Help! We're stealing the neighbour's cat!!!

[blake1107]

A couple of months ago our neighbour went away and leased her house, together with her resident cat, to some friends of hers. While she was away the cat (Milly) kept turning up on our doorstep crying for hours and craving attention, and as we are cat lovers we duly obliged and gave it the run of our house - although we always put the cat out when we went to bed. At first we didn't feed Milly (not realising the neighbour was away) but once we heard she wasn't around we gave in to Milly's pleas and decided it was best to feed the cat in case the housesitters weren't.

When our neighbour returned she thanked us for looking after Milly, and we thought things would go back to normal. They haven't. Milly is constantly at our place in the day, and when we put her out at night she doesn't always go home, but rather sleeps outside our door. Our neighbour has tried locking Milly in for a couple of days at a time, but as soon as she's let out again she comes back over. We've also tried keeping our door locked, but she just sits their pawing at our window and crying, and we're not strong enough to resist.

We have stopped feeding her, and even go as far as carrying her back to her owner whenever she starts crying for food, but our neighbour has noticed that Milly isn't eating the food at her place, and we're now worried she's looking a bit thin. We are still giving her water though (it's summer here in Australia and very hot).

What can we do? We're caught in two minds - we love Milly and would hate not to see her, but at the same time she needs to realise where her real home is. Should we stop putting out water? Any other suggestions (hopefully except locking her out permanently - we'd hate that!).

Any advice would be really appreciated - thank you.

 

[yayi]

Do you give her the same food as the owner?

 

[otto]

It sounds as if you have been Chosen. Perhaps the neighbor would be willing to admit defeat and let Milly become your cat. The neighbor can go to the shelter and give another cat a home.

Welcome to the forum, please let us know how it goes.

 

[stephanietx]

Talk to the neighbor and share your concerns. Ask the neighbor if it would be okay for you to adopt Milly, letting the neighbor know that she could come visit her any time she wanted.

 

[feralvr]

Yes, I agree. Talk to your neighbor. Communication is the best way for all concerned. Especially Milly, as it sounds like she thinks she is yours anyway. Good luck and the neighbor's might just say, take her

 

[bellaandme]

Millie has all ready adopted you, she's just wanting you to realize that.

I would follow everyone's advice and ask your neighbor if you could have her.

 

[rosiemac]

Me being the soft touch that i am i would still feed her, especially if she's thin

but definitely leave her water

Sounds like Milly loves you and your house better than her own

 

[natalie_ca]

Originally Posted by blake1107

Any advice would be really appreciated - thank you.

Yes. Keep the cat. Who in their right minds leaves their cat outside or with people who couldn't care less, when they go away!!!!!

Milly has chosen you. You love her, so keep her as an indoor kitty. I'll be the neighbours don't even go looking for her if she doesn't go home.

 

[blake1107]

Thanks for the responses. We've spoken to the neighbour about our concerns - though never asked if we could have her! The thing is our neighbour has said she really misses Milly, and we feel pretty bad about the whole situation. I don't think the 'can we keep your cat' approach would go down very well. We're more worried about the neighbour taking out some kind of restraining order against us!!!

We did give Milly different food to whatever the neighbour had been feeding her, but we gave the remaining food we had left over to the neighbour when she got back - so she knows the brand etc. Milly is quite a fussy cat - when we bought the food originally she wouldn't touch it for a day or two, but then started to like it and I haven't seen her eat much else. She won't eat any scraps that we wave under her nose - this is a cat who doesn't like fresh salmon!

It's really trick as we love Milly and don't want her to go, but we don't want to get a reputation as cat-nappers!

 

[feralvr]

Oh you cat-nappers

. You are doing exactly what I would be doing. I don't understand this, if they miss her so much, why is Milly over at your house hungry and looking for love

? I would just keep feeding her if she comes around. How funny, I have never in my life heard of such wonderful neighbors such as yourselves

. You had to tell the people who own Milly what you have been feeding her. It's like a foster child who loves his foster parents more than his biological parents and wants to live forever with the foster's. Something is wrong with this picture?? HUH???

 

[my4llma]

I think this is Milly's way of telling you that she's adopted you.

 

[ldg]

I totally understand not wanting to be cat-nappers!

But in the end you have to do what's best for Milly. I'd put out food for her, quite frankly. If she's not eating at "her" home, you really don't have much choice.

I would have another chat with the neighbor, and tell you that you really didn't intentionlly cat-nap Milly - but between all of you, you have to do what's best for her! Others on the site have worked out "joint custody" of kitties, and maybe the neighbor wants to save another life by adopting a new kitty?

 

[natalie_ca]

I still say "keep the kitty!"

I may not be popular for saying this, but IMHO, a pet should not be outside roaming around in urban areas. There are so many dangers: busy streets, poisons, mean people who don't like animals and especially cats using their gardens as toilets etc. etc. etc. So because I believe that all pets in urban areas should be kept indoors, means that I also consider any cat I see outside as fair game to be adopted by me or me finding a nice home for the kitty where it will be kept inside.

Most of my cats have been strays, or what I consider to be strays. I kept my eye out for posters or advertisements in the local paper (free to advertise for "lost or found"), but I never went out of my way to seek out an owner.

 

[snkeptz]

I am in the same boat.  We have a cat that has adopted us as well.  My husband ran him off for months when he would come to our front door and cry.  Finally, I couldn't take it anymore because he looked so hungry and skinny.  We had just lost our dog and all I had was dog food.  So, I set out dog food and water for the poor thing.  I just kept coming back, so I finally bought cat food.  Then my husband finally broke down and let him in the house.  Four months later, we took him to the vet to get vaccines for the new puppy that was coming home and low and behold he was micro-chipped and belonged just a few houses down the street!!  Well, the vet contacted the owner and now the owner is saying that we are trying to take their cat.  The cat is very comfortable with us and obviously doesn't want to go back to where he came from.  We don't lock him in the house and he comes and goes as he pleases.  He could easily go across the street and down three houses, but he chooses not to.  The keep coming to our door and asking if we have seen the cat.  Well, I don't feel that it is my job to keep track of their cat and he is obviously way happier with us.  These people have two other cats as well and let them roam.  The way I look at it, he has roamed to our house.  We would love to adopt him and get him medical care, etc., but I am sure they won't allow that to happen.  The cat has gained weight and has no trouble staying put at our house.  I am so torn about what to do.  We love the cat and feel that we are a better fit for him.  His owner family is hardly home and has other cats that run this guy off.  We never wanted a cat....he definitely was persistent and chose us!  What to do???

 

[Primula]

I still say "keep the kitty!"

I may not be popular for saying this, but IMHO, a pet should not be outside roaming around in urban areas. There are so many dangers: busy streets, poisons, mean people who don't like animals and especially cats using their gardens as toilets etc. etc. etc. So because I believe that all pets in urban areas should be kept indoors, means that I also consider any cat I see outside as fair game to be adopted by me or me finding a nice home for the kitty where it will be kept inside.


Most of my cats have been strays, or what I consider to be strays. I kept my eye out for posters or advertisements in the local paper (free to advertise for "lost or found"), but I never went out of my way to seek out an owner.

Totally agree. I am the same way. Whenever a kitty has wandered into our backyard & wants to stay with us, we never search as to whether it is owned by someone. Our feeling is if the cat has chosen to live with us then it's "owner" does not deserve to have it back. Cats only go to good people.

 

[Primula]

I am in the same boat.  We have a cat that has adopted us as well.  My husband ran him off for months when he would come to our front door and cry.  Finally, I couldn't take it anymore because he looked so hungry and skinny.  We had just lost our dog and all I had was dog food.  So, I set out dog food and water for the poor thing.  I just kept coming back, so I finally bought cat food.  Then my husband finally broke down and let him in the house.  Four months later, we took him to the vet to get vaccines for the new puppy that was coming home and low and behold he was micro-chipped and belonged just a few houses down the street!!  Well, the vet contacted the owner and now the owner is saying that we are trying to take their cat.  The cat is very comfortable with us and obviously doesn't want to go back to where he came from.  We don't lock him in the house and he comes and goes as he pleases.  He could easily go across the street and down three houses, but he chooses not to.  The keep coming to our door and asking if we have seen the cat.  Well, I don't feel that it is my job to keep track of their cat and he is obviously way happier with us.  These people have two other cats as well and let them roam.  The way I look at it, he has roamed to our house.  We would love to adopt him and get him medical care, etc., but I am sure they won't allow that to happen.  The cat has gained weight and has no trouble staying put at our house.  I am so torn about what to do.  We love the cat and feel that we are a better fit for him.  His owner family is hardly home and has other cats that run this guy off.  We never wanted a cat....he definitely was persistent and chose us!  What to do???

What a dilemma. It would work if you keep him inside. Then those people would never know you have him. They don't deserve him. They shouldn't keep coming to your door either. They sound ghastly.

 

[snkeptz]

Actually, they are not bad people and their situation is just not the best for this particularly social cat.  

 

[margd]

I would offer to buy the cat from them.  Let them know that you know they are the actual owners and have every right to keep her, but that you've fallen in love with her (and vice versa.)    This cat clearly thinks you are her people and your house is her home.  Hard as it may be for the original owners to accept, it is really in the cat's best interest to be with you.   

 

[Primula]

Good idea. If you do that you will need a signed release from them.