Have I Made A Mistake?

[Jemima Mouse]

Dear Fellow Cat Lovers.
We have adopted a second cat, aged six months, male, neutered. He's a delightful boy. Very sweet and loving and friendly. Fabulous with the children. Playful but not overly so. He's just fab.
Only our gorgeous old girl doesn't agree. She's eight. Always been the only cat. But seen to be ok with garden feline visitors. She's always slept at the end of our bed. She loves her home and to snooze the day away. She has always come for a cuddle on her own terms, usually when I lay on the bed.
However, our new boy has taken over her spot on the bed! I tried to shut him out so she could sleep on her spot but she didn't want to. So I ended up making her a bed elsewhere.
I introduced them following the advice on here, however it was a bit rushed as new cat escaped his room and spent the whole time chirping around our resident girl. But resident girl just wants to be left alone. She seems to tolerate him being nearby but if he tries to approach her she hisses and swats.
It's only been just over a week though. I kept him confined to a room for a few days, scent swapped etc.
There's no fighting as such, she (old cat) just won't let him
Approach her.
She just seems really put out and not herself, which I understand but I just feel bad and guilty and like I have spoilt her lovely life with us. But at the same time I love the new cat and happy we could give him a home.
Do I just leave them to it and hope they adjust? Young cat would very much like to play with old cat but right now that seems impossible!
I am trying to give my resident cat lots of love in the meantime.

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Considering the cat introduction went quicker than planned, I'd say things aren't too bad. Hissing and swatting is just your older cat telling the kitten to stay back. As long as there's no fur flying, blood, or one cat seeming scared/stressed, I think things will be ok.

Just watch and ensure she is eating/drinking/sleeping/using the litter box normally.

Keep spending time with her. And tell her she's not being replaced. Feed them treats together. Let her see that he isn't a threat.

Good luck. Hopefully once he gets a bit older and settles down, they'll become besties.

 

[jen]

Sounds like things are going pretty typically at the moment. Keep scent swapping and let them be, separate him in a bathroom or spare room for awhile if she really seems annoyed with him.

 

[She's a witch]

Paradoxically, adopting two kittens could work better in your situation, as the young one will inevitably be inviting the older resident cat to play, and if he'd have a kitten buddy to play with, they would (most probably) leave her alone. But I agree that it seems it's not bad between them. Just watch your resident kitty for any sign of health issues resulting from stress, but hopefully she'll stop being stressed soon and will be back to being herself.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Given the age difference, the sex difference, and the fact it hasn't been all that long I think this is pretty normal. Does your older girl have anywhere she can go that the kitten can't, make sure she has some good one on one time with you. And when you can, wear that little one out with toys.

 

[Danglos]

Our older girl couldn't cope with our young boy kittens. In the end she started to eat less, hide and not really engage. She also sat facing the wall and it was very sad. We rehomed her to our close friends so we can still see her but she's really happy being a solo cat and ruling her own house. Unfortunately cat personalities differ. I agree with other people that two kittens are better as they's give her space and play together. They just have different energy levels and boys will fight a lot its in their nature even if only play.

As a kid Cookie our big cat, she never got along with Megan the kitten. Eventually Megan ran away!
Poppy got on fine with her brother Leo until she sadly died so siblings do fine at least while they are young.
Jessie hated and bullied the younger boys
Lucy was scared of and hated other cats and was rehomed.

All this has taught me that the girl cats mainly all had reactions to other cats whereas all our boys have got along fine.

 

[Jemima Mouse]

Thank you for your replies! Resident cat is eating and drinking well and can go outside when she likes - she also loves to sleep up on the wardrobe and the kitten doesn't go there.
The kitten (Colin) is actually pretty respectful of Mouse (resident cat) the majority of the time and will just lie nearby her. If he looks like he's going to ambush I distract him with a toy. Mouse gets to sleep most of the day in peace.
I *think/hope* it will be ok. Thank you all for your reassurance and advice.

 

[rubysmama]

I *think/hope* it will be ok. Thank you all for your reassurance and advice.

Sounds good. Keep us posted on their progress.

 

[terestrife]

I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old female cats. They sometimes have a staring matching with tails twitching, and then get over it. Lol never gotten into any real fights.

My point is, having the younger cat has given my older cat someone to exercise with. Kitty is a big girl, but my vet was surprised by how strong her legs are. Lol she's even lost half a pound from chasing elsa around.

Give them time. They might end up friends eventually. Change isn't easy for cats.

 

[Jemima Mouse]

Well they sat on the windowsill near each other today and seemed to tolerate that. However, when darkness falls and my resident cat comes into the main room, the youngster decides it would be a good idea to approach her - he's just so friendly and curious! But also he'd liked to play (he just ambushed her from the bed) - and these instances - obviously - are not taken well at all. My old cat will hiss and swipe and growl with her ears flat. Poor sweetheart. She is not interested to play and she sees it as threatening, naturally. Oh dear. I really love my new boy and I won't re-home him. We are his fifth home and he is just so sweet and lovely. But I also don't like to see my resident cat so peed off. I do miss her! I'm just hoping they will learn and get used to each other - and once new cat can go outside, he will burn off more energy. He gets played with a lot in the day, but not as much in the evening, which is when he seems to be feeling the most energetic...

 

[rubysmama]

My old cat will hiss and swipe and growl with her ears flat. Poor sweetheart.

As long as she isn't attacking him, I think things will be ok. Do make sure she has high spots, or another room where she can get away from him, if she can. And, I guess, maybe try to find a way to play with him a bit more in the evenings.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Well they sat on the windowsill near each other today and seemed to tolerate that. However, when darkness falls and my resident cat comes into the main room, the youngster decides it would be a good idea to approach her - he's just so friendly and curious! But also he'd liked to play (he just ambushed her from the bed) - and these instances - obviously - are not taken well at all. My old cat will hiss and swipe and growl with her ears flat. Poor sweetheart. She is not interested to play and she sees it as threatening, naturally. Oh dear. I really love my new boy and I won't re-home him. We are his fifth home and he is just so sweet and lovely. But I also don't like to see my resident cat so peed off. I do miss her! I'm just hoping they will learn and get used to each other - and once new cat can go outside, he will burn off more energy. He gets played with a lot in the day, but not as much in the evening, which is when he seems to be feeling the most energetic...

Our cats have always been early morning and night owls and sleep away the most of the day. If he gets wound up in the evening, he probably feels a little full of himself and bold, and approaches her. Since he's respectful of her, I think this will work. In another week or so, you might notice her playfully chasing him a step or two, then hissing if he stops to look at her. This is encouraging, she's taking interest but making sure he doesn't step out of line.
I always wondered why the US Army didn't employ sassy female cats to be drill sergeants. They seem to get respect no matter what

 

[danteshuman]

It sounds like things are progressing well .... even though she seems to hate him! If she really hated him, she would try to kill him. I think you should keep doing what you are doing. I would also suggest more high places and more play for both cats. Mouse needs one on one play with just you (and Colin not in the room) to build up her confidence. Colin needs to play vigorously morning and night. A bird feeder and a bird watching window would be nice to. After you play with Colin so much he starts to pant and doesn’t want to play any more ..... then I would feed them both treats (or wet food.) as close together as you can.

*I have found rabbit fur critters to be the thing the kittens love to play fetch with (after I cut the tails off.) I can play fetch while watching TV and just vary where I toss it to keep it interesting. Pet Fit For Life sells fishing pole toys that all my cats seem to love. Next month I’m buying them a new one with the tail attachments. I thought they loved the feather one then I got them the feather tail toy and they went insane for it!!! I get my boy to jump up and down things, jump in the air and run with his wand toys. It really works to tire him out!

* The good news is Colin is still a kitten/teen. So his being hyper should reduce greatly by the time he is 2-3 years old.

 

[Jemima Mouse]

It sounds like things are progressing well .... even though she seems to hate him! If she really hated him, she would try to kill him. I think you should keep doing what you are doing. I would also suggest more high places and more play for both cats. Mouse needs one on one play with just you (and Colin not in the room) to build up her confidence. Colin needs to play vigorously morning and night. A bird feeder and a bird watching window would be nice to. After you play with Colin so much he starts to pant and doesn’t want to play any more ..... then I would feed them both treats (or wet food.) as close together as you can.

*I have found rabbit fur critters to be the thing the kittens love to play fetch with (after I cut the tails off.) I can play fetch while watching TV and just vary where I toss it to keep it interesting. Pet Fit For Life sells fishing pole toys that all my cats seem to love. Next month I’m buying them a new one with the tail attachments. I thought they loved the feather one then I got them the feather tail toy and they went insane for it!!! I get my boy to jump up and down things, jump in the air and run with his wand toys. It really works to tire him out!

* The good news is Colin is still a kitten/teen. So his being hyper should reduce greatly by the time he is 2-3 years old.

Thank you so much for this! Really reassuring and helpful. Col has a tree where he can watch the birds feed! So that's a tick! My Mousey Cat is not particularly playful, but I will make more of an effort with her, and have been in terms of fussing - if she will let me!
I'm going to buy some new toys for Colin, so I can play with him in the evening - I have a fishing rod one that I dangle over the sofa, which he enjoys. He also loves his marble in the main area as we have wooden floors. I will look up those toys you mentioned.
They sat on the windowsill again today - Mouse hissed once when he jumped up, but then she sat there doing the blinking thing - don't they call that feline kisses? I think at the moment, she's telling him "You're OK, but don't think about touching me!" She is so flipping moody! But I do understand it from her point of view.
She's on a diet at the moment so I can't feed her wet food - she has a special metabolic diet plan... she's 6kg - used to be 4.7kg. I've never overfed her, but over the winter she just stayed sleeping all the time - so I have to measure her food out now, which is not great timing with introducing a new cat. Colin does get wet food - but I feed them in separate rooms at the moment.

 

[Jemima Mouse]

*I have found rabbit fur critters to be the thing the kittens love to play fetch with (after I cut the tails off.)

By the way - what are rabbit fur critters?!

 

[Jemima Mouse]

Our cats have always been early morning and night owls and sleep away the most of the day. If he gets wound up in the evening, he probably feels a little full of himself and bold, and approaches her. Since he's respectful of her, I think this will work. In another week or so, you might notice her playfully chasing him a step or two, then hissing if he stops to look at her. This is encouraging, she's taking interest but making sure he doesn't step out of line.
I always wondered why the US Army didn't employ sassy female cats to be drill sergeants. They seem to get respect no matter what

Ha ha! Yes! They know what they want and what they do not!

 

[terestrife]

She's on a diet at the moment so I can't feed her wet food - she has a special metabolic diet plan... she's 6kg - used to be 4.7kg. I've never overfed her, but over the winter she just stayed sleeping all the time - so I have to measure her food out now, which is not great timing with introducing a new cat. Colin does get wet food - but I feed them in separate rooms at the moment.

If you ever have a little extra money. You can buy a microchip feeder. They won't need to eat in separate rooms. Sure feed has been a blessing in my home. I have a 14 pound cat and an 8 lb cat.

 

[Jemima Mouse]

If you ever have a little extra money. You can buy a microchip feeder. They won't need to eat in separate rooms. Sure feed has been a blessing in my home. I have a 14 pound cat and an 8 lb cat.

I'll have to check it out. I tried to feed them together but she ate with a grumble -(growled whilst eating her food)! I would certainly like to feed them in the same room in the future. So that feeder could be very useful. Thanks for the recommendation.

 

[danteshuman]

Yangabaga (sp) real fur mice with rattle , off of Amazon. I call them critters because they are larger than the regular mice ...... just cut off the tail. After watching one kitten gobble down three tails and then her brother (my 7th month old) eat a tail .... I cut the tails off of all the mice. I was reassured that rabbit fur is digestible but that really wasn’t very comforting to me. (I watched him for 3 days, both were fine.) Tail eating seems to be a fatal flaw of all long haired real fur mice ...... I checked multiple brands & sellers. The cats like them just find without the tails.

 

[danteshuman]

Yangbaga real fur mice with rattles​