Help!!! I want my cats to get on

[susan crow]

When I moved in with my boyfriend who is a farmer I also brought my cat to join his cat that is a 8year old neutered Tom.

My cat Kurt is very layed back but if pushed has to be the boss and Thomas(boyfriends cat)is very anti social, never purrs and is very timid. When Kurt came we locked him in and then one day introduced him to Thomas- this resulted in Thomas running away but popping back for food. Eventually however he vanished untill my boyfriend was working in the fields and found him, Thomas followed him home. He stayed for a while and we tried to coax him in but eventually went again.

The next time we saw him several weeks later we caught him and locked him inside with a litter tray and bought a plug in that relaxes cats. Thomas slept on my head for over a week and would not leave us alone which was totally out of charactor but even though he was really happy and content as soon as we let him out he was off again. This happed several times untill the last time when Thomas and Kurt slept on the same bed together and seamed to be ok with each other.

Thomas got out and even tried to come back in but Kurt thought he was after his food and chased him, that was 4 months ago and we have not seen him in all that time(even though we have looked everywhere and gone to all his usual hunting grounds) On Saturday evening we were travelling home and as we frequently did talked about Thomas and my boyfriend said that he thought that Thomas probably had been killed or crawled under a bush to die- we were both very sad. Next day however we saw a black cat tail disapear into a garden and as I jumped out of the car I saw Thomas!! I shouted him and he meiowed back frantically but would not come over. Later that night we went to look for him on foot and shouted him and he came running over- my boyfriend picked him up carried him in fed him and last night he slept on my head. He has used his litter tray and slept all day and wanted us to cuddle up to all the time.

He is always hungry when he returns but very healthy and immaculate.

Can anybody please shed some light on this and give me some advice on what to do to sort this out as it is heartbreaking when he goes(and I cant help feeling a little responsible as it was me that brought Kurt!!) My plan is(please advice) that I turn on the plug in again(done) and give him a couple of days to relax then lock up the cat flaps and keep both cats together untill they make friends(hopefully while they are under the influence of plugin-drugging my cats- Im so bad) then when they are friends let them out and then Thomas will have nothing to not come back to if you know what I mean?.

He always trys to come back in after his house arrest but one little growl off Kurt and we dont see him again.

Can anyone think of either reasons, success stories of similar or just some advice which doesnt involve rehoming one of them as not an issue


Thanks so much

 

[salsanchips]

I am not an expert on cat behavior but I will give you my "cat-sense" gut instinct. A few questions first:

I take it Kurt is neutered as well? If not, that may be a factor.

Is Kurt exclusively indoor and never goes outside?

Are they fed in different places with different food bowls?

I think this is about food. Thomas considers the house now owned by Kurt. Thus he will stay away from the house and only come back for food when he gets hungry enough. But not if he has to confront Kurt; he would rather forage.

Here is what I would do -- make it so Kurt "owns" the inside and Thomas "owns" the outside, as far as who eats where. Feed Thomas outside at the same time you feed Kurt inside.

Or just work something out so they eat in different places at the same time.

FYI, when I brought home the two neutered "boys" to my house to meet my indoor female a couple years ago, there was much hissing, hiding and running about. Took about three weeks for it to settle down and several months before they truely acclimated to each other. Be patient.

Good luck,

Chris