Help. Cats still aren't getting along

[elligta]

We adopted a new cat about 2 months ago.  We have a 5 year old male tabby, Oliver.  Luna is a female 1 year old.  When I adopted her I had been looking for months as Oliver loves to play and we really wanted him to have a playmate.  We had a friend live with us for a few months and he had a small terrier and we fostered our daughters cat for about 6 weeks, separately.   Oliver loved them both, just wanted to play nonstop, cuddle, you name it.  It was really sweet to see.

After looking for quite a while, I found Luna.  I had told the adoption group what I was looking for, a playmate for my cat.  Luna was out in the adoption room in a cat tree, she just called to me.  She was so sweet and loving, totally affectionate.  

I was very careful to follow the rules of keeping her separate, swapping rooms, letting her out in the house while Oliver was away, feeding them on opposite sides of closed doors, cracking the door, letting them together very supervised, She was fine until the letting them together part.  No hissing, no growling, she seemed happy to see him.  But once we had them together she was a different cat.  Very aggressive, lunging at him, swiping at him, to the point of yanking his collar off, chasing him.   The final straw was her clawing at him and making him bleed.  So now, she is in one bedroom while Oliver is out.  Then we swap throughout the day.  

We harness trained her.  And we let them see each other briefly each day.  But given the opportunity, she would lunge at him.  

I am at a loss.  I just don't know what to do.  I am scared Luna will hurt Oliver.  We also have bought different calming sprays, plugins and currently a collar, which does nothing to help.  

She is as sweet as can be with us.  

 

[calicosrspecial]

I am sorry to hear this. So the first time they met without any barrier she went for him? Has it happened everytime? Where did these happen? Did Oliver stand and fight or run? Was Oliver trapped or did he have multiple exit routes? Did Oliver do anything? What did he do when he was attacked? DO they have places to go high? Cat trees etc? Any further details about their interactions before the attacks will be helpful.

You have done everything right and it does work. Sometimes it does time and only rarely do some cats not get along.  

I think you should go back to the basics again. We try to associate the other cat with something good like food and play.

So I would go back to feeding them with the door closed then open somewhat etc. Also do scent swapping. Get Oliver's scent on old shirts and put them by where Luna sleeps, where she eats. Also get them to swap sites. And get Luna to play play play. After play feed or give treats. Play with Luna in "her room" and also in the rest of the house.

Get Luna to play with Oliver around (but where she can't get at him). If she starts focusing on him distract with play or food. This should all be done when Luna can't get to Oliver so use baby gates etc where she can't jump them (or go through them). At some point you'll have to get them together again. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

I am guessing Luna is just really afraid and she needs to learn that he does not want to hurt her. A 1 yr old tends to have a lot of energy so play not only builds confidence but also it tires a cat out. I am sure she has loads of energy.

What does Luna do in her room? Where does she hang out? Up high or is she on the ground or under things? How does she carry herself, how is her tail? Would you consider her confident? How about Oliver?

There are a few things that build confidence, food, play, height and love. Make sure you do everything to let them know you love them. Get them to purr as much as possible. Just get them to feel secure anyway possible.

Also, cats absorb our energy. If we have fear then they can take on that fear. Introducing cats can lead to certain emotions. When you do have them around try to be as calm and confident as possible. And if they ever start staring etc then distract if possible.

We'll be here as you go through this process, hopefully we can get them to get along. Once they feel safe and confident and comfortable they will not be hurt it is amazing how close some cats get.

Hang in there.

 

[elligta]

The first time the she did not go for him.  We let Oliver into her bedroom and there were no fluffy tails.  Oliver would walk up to her and sniff and she would always walk away.  It went on like that for a few times.  It wasn’t until we let them out downstairs together that she became aggressive.

Oliver is definitely a tree dweller.  His favorite spot is up above the kitchen cabinets, on the back of the high sofa, bird watching and a high perch in our room. 

Luna goes up above to check it out but rarely stays.  In her room she likes laying on the dresser to look out the window, but likes it under the bed too. 

We have a cat house downstairs, Oliver only goes in it if we have guests over or when we are having dinner, it's near the table.  Luna never stays in it, she checks it out though.

Luna has big bursts of energy, she will go crazy with the Da Bird and jump crazy high, out of control for a while and then rest.  Then go at it again, she is very playful with toys, she likes to be played with.  Which we spend a lot of time doing. 

She walks around with her tail up, always rubbing up against your legs or anything nearby, but she is shy too.  She’ll rub up against my legs so I go down to pet her and she takes off.  Then she will just jump up in my lap and cuddle.  She is very loving and so sweet, she is always purring.  She has never been remotely aggressive towards us, just the opposite.  She is such a great little girl.  She is tiny too, around 6-7 pounds. 

Oliver is just a big lover, even though he doesn’t jump on your lap.  He is a super mellow cat, only will play for a minute before he loses interest.  I always thought of him as confident.  With the other animals he has been around, he was always the instigator in play, very confident.  But with Luna, from the very beginning, he was way more mellow around her.    Now, he is just scared.  When we take her into where he is (with a harness), he just lays down, sometimes he scooches back or will crawl into my lap, which he never does any other time. 

If the harness is not on her, she will go after him.  I was carrying Oliver to take him upstairs so we could have Luna out in the evening, my daughter started playing with the Da Bird (her fav toy) and she would do nothing but stare at Oliver.

I started feeding on the door again last night.  We’ll build from there. 

We are big on affection, we pick them up and snuggle them all the time, if they are in the room, one of us is petting them, Oliver sleeps with me, Luna with my daughter, they get tons of affection (maybe even unwanted!) 

Thank you so much for the advice.  This is so hard on everyone, it helps to know others are here.  

 

[calicosrspecial]

Thanks for the additional information. It sounds like you know a lot about cats.

Can you get Luna to play and not focus on Oliver while Oliver is up high? So Oliver can watch from above as Luna plays?

Oliver needs to know that Luna will not hurt him. Now that may or may not be true at the moment but if Oliver gets more confident Luna will respect him.

If Oliver climbs into your lap while Luna is on the harness just pet him (as long as you will not be scratched or bitten or otherwise hurt). Distract Luna if at all possible with treats. So Oliver can see she is not focusing on him. The less he feels threatened the more confident he will be which should help deter Luna from going after him. 

Can you bring Oliver to Luna with Luna on the harness? Again try to use food as a distraction for Luna. 

After Luna plays give a treat or food. 

I am actually thinking that Luna may lack some confidence and figures she is going to put Oliver "in his place" before he can hurt her. A good defense is a good offense. I would like her to be up in the world more. And of course a lot of play and keep up the love. Oh, and just give her time on the petting. Great that she rubs on you but sometimes it takes some time to pet after they rub. Try to approach her from her level, not from high above. It is great that she cuddles up with you after she runs off when you try to pet her. It is all about trust really. She is trusting but we just need to get her that last bit. 

Keep up the love, the more comfortable they are usually the more accepting they are.

Also, try to do the scent swapping and the site swapping. Give treats to Oliver in Luna's area. Pet him in there. Etc.

If we can get the breakthrough with her taking her focus off of him that will be a great step. Then the more times she finds something more interesting than chasing him we will be well on our way.

Sometimes it just takes time. They both sound like great cats so there shouldn't be an issue given all you are doing and time. You are doing a great job, keep it up.

Please let us know how things are going and any information about how things are progressing. The more we know about the situation I think the better we will be able to get them living together nicely. Hang in there and keep up the great work. Looking forward to how things go. 

 

[elligta]

*update* I thought things were going better.  We were doing reintroduction's.  Luna seemed relaxed in the room with Oliver, she was still on the harness though.  But she would actually sprawl out and be relaxed.

 Then my daughter was leaving her room at 10:30 pm and Luna darted out.  Ran downstairs and immediately attacked Oliver who was sitting on the chair.  He has a big scratch by his ear. bleeding but didn't need stitches or anything.  The vet looked at it the next morning.   Now Oliver is terrified of her.  He's scared to walk out of a room.  He is super cautious, like he's afraid she is going to run out of the room again.    

 

[onirin]

Correct me if I'm misunderstand but it sounds like almost all attacks happen downstairs?

Should we explore that specific area a little more?

 

[calicosrspecial]

I am so sorry to hear about this. 

I am very surprised at this development. 

Did you see what exactly happened? How immediate was it? Did she run or kind of walk or walk quickly? Has she darted or tried to dart out of the room before? Did anyone see how her ears were? How her tail was? How was she acting in the room before this happened? Was she stressed at all? Was she confined to that room for that day or longer? Did she play that evening? How long did the attack last? What did Oliver do to defend himself? Did she bite? How many swats? How was it broken up? Any more details on exactly what happened would be helpful.

I am trying to think why she would want to attack him especially given the improvement that seemed to be happening. Especially with doing a beeline to him.

Do you know Luna's story? Was she raised by her mother? In the adoption room where you fell in love with her was she with other cats?

Does she ever go up on that chair or does she use that chair to go up on something near that chair? Is there a window by that chair? Is there anything like a cat tree or anything high behind the chair? 

It is understandable that Oliver is frightened. Please try to do whatever you can to coax him out of the room, his special favorite food, love. make over him with what ever love you can give him. In the room he is in where is he spending his time? Is he hiding or up on a bed, chair, etc?

I would continue with the basics. Feed near each other (with barrier or harness), play with her near him (on harness), try to get him high and looking down on her during play. Any safe interactions where he can see she will not attack will help things.

Hopefully your answers to the above questions will help shed more light on the situation. Hang in there, I know this is heartbreaking. I am so glad Oliver wasn't hurt worse though he has some emotional scars we need to heal. We need to build his confidence back up. We'll have to do it a little differently given he doesn't want to play but with food, watching Luna play (with her on the harness), getting him up high on things, and of course a lot of love we can do it.

We be with you through this process.