Help! Kitty with intestinal lymphoma won't eat!

[iloveprincess]

I'm sorry for your loss, happybird. You make a really good point. I was just thinking yesterday (when Tigger was having a bad day) how I don't want to remember him sick. His personality has pretty much faded away, so it was such a blessing to see a glimpse of him back again today, even if only temporary. 

What has helped me is I've been taking a short video of him daily, talking about how he was that day. I watch and compare his progress, and I will use that to help make a decision, when it's time

 

[krashballz]

I'm sorry for your loss too, happybird. It's so hard, but you're right. I don't want my memories of the 14.5 incredible, life changing years that Krash gave me to be overshadowed by the last few weeks or days of him being really sick. I have decided I'm done with pills. I won't do it anymore. And regardless of what his oncologist says on Friday, I'm not doing another round of chemo. I think it's time to start preparing for what happens next. This doesn't mean I'm going to ignore the cancer and let him painfully pass away. But it means I'm going to make him the happiest cat in the land for as long as I can. That means no more meds, no more vet visits, no more strangers poking and prodding at him. He's done. I can't even see the same cat I knew 6 months ago. So I'll work with his vet to help him maintain as long as he can. Thank you for your post. It helps to hear others experiences.

 

[krashballz]

Sedation for a blood sample and in his condition? That's ridiculous. Did they try a blanket? I'm sorry Krash had his little nipple cut, too. 

I really really am sorry you are dealing with this. It's excruciating, I know. I was actually online last night researching prices for house calls (to euthanize my baby). He is doing well today, so I'm going to take that as a message to hold off. I actually was desperate enough to call a radio show last night about Tigger. They told me that if he isn't resisting his meds and injections, then he is telling me he has some fight left in him. Poor Krash seems to be going through so much. I'm going through the same thing. Feel free to message me if you need to talk. 

It is ridiculous! He's worse off now than he was when I took him in. That's not how hospitals should work, right?
I too was online looking up prices for in home euthanasia yesterday. I was crying the entire time. I looked at pet psychics, animal communicators...I even called one of my Wiccan friends to do a healing spell for him. I had said about a month ago that I had tried everything short of voodoo, well, now I can't say that.
It made me cry this morning when he put his little hands on my leg after I asked him if he was done trying. It made me feel better just to get some kind of response out of him. And in my heart, I don't feel like he was telling me it's over. I just feel like he's telling me it's too much now. So I'm gonna just give him what he wants and what he needs as much as I can and see what happens. Unfortunately, I have him on steroids which I can't just stop, so I've got to keep doing that for a little while longer. If he gets any worse than this, I'll be looking at the mobile vets again.
I wish you didn't have to go through this too. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
You can also message me if you need to talk. I'm usually doing this on my phone, and I haven't quite figured out how to do anything but read and reply lol. But absolutely hit me up if you need to! I'm always here.

 

[tinybash]

Our thought and prayers are with you. I've been in this position before and I know it is heart wrenching but you will know deep down that all your choices are the right ones ... and so will Krash. I hope he picks up for you and that you get some quality time together.

Loved ones are only loaned to us - they are never truly ours. Just remember the joy over the years outweighs the pain. X

 

[michellemurphy]

On May 1st I had to let go of my twelve year old boy Skippy. He had cancer, he was half his size, could barely lift his head to drink and could not eat solids anymore. He also had moved his bowels in days. He would still purr whenever we spoke to him. He let me carry him around, wash his little paws and face and give him all the live we could. It was the most agonizing decision I've ever made. He was taking a daily dose of prednisolone. He hated it. The worst part of all this, my oldest son has ADHD And some learning disabilities. It makes his everyday so hard at school. It affects him socially. This cat was his, or rather he belonged to this cat. It was so special. He still can't see his picture without crying
I know the hard place you are in, give love until the most loving thing to do is say goodbye. You have certainly tried your best.

 

[krashballz]

michellemurphy Thank you for your sympathies and reassurance. I'm so sorry for you and your family. You're absolutely right, it's one of the most painful things to go through. And just like your son, I don't expect that the effects it is having or will have on me will disappear anytime soon. It's taken over my whole life at this point, and he's going to leave a hole so big I don't know what will ever fill it.

 

[michellemurphy]

When we let Skippy go we were all done. I think he was tired to try anymore and I was terrified to leave my house and leave him alone. It had completely taken over my life and I knew that wasn't right. There was only love and pain left so my husband brought him to the vet after we all said our goodbyes. He died in husband's arms and purred until he stopped living. I miss him still and know that I always will. We adopted two cats from an animal shelter since then. We realized that we had so much love to give and we should give another cat a chance to have the great life that Skippy had with us. It made all us happy to help another couple kitties. But my son still misses that amazing bond he had with Skippy. Skippy used to sleep next to my belly when I was pregnant. Sounds silly but I think Skippy though Evan was his own little person. I hope when it's all over you can find some peace. You obviously love your cat very much.

 

[krashballz]

michellemurphy Oh, I do love him. More than anything or anyone in my life. It's never been uncommon for me to decline invitations to go do things because I'd rather hang out with my cat lol. Truth is, I'd rather be around him than most of the people I've ever met. My family & friends call me the crazy cat lady. Except instead of having 10 cats, I only have him. I can 100% understand the bond your son had with Skippy. When Krash goes, he'll be taking a huge part of me with him. I won't ever find the same connection I had with him in another cat.
I don't think it sounds silly at all to say that Skippy thought your son was his. They're every bit as parental and protective as humans are. I think that's sweet and says what kind of cat Skippy was
It sounds like (as hard as it is to actually say) that when it gets to that point, letting go is almost a relief.

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

I lost my soul cat last year

.  And as hard as it was, it WAS a relief in a way, because every day I worried about him, and every morning when I woke up I wondered how I would find him, and I constantly wondered how he was feeling and whether I was doing him any favors trying to keep him alive.  And when the Vet put that needle in his little arm on that fateful day, she barely touched him with it and he was gone...he was that close to the edge already.  Now here it is, 20months later, and I still talk to him and get teary eyed whenever I do, and love him every bit as much as always.  He was my very special boy.  But, I still had 3 others to help take my mind off of his loss, and I do admit, that helped immensely.  They can never take his place, but they have definitely wormed the way into my heart

. 

I'm telling you this to let you know it is ok to feel that way, probably very normal, although I don't know if most people will admit it or not.

Still hoping for a big turnaround for Krash though, that this is NOT his time

 

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

Just checking in.  Did you end up taking him in to his regular Vet or not...wasn't sure after your last update if you were going to take him or not

BTW, we were that way with our

Sven

.  When he was diagnosed with kidney disease, we said there was really no reason to have blood tests done every 3 months or so because, really, no matter what the results, we probably would not do much different. There was NO WAY we were going to give him a bunch of pills...he simply was not a cat we could do that with.  So...we treated his symptoms as they came up...overacidity with Pepcid A/C IF we could get him to take it in a treat, or eat the compounded formula in a teenie amount of cat food.  Same with Ranitudine.  But I never forced him, because I figured the stress was worse then anything else. 

I do admit that towards the end we did do sub-q's, but only because he was such a good boy and he tolerated them.  If he protested too much, then he didn't get them.  But we're firm believers in quality of life vs quantity...same for us humans. 

Anyway, hoping Krash is having a better day

  

 

[krashballz]

mrsgreenjeens Thank you for sharing that. I'm sure it's still painful to talk about. I love hearing stories of others' kitties whether they're still here or they've passed on. It's a very special relationship that I don't think we get with any other species.
Krash's vet visit went well today. We weren't there for much of anything except to see if she felt a need for antibiotics like the ER dr had suggested. He'd kind of perked up a bit since early this morning. He's talking more & did really well at the vet. They laugh because he never stops growling at them and they know he's all talk. They have to check his heart & respiration while I'm holding him cuz that's the only time he doesn't growl and they can actually hear it.
Long story short, they gave him sub q's, showed me how to do it at home, gave him a Cerenia injection and some clindamycin drops. I told them I'm done with pills and that I'm not doing chemo again because I don't think it's what he wants. They agreed.
She told me I seem to be very realistic about the situation, and that Krash couldn't have asked for anyone better to take care of him. She said they'd do everything they can to help until there's nothing else we can do to make him comfy. They said it's ok to keep mixing his pred into a syringe with chicken broth and not to be overly concerned if he's not getting every single drop of it (something I was worried about). So, looks like we'll just keep doing what I've been doing for a few days now. He seems to be making small improvements this way. He's definitely less stressed and that's my aim right now.

 

[krashballz]

Lol mrsgreenjeens , I was typing that post out as you posted asking if I took him to the vet. Thanks for caring so much about my special kitty. It warms my heart and makes me smile

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

I'm so glad he appears to be perking up.

Maybe the sedative is FINALLY out of his system

. 

Give Krash and hug and kiss for me

 

[goholistic]

Still thinking about you and Krash. Glad to hear he's seems to have perked up, even if only a little.

My heart goes out to you. Many thoughts and prayers for Krash to be comfortable and for you to be strong during all of this. I understand your hurt. It's crazy how much we love these critters, isn't it? 

 

[krashballz]

@mrsgreenjeens & @GoHolistic

It is crazy how much we love them. It's worth every second though.

Thank you both

 

[ldg]

It is worth every second. :heart2: Krash is a very lucky kitty to have you. :rub:

Holding you both close. :grphug2:

 

[krashballz]

@LDG

Thank you

 

[jcat]

It's good to hear he's perked up some - it sounds like he still has some good days ahead, even if he won't take his pills.

We went through that with Jamie. After a couple of years of heart meds, he stopped cooperating when the number had to be increased. The cardiologist said he'd go in a couple of days, but he surprised everybody by hanging in there for over a year. There were several crises, and my life seemed to revolve around him, but the worry was worthwhile because he did manage to enjoy his life most of the time that last year. He let me know when he could no longer put up a fight. Having people here at TCS who understood my hopes and fears helped tremendously.

My thoughts are with you and Krash.

 

[krashballz]

Thanks, jcat ! It sounds like Jamie was a little trooper! It really is helpful to have the people here on this website. The support and knowledge I've found here is immeasurable, and it means so much. Instead of checking my Facebook for updates on family & friends, now I come here first thing every day and check up on everyone and their fur babies

 

[denice]

I am glad he is feeling a little better.  He may very well rally and have some very good time ahead of him.  Give him lots of love and all the treats he wants.