Help! Just adopted an adult cat. and he bites!

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madamenordica

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ok, so the F & S order says 'up to 5 business days' so it could be here as early as Monday (which would be cool because I have Mondays off). I went wild with a bit of cash from my refi and aside from flea, ear mite & worm meds ordered a big Armarkat tree, a window seat and a 'hurricane' toy (2 balls in concentric circles with nip?). 

Tom is doing well! He is starting to relax more - you can tell by his play! It is difficult for a large cat to play indoors in a small area - my Bastien didn't even like to play in the living room (which is decent sized)



I am generally able to tell when he is about to try biting or grabbing and all I need to do is wag  my finger like at a child and say 'now you know better than that....' in a nice low serious voice and he gives it up right away. Of course, at this point I'm his only company, so it's be  nice to me, or be completely alone. He wants to be with the girls pretty badly - he chirps a lot when he is out in the kitchen and studio.

I'm not sure he's ever lived anywhere but in a shelter - he's only a year and 4 months old, and rescued from animal control in NC in April of this year. I have no idea where he was before that, but after that he was boarded in an animal hospital for a month, then shipped to Maine and lived in a big cat room. It could be he's only ever lived in cages and shelters, since he's only a year old, but who knows. open spaces tend to overwhelm him, however a couple of times when I've come in from outside he has expressed a big interest in out (he can't go there per contract).

Speak of the devil, he's chirping at me telling me it is play time :D catch you later! 
 

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It is so lovely to read these positive updates.  You have got to know his communications much more and he does sound much more relaxed now - I'm sure you are too.  
    
 
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It is so lovely to read these positive updates.  You have got to know his communications much more and he does sound much more relaxed now - I'm sure you are too.  
    
yes, except I was following one of the 'tricks' in the article on introducing cats - I used a throw and got him to lay on it so I could put it out for the other cats to sniff and instead of the result SHE got, I GOT THE THROW PEED ON by Onyx. She has not marked for so long - she will if there is a rug on the living room floor or clothes - oddly she doesn't mark upstairs, apparently upstairs is Jinny territory haha but the living room should be for everyone - I'm hoping that diffuser comes first and makes a huge difference....
 

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     Not such a positive reaction, but at least the diffuser is on its way.  I hope Onyx is settled as long as the throw with scent on is not near her again when she is in 'her territory'.
 

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My second cat, a female, was a biter.  I got her very, very young and she would bite the older cat in the tail, and me, she would charge at my hand and spit, hiss and bite.  I didn't know what to do, so I just put up with it.  As she was growing, the bites really started to hurt and I applied the "ouch" rule (a training trick used with dogs/puppies by trainers), also noticed that the older cat would give her a shake when she really laid it on thick and resist intervening (with all my willpower) as I saw he would not hurt her, but it was necessary to set boundaries.  After some time, the biting taper off.  I never reacted besides the ouch, and got her used to a little brushing every morning, just to physical contact, as she is not a cuddler.  So my comment is:  please, don't give up on yours!  It gets better, I promise!  (I sound like some self help lecturer), unfortunately, animals cannot tell us what is going on in their heads, but they register and get traumatized by events the same way we do and they manifest in ways they cannot control.

In order to protect your students, you could just put the cat in a separate place, take her gently, not as punishment, before lesson time and let him out afterwords (no treats), so he understands the seriousness but with no punishment and one day it will be fine.

Good luck!
 
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mservant

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Now that is what I call a cat tree!  
    I'm sure they will work out a space for each of them on there, it looks great and there are plenty of comfy, cozy hiding places on there that no one needs to get left out once they are used to it.  Azzy does look rather determined to stay on top there.
  Is that Onyx having a go at taking her place? 

I hope the gang let Tom swing about on the tree from time to time, it's plenty big enough for him to have a good stretch and kitty-gym work out.
 
 
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OK, Now he's decided that if a straight out bite isn't acceptable, he will wrap himself around my leg and play attack my leg with a nip to boot. I swear, it's almost like he's holding on to me for comfort, but doesn't quite know how to do it in an acceptable manner? It's just bizarre. If I speak his name sternly, he stops and looks up at me. I'm about to try the ouch thing. I was going to let him hang with me while I did jam, but then realized what could happen if he did that while I had hot jam in my hand. Yeah. He went back in his saferoom. I AM going to try keeping my girls in my room tonight & letting him explore the house on his OWN. If my girls will stay put without a problem, I will continue this type of swap for a while, because that way they will be sharing the downstairs and smells will cross even if he isn't upstairs - I can't feasibly make 3 cats stay in a 10x12 room all day - it's bad enough making one do that, even though I'm pretty sure that is his comfort zone. He wouldn't let me stay in there by  myself today to give lessons - he clawed at the door until I let him in. Then he laid down and listened to my student have her lesson. I think the girls felt a little cheated not getting to see her today 






Oh yes, and Jinny is using the tree occasionally - I plugged the diffuser in yesterday, and she has been down quite a bit more and seems more comfortable, even though I've had the windows open & the fans on.
 

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  Tom looks so happy and at home on that tree!   

The diffuser sounds like it could make a difference so looking forward to hearing how things go over the next couple of weeks as you try the night time change overs and with the diffuser in place.  Hope things go well.

Mouse would do the leg attack - and still does occasionally, when I stopped the arm biting and head attacks...  I had to seriously ignore him to he got bored.  He was obviously looking for a response as he would look up at me while he was wrapping round my foot or leg and bunny kicking....  
     I had to wear thick jeans and thick socks for a few weeks until he figured out he wasn't going top get me to play that way.
 
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Ok. NOW he has decided if a straight out bite isn't acceptable, he'll just wrap himself ar
 
  Tom looks so happy and at home on that tree!   

The diffuser sounds like it could make a difference so looking forward to hearing how things go over the next couple of weeks as you try the night time change overs and with the diffuser in place.  Hope things go well.

Mouse would do the leg attack - and still does occasionally, when I stopped the arm biting and head attacks...  I had to seriously ignore him to he got bored.  He was obviously looking for a response as he would look up at me while he was wrapping round my foot or leg and bunny kicking....  
     I had to wear thick jeans and thick socks for a few weeks until he figured out he wasn't going top get me to play that way.
YEAH! That is EXACTLY what Tom does! He'll do it and look at me for reaction! Of course, I'm sure it doesn't help that a. the net is basically my connection to the world and b. I've had 2 jobs this summer, so I'm up at 5:30 in the morning, doing morning feeding, off to job 1, home around 2, snack for them (leftovers that were refrigerated, which seems good in summer!) and lunch for me, a little playtime, then off to my evening job until around 8 or 9 then I hang with them and play/feed before bed. Jinny played on the tree last night and wasn't the least bit shy about coming down when Azzy was in the tree - that in itself tells me whatever is in that diffuser is worth it's weight in GOLD! When I came down to pee early a.m. Tom followed me into the bathroom and put his paws on my knees/underwear and looked at me as if to say, 'Dude, wassup?' He let me pet him with no attempts at biting! I think stress was a lot of the problem, perhaps and being in that room with the diffuser all night was good for him. I kind of wish I had a 2nd one for the other half of the house and one for upstairs - I just might go there! The girls were at odds last night to the point where Azzy & Onyx had Jinny cornered in the litterbox in my room. I will move it today, because clearly that is a bad place for it. Funny enough, although Tom seems to like the new tree just fine, he really really likes the smaller one the girls had used up to now that I moved back to his room - he goes crazy on it! I cut the excess stringy stuff from where they had clawed the rug part off and will wrap them in the rope stuff asap, but it's fine for now. He loves it. It's made a difference in there - I sprayed it down with calming spray & sprinkled with catnip when I moved it in - that seems to have helped. I think he is just plain settling in and I feel so bad that I can't let him into my room. He wants to be with the rest of us so badly, it's just ridiculously clear. I'm going to have to get someone to help me introduce them face to face soon. I think he is eager and the girls could use a bit more time.....Azzy in particular, since she thinks she is the dominant one of the bunch. I keep telling her he's just a baby and needs Momma Azzy, but she looks at that 12 pounds of Tom cat and doesn't believe me.....
 
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Sooo.....I'm playing with Tom with the laser this morning and he does the kitten thing where they turn sideways, ruff their tail and hop........omg.....12 pounds of kitten! LOL
 
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So I'm thinking today is going very well with Tom, then he flops over on his side next to me and grabs onto my leg with paws & teeth and actually got me with his claws this time - not bad, just slight - Onyx has done worse trying to get away when I pick her up, but I had to really yell to get him to stop, then he looked at me after he stopped running to his room with wide eyes like I had 3 heads.......it always seems to be on my days off that this happens, when I'm just too present in the house. Perused his papers a little more closely and he was formerly a stray, so he was likely feral with no good experience with humans to be sure. Let's hope that can change!
 
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I wonder if he felt I sneaked up on him?
 

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Sounds more like he thought he was playing and got a fright when you shouted at him.  Hope he is settled now and has come back out.  If not you maybe need to calmly offer him a little reassuring company.  

There is probably a balance to be found for him where he is happy having your company and wanting to play, working out what the rules are for starting play, and not getting over excited.  You have been making loads of progress and this is another part of the learning curve.

I hope you don't have any bad scratches and they heal quickly.
 
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no, it isn't a bad scratch, but he tried it again when I got home from doing errands today. It's like he was giving me heck for not being there, but at the same time happy I was there & not sure which one to go with. He chirped at me and was very vocal as if he were scolding me when I got home. It was a little weird. I hadn't seen him do that before.
 
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oh, and I purposely didn't hover over him too much today, because it seems like the days I have off if I spend TOO much time with/on him he gets this way, so apparently, it doesn't matter how much time I spend with him on my days off - it doesn't bring this on, and that is a bit of a relief!
 
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Yeah. He started off again this morning. I feel like this cat needs more time and attention than I can give him in a multi-cat home. Ignoring my girls is not going to help them accept him, but there are only so many hours in the day and there is only one of me and I'm afraid he's going to end up right back in that rescue center at the end of the month if things don't change.
 

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Yeah. He started off again this morning. I feel like this cat needs more time and attention than I can give him in a multi-cat home. Ignoring my girls is not going to help them accept him, but there are only so many hours in the day and there is only one of me and I'm afraid he's going to end up right back in that rescue center at the end of the month if things don't change.
That is such a shame.  It sounded like Tom was making a lot of progress here and that things had moved on.  Can you see how things go over a period of introductions with your other cats so you could see more what life would be like with them all together before making any decisions?
 
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If he won't accept me, it's pointless whether he accepts my cats. 
 
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