

[suh]

I had a cat that would stop eating for a day or two when I traveled. He's familiar with my parents whom I used to live with and there's not much else I could do. He got used to it with time after a few more trips. I agree with K Kris107 that they do learn that you will come back. The first time it happened, I was worried sick and couldn't enjoy my time. I was ready to fly back if he kept on refusing food, lol.

 

[julia123123]

I had a cat that would stop eating for a day or two when I traveled. He's familiar with my parents whom I used to live with and there's not much else I could do. He got used to it with time after a few more trips. I agree with K Kris107 that they do learn that you will come back. The first time it happened, I was worried sick and couldn't enjoy my time. I was ready to fly back if he kept on refusing food, lol.

Yes! I could see on the cameras that there was plenty of food/water but I never saw her eat. Of course, I was trying not to obsessively watch the cameras. When I got home, I saw that she'd barely eaten...but she started eating again, right away, normal amounts, and now she seems fine. I'm glad we're planning these mini trips, so that she'll get used to these little absences!