HELP! Cat vs. Kitten

[cms33]

We have had Carly since she was 5 months, she just turned 1 year. She is a quirky cat, we love her. But she was getting lonely as mine and my husbands schedules got busier. So we did some research and decided to get another. We got 3 month old Eli. We kept them separated at first, let them sniff one another. Carly was angry about his presence and always hissed and growled at him. He just sat there, didn't even care. After a week now she is much calmer about him. She sniffs him a lot, licks him all the time. But quite often she bites him on the neck- I don't think that hard as he barely reacts, sometimes putting his ears back and swatting at her. And sometimes she pins him and bites and they kick each other- which I really don't like. I am nervous she is going to hurt him. I always separate them when we aren't home (which I feel terrible about putting poor Eli in the bedroom).

The worst part is at night. We always had problems with Carly at night, she never behaves in the bedroom. We always give her a try and she acts up and we'd lock her out. She would wake us up several times a night crying at the door, part of the reason we decided to get Eli. Now my husband and I don't both get to sleep in the same room- one sleeps in with Eli in the bedroom and the other on the couch with Carly. I can't take much more of that ridiculousness. We tried last night to both sleep in the room and treat Carly as usual but Eli wouldn't stay on the bed to sleep- he wanted to play. I don't feel safe leaving them unsupervised because I'm afraid she will hurt him.

Are they just playing? Is is too rough? When is it okay to leave them unsupervised? And how can we work out the sleeping situation??? Are we just going to have to wait till he bulks up a bit and she isn't so rough with him?

Thanks for reading my long obnoxious post, any advice would be much appreciated.

 

[StefanZ]

What you describe is not only play, it is true.

It is a dominance thing, entirely normal, and was coming. So it is NOT assault.
Her trying to show extra who is the master here. Much normal.

They are seeming to do it very OK, both of them. You yourself tell he doesnt care much.
Sometimes the resident is rather hard, and the kitten IS shrieking a lot. But not here.

So, take it easy. Let them make things out. It IS going OK!

good luck!

 

[purrrplej]

I agree that it is probably just play, with a bit of edge to it. (Just to let the newcomer know who is boss.) I don't think Carly will actually hurt Eli. You can probably trust them together at least while you are sleeping (if the kits will let you sleep!). In time, hopefully you will feel reassured enough that no real damage will be done to leave them alone together when you're not home. Good luck! I'm going through the pains of introducing a new kitty, myself, so I can sympathize!

 

[my4llma]

That's exactly how Luna and Midnight play. They just attach themselves at each others throats and stay like that. We've kept them appart for a long time because Midnight is so much younger than her, but now that Midnight is older and bigger we let them go at it for a few minutes each day in the hopes they'll get sick of that and play a little less rough in the future. Luna has calmed down in her playing but Midnight is still just as rough. Luna calmed down after she was spayed, we're hoping the same happens when Midnight get's neutered.