Having a hard time introducing new kitty to my herd

[sadiesdad]

Well, it hasn't gotten any better, counting today, 6 times I have tried to get them together. Daisy ends up getting one of them in a corner, last time she just laid down in front of them washing, like she wasn't worried at all. I just tried again, a few minutes ago, it's been about a week since last time, because my wife just had surgery. I opened the door onto the porch, Lily trotted to go out, Daisy wanted to come in, they met face to face. They sit growling and staring each other down about 5 minutes, then Daisy jumped on Lily, with hair flying, Jethro had been in the background watching, but she got him a little too, somehow. I had to get the water bottle after her, Lily ran into the bedroom under the bed, Jethro standing watch at the bedroom door...until I went in there, and he went under the chair he gets under when scared, or sleeping. Daisy is so loving and sweet to us, but I don't know if I can keep on with this, between them.
Oh, and I forgot, the other week, when we took Daisy to get fixed, they found a tattoo on her, she has already been fixed.

 

[Alldara]

I'll note that I read your first post but not all the replies so maybe I missed something. I will be able to read more later.

I think you need to back up to screened/gated introductions. Was this done? Or straight from closed door to meeting?

You can also try taking a used shirt of yours or your wife's and rubbing it on the baseboards of the home.

I understand that you might be having difficulties separating them, but using a water spray, which induces fear after she's already attacking because she's afraid...well, it'll make the matter worse long term. We usually recommend using a big peice of cardboard.

You can also try introductions to one cat at a time. Maybe since she and Jericho aren't friends, having him there is causing that next level of stress to take it over the edge. Anyways, I'd try the gate and giving some high reward treats at the gate. I borrowed some babygates off my local Buy Nothing Group and stacked them. You can tape cardboard on top of the gate through.

I'll also note, that in your last post, the growling was the point to separate them, not wait for the fight. That's the point you want to distract them.

 

[Alldara]

 

[sadiesdad]

I'll note that I read your first post but not all the replies so maybe I missed something. I will be able to read more later.

I think you need to back up to screened/gated introductions. Was this done? Or straight from closed door to meeting?

You can also try taking a used shirt of yours or your wife's and rubbing it on the baseboards of the home.

I understand that you might be having difficulties separating them, but using a water spray, which induces fear after she's already attacking because she's afraid...well, it'll make the matter worse long term. We usually recommend using a big peice of cardboard.

You can also try introductions to one cat at a time. Maybe since she and Jericho aren't friends, having him there is causing that next level of stress to take it over the edge. Anyways, I'd try the gate and giving some high reward treats at the gate. I borrowed some babygates off my local Buy Nothing Group and stacked them. You can tape cardboard on top of the gate through.

I'll also note, that in your last post, the growling was the point to separate them, not wait for the fight. That's the point you want to distract them.

No, I don't have gate or screen.... we have two storm doors that access the back porch, they have seen, hissed, and watched each other through them. When Daisy was still outside, she would come right up to the door glass, and Jethro would slap at the glass. Daisy doesn't act like she has any fear at all, she is merely trying to take over as the dominant one, I think. Nothing seems to scare her, accidentally dropping something, washing machine running, door slam accidentally. Once she got Jethro in a corner, and just laid down in front of him, washing her face, laying there like she had all the time in the world, she wasn't going anywhere, until he did. I have noticed Daisy has nosed me a few times, she has no fear of you getting close in her face, but she will not do "winking eyes", I call it. I can close my eyes almost completely, like winking at Jethro and Lily, and they will do it back. " The Trust Factor: Cats may close both eyes simultaneously as a display of comfort or intense affection. "
Not sure what you meant by: "You can also try introductions to one cat at a time. Maybe since she and Jericho aren't friends, having him there is causing that next level of stress to take it over the edge." Lily and Jethro is jealousy, I think...but deep down, I could tell Jethro was worried one time, when Lily ran under the bed...he kept coming back to check on her, and pacing the floor. Lily on the other hand, heard Daisy chase Jethro out on the porch awhile back, she ran to the door (we keep it opened about a foot, so they can go in and out, as they wish) to see what was going on, the went in the bedroom and got under the bed, she wasn't even thinking about helping him. Actually Jethro and Lily seem to be playing a little more than usual, chasing each other around the house....they have even went back to both napping with me on the bed, without one getting jealous, and getting up and leaving.
Yes, I should have stopped them at growling...but Daisy is slick, she stuck her head through the door, and just stood there as Lily growled and hissed, then lunged in a split second, through the door, and right onto Lily. Jethro and Lily were raised from kittens with us, never having a confrontation with another cat, so they are completely innocent as far as that goes.

 

[Alldara]

Give the videos I posted a watch.

Cats don't usually do "aggressive" behaviours for dominance. Thinking about things as dominance is looking at cats through a dog lens. Cats act "aggressively" usually out of fear or pain, sometimes even grief.

What I mean by introducing them one at a time, is that your two resident cats do not need to do the introduction sessions with the new cat at the same time. For example you can do just an intro session with your male resident cat (RC for resident cat) and the new cat. Especially if it's the female RC and NC (new cat) having struggles, it might be less intimidating for all cats involved if you're doing intros this way.

If your two resident cats aren't bonded, as in cleaning one another and playing with or sleeping with one another daily, then even though they likely care for one another, they don't have a high level of trust. But having say Male RC get used to NC, well then Female RC can see that NC is playing and not trying to hurt.

If they are growling and getting in fights they are not ready for face to face. You need to go to barriered introductions.

Give the introduction guides a read and watch the videos. Then start the introduction point where all three cats are comfortable and slowly move forward at the pace of the slowest to feel comfortable cat.