Help! 3 Q/2 Year Old Ragdoll/burmese Female Stressed By New Kitten!

[Janey Hay]

We have a much loved 3 1/2 year old Ragdoll/Burmese girl. She had a rocky start to life, that coupled with being intimidated by our now deceased rabbit. Since the rabbit died she has really come into her own, she is very shy but the sweetest girl. She is also VERY playful so we decided to get her a little friend. Charlie, a male Ragdoll kitten arrived a week ago. We followed advice and had kitten in separate room and introduced them slowly but Smudge is nothappy, seems terrified, cries constantly when around him and just wants outside. I feel likegiving Charlie back as I feel so bad for Smudge but my daughter would be heart broken. Will the situation improve? I am beside myself!!

 

[ArtNJ]

Ok, lets talk general first. It is fairly common for a cat older than 2 yrs to be distressed by a kitten's arrival. Many times this can be overcome and they become buddies, but other times improvement is to a state of long lasting mild distaste, where the older cat will leave rooms to avoid the younger and has a modest level of anxiety about the younger cat. That unfortunate state can happen no matter how skilled a cat whisperer you are. There are strategies to help, but it remains something of a dice roll dependent on the cats' personalities and luck.

Unfortunately, the fact that your cat was distressed by a rabbit over it sounds like the long term is not a good sign here. Unlike, I assume, the rabbit, the kitten is going to be aggressive about following the older cat and wanting to play. I don't want to overreact to limited information, but nonetheless I feel compelled to say that your odds for a happy outcome are probably less than normal for these situations given the rabbit history.

A week is not very long in the scheme of things and I am not exactly sure where in the process you are. If you give us more detail as to what is going on, you'll get advice as to how to proceed. These situations cannot be predicted, and despite my concern, a good outcome remains very possible. Also give us more details about the situation vis-a-vis the rabbit.

 

[Janey Hay]

The rabbit terrorized all neighbour hood cats - she was a real madam!! smudge learnt to keep her distance but was hypervigilant, Ruby the rabbit would pounce on her at any opportunity. She is behaving in the same way as when a friend brought her dog in the house, she meowed all night, terrified, wanting to go outside. She calmed down the next day but of course Charlie never goes away so the stress continues. We were initially keeping kitten in a bedroom and that seemed to relax smudge somewhat but he is getting more vocal now and doesn't want to be shut in a room. We are giving smudge lots of one on one time, she loves bouncing on tramp with kids and playing in her tunnel and garden, it is just such a struggling act.

 

[Janey Hay]

So now we are keeping them separate mostly, the kitten sleeps in one room and smudge has free range of house overnight. She sleeps with my son and that room is not entered by the kitten. I am trying to give them both time when they have free reign of the house. Right now kitten is asleep in my room so I am encouraging smudge to have a sniff around the kittens room.

 

[ArtNJ]

Ok, glad to hear it was a crazy outside rabbit. I thought your cat was afraid of a normal domestic rabbit, lol. Being afraid of a crazed rabbit with blood lust is normal...for the cat at least. (Whoever heard of a rabbit that acts like a bull, lol?) So I retract my rabbit-related comments. We are back in fairly normal territory.

At some point, your going to have to see how they do together. If the kitten is cautious, as they sometimes are, it might well go much better than you think. A lot of times the older cat will growl, hiss, even swat, but if the kitten remains calm and just watches, the older cat basically gets it out of the system. What you don't want to allow is fighting, or chasing with hostile intent. If you get that, you have to shut it down asap. You can also try to use toys or food to distract if the situation looks like it is going south.

Please be aware that you don't need to worry about the kitten. If your older cat gets over it a bit, pinning the kitten and making it squeal is normal. That would actually be a good outcome, teaching the kitten when not to bother the older cat. However, your older cat is probably going to be too nervous for this.

At this point, you just don't know where they will be in a week. They could actually be buddies. So no talk of giving the kitten back. Lets transition to giving them some actual monitored time together and see what happens. Report back.

Good luck!

 

[Janey Hay]

Thank you for your reply . We have started monitored time together , they have sniffed noses a few times, smudge has hissed a few times . But she generally goes straight to the door and meow's relentlessly to be let out. Would never hurt the kitten, she is a gentle soul , she seems frightened, can feel her wee heart pounding.

 

[ArtNJ]

Thank you for your reply . We have started monitored time together , they have sniffed noses a few times, smudge has hissed a few times . But she generally goes straight to the door and meow's relentlessly to be let out. Would never hurt the kitten, she is a gentle soul , she seems frightened, can feel her wee heart pounding.

Unfortunately, it has to be, I think the human term is aversion therapy? You know, where you get over your fear of spiders by being around spiders, and gradually they bring the spiders closer and the encounter lasts for longer? A few mild hisses are nothing. If she is still eating and using the litterbox normally, you have to let it play out. That doesn't mean you can't be humane about it, working up to longer visits, giving alone time and affection after, all that good stuff. But the basic concept is the same as that spider therapy...she needs time to see the kitten isn't so bad and get over it.

It gets more complicated with an active kitten that wants to jump all over the older cat. Sounds like you don't have that at this point. A good sign pointing to increased chances of favorable outcome! But don't panic if you do get some of that from the kitten in the future.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

It is normal for an introduction process to take a while. Even a few months is considered normal! Keeping them separate unless you can supervise is a good thing right now. I would try to have a good play session with the little one before you let them interact too.

Do you have cat trees or high places she can go to get away from the little one; but still observe him?

 

[Janey Hay]

Things have kind of improved, Smudge is tolerating him but hasn't been very playful which is unusual for her. She has lots of high places to escape to. She just seems a bit stressed. I feel bad for her. It's only been 2 weeks so hopefully she'all get there!!

 

[ArtNJ]

I tell me people never to get another kitten just to get their resident cat a "friend" unless the resident cat is under 2. This is just a common scenario. However, their future relationship status is still unknown, and at least some improvement is extremely likely. Very good chance they will reach full toleration, or very close. Friends is more iffy, but there is hope.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I think of it this way; I wouldn't expect a 12 year old kid to be BFFs with a 6 year old even if the 12 year old likes being with a 6 year old some of the time. But let them both grow up and the age difference doesn't make such a difference anymore. I really think time is all you need. Smudge will likely get more like her old self as she continues to get comfortable with Charlie and her new normal.

I do believe cats can enjoy another cats presence even if they aren't snuggle buddies or constant playmates. I see it in my mother's cats who are still exploring the new hierarchy after the loss of her top cat 2 months ago. Every now and then they test each other; even though they've been in the same home for 12 1/2 years. Even though cats are territorial; we know territories overlap and cats experience each others presence that way or in feral colonies. Sometimes these things just need time to naturally develop. So don't be discouraged if they take a step back here and there or it just takes a while.

 

[RufusGizmo]

I brought two ten week old kittens home to two eleven year old resident cats. Took forever for them to get along. we are at four and a half months and there is still some hissing, etc. but it is much better. as long as there is no real fighting (bloodshed etc.) it just takes a lot of time and patience. we just started leaving them out together when we are not there, although we still keep kittens in basement at night, just so we can get some sleep. just give it time, they will get there.