I'm 51 years old and have had cats for most of my life. Looking back I realize that until 2012, I've never actually been with any of my cats to the end of their life. My cat Ripple died in 2012 of a stroke at the age of 23. I put her to sleep when the vet said she would not recover. After she died, I adopted my cat Mike when he was 11 from a rescue shelter to keep Taz company. I didn't want Taz and Mike (that's them in the photo) too far apart in age because I imagined them growing old together. A few years later, I lost my job and the nightmare began. I moved myself and my cats to Phoenix, AZ to look for work but was unsuccessful. To make a long story short, I am now applying for disability and cannot work and so have no income, except through donating plasma. When I got Taz as a kitten and later Mike, I never imagined the financial straights I would find myself in at this stage in my life. Within less than a year of moving to AZ, Taz who I'd had for 17 years - the longest of any cat I've owned and the love of my life - started showing signs of what I thought might be a UTI. He was also drinking a lot of water but I contributed that to the Arizona heat. When he started peeing excessively I took him to the vet. He told me that Taz might be diabetic but that he had to do a blood test to be sure. I explained to him that all I had was $50 on me but that I got paid on Tuesday and could I please pay the rest then. It was Friday that day. He referred me to the front desk where I was politely told to come back after I got paid. The vet sent me home with the suggestion of giving Taz Pedialyte to restore the electrolytes since he was dehydrated. Over the course of the next 4 days, Taz developed diabetic ketoacidosis, a true medical emergency that cannot be treated at home. His little body flooded with toxins and his health deteriorated to the point that he could no longer eat or drink. When I called and told the vet what was happening he can told me to take him to vet emergency services, something you cannot do without money. By the time I got paid, Taz was at death's door. He hadn't slept at and was pacing back and forth, crying and looking up at me as if to say, " Please, help me!" He was suffering and I knew it had to stop. I picked up my check and spent the money instead on euthanizng him. The guilt I felt for not being able to afford a simple test and the cost of insulin (only $10/mo.) was apmost unbearable. My cat Mike was traumatized by having to watch Taz get so sick, then get taken from the apartment never to return. Later that year, Mike developed a small, raised bump on his hind, near his tail. It went away after a while, but another appeared on his tail. This grew fast and broke through the skin. It was black, hard and cracked. It eventually fell off. Shortly after Mike started limping. I didn't see anything so thought he might've stepped on something and his foot would eventually heal. Mike was a large cat and very sensitive about people touching his beautiful majestic paws. Although very affectionate, he did not like to be picked up. I guess this is why, up until 3 weeks ago, I never saw the immense tumor enveloping his entire right foot and leg. The tumor had ruptured and become ulcerated. It started to smell and it's how I came to discover it. I immediately brought him to the vet who suspected it was a type of soft tissue sarcoma but said it needed to be biopsied to know for sure. He also said that Mike would most likely have to have his leg amputated followed by radiation therapy. Finding myself again with a very sick pet and no money to pay for his treatment, I started a fundraising campaign The vet said the tumor abscess was infected and sent me home with antibiotics and pain medication to treat it temporarily until I raised enough to pay for the biopsy. From that day on, Mike's health deteriorated at an alarming rate. He stopped eating completely two days into the medication. By day four, he could no longer walk without falling. Day 5 five he could no longer make it to the litterbox; instead he simply peed where he lay. Several times, he attempted to stand and drink some water but would lose his balance and step on the bowl instead. He finally laid down in his bed and put his head in my hand. He moaned, making gut wrenching sounds while he struggled to breath. He finally died with his head in my hand. I have always had pets in my life but knowing what can happen to a senior pet - diabetes, cancer, etc. - and not having the money to treat them, is not something I think I could ever do again. Taz and Mike's deaths broke my heart. Taz could have lived a much longer life and while Mike had cancer, I feel at fault for not being able to treat him sooner or even the cost of euthanasia sooner. I was able to raise the money so that Mike could be euthanized at home but he died the day before the vet was scheduled to come. That was at 2:30am yesterday morning. I am profoundly sad and heart broken and overwhelmed with guilt. I don't think many people realize what the cost of caring for their senior cat might entail. I know I didn't. I am posting this in the hopes that it might spare another cat owner the same fate. Everyone should be able to have the joy of having a pet in their life but it comes with great responsibility. This means starting to put money aside the day you bring your kitten home so you are prepared for any emergency. Yes, there she organizations that help with vet bills but it always with strict guidelines and almost never for non-emergency visits. You must already have a diagnosis in and a treatment plan from the vet. By not monetarily preparing for their future health, my cats were robbed my cats of a peaceful ending to their life and has left a whole in my heart and in my life.
