Happy birthday Mew, my sweet boy. Mew would've been 13 years old today, so I wanted to create a post to celebrate his memory. I adopted Mew from a rescue organization when he was only 2 months. I was only 12 years old at the time. Unfortunately something happened to his mother since he and his siblings were alone without her returning. When I first saw him meowing at me through the cage, I knew right away that he was meant to be with me. Mew was the sweetest and kindest cat. He always had so much energy and loved talking non stop. Mew always had so much love to give and I loved him with all my heart. I owe so much to that cat. He literally saved my life. Growing up, I had a rough upbringing with a alcoholic mother and a father abandoned us at a young age. So I was pretty much alone and going through so much my whole life. If it wasn't for Mew and my husband (boyfriend at the time), I wouldn't be here today. Knowing that he depended on me and needed me to protect him is what made me not give up. I still remember when I was only 12 and I was crying, that he would always comfort and lay with me. He always listened when ever I needed someone to talk too and he was always there. He's been gone for 2 months and it's still extremely hard without him in my life. I miss him following me through the house every where I go, meowing non stop, and just always being with me. It hurts so much and I feel like he was taken away too soon, before his time. He was always super healthy, had so much energy, and would never stop moving. Even at almost 13 years old, he never slowed down except for the last month. If it wasn't for the cancer, I feel like he would've easily made it way passed 20 years old. When I moved from California to the Netherlands 5 years ago, there was no doubt in my mind that he would be coming with us. I would never leave him behind. I know that we made the right decision to put him to sleep because he was in so much pain and his cancer was extremely aggressive. A part of my mind is always tormenting me like what if I took him to the vet sooner?, what if I realized something was wrong quicker? Or even did I give up on him too soon, should I have fought harder? I know it wouldn't have made a difference since the cancer he had was too aggressive and nothing could have prevented it, but I just can't help thinking what I could've done differently to save him. I remember when I heard he had a tumor, I was worried, but I thought maybe they could remove it with surgery and he would be alright. When I heard he first had cancer, I started crying uncontrollably and I fell apart instantly. It was my worst fear happening. A part of me wishes that we would've done chemotherapy so we could have had him with us a little longer. But even with the chemotherapy, he would have only have made it another 6-9 months at most. It wouldn't have been fair to put him through all of that just so I could have him with me a little longer. At that point it was almost a month later when we found everything out. He was so weak, barely moving, and he couldn't eat on his own for a few weeks. I did everything I could to save him and I really wish I could've done more. He knew it was his time and that he was ready to pass on, I could see that he was only holding on for me. On his last night, he came and slept on the end of the bed like he did every night. At that point, he hadn't slept on the bed with us in over 3 weeks, so I'm thankful to have that last memory of him. On his last morning, I syringe fed him because he was so underweight and I wanted to make sure he wasn't starving. I wanted him to be as comfortable as possible before he had to go. We spend the rest of the afternoon with him on the balcony and I made sure he knew how much we loved him. Letting him go was the hardest decision I ever made and I remember wishing I could tell our vet to stop when she gave him the injection first to sleep. I know in my heart that we did the right thing, but I still miss my baby every day. The only thing that brings me a little comfort is that he's not in pain anymore and that he was loved so much his entire life. I appreciate Mew always being there for me when I needed him the most and loving me unconditionally. I could never forget him. To honor Mew's memory, we had a custom made urn created that looks just like him for his ashes. Having that done really made feel a bit happier. Since the day Mew passed away, I fell into a huge depression, had no energy/motivation to do anything, any task became too much, and I was crying non stop. I was in a pretty bad place. I'm home most of the day while my husband works, so I was extremely lonely and depressed most of the day, especially since Mew was always with me. I felt like my heart was crushed into pieces. Mew was the only cat I had, so it was really difficult losing him. I really missed having a companion and someone that was always with me especially during the day. I know everyone grieves at a different pace, but I knew that it would be good for me to try and open my heart for another animal. Me and my husband weren't ready to open our heart up to another cat yet since just seeing a cat made me almost burst into tears. So we decided to open up our heart to a dog. 3 weeks ago, we adopted a 8 month old puppy (Blond/white German Shepherd mix) that we named Cody from a shelter in Spain. Poor Cody was in he shelter his whole life. He was adopted once, but his owner gave him back again shortly after. So I knew that Cody really needed us and I felt like he was right for our family. When we first saw him at the airport and on the ride home, Cody instantly bonded with us. I think he was waiting for us to find and rescue him. Since Cody lived in a shelter most of his life and it was in the middle of no where, he's absolutely terrified of everything outside including people, sound, and other dogs. But we've been working with him every day and he's slowly getting better. He's also enrolled in some doggy courses so he's getting exposed to more people and dogs. He's already doing a lot better than 3 weeks ago and we love him so much. I never had a dog before, so it's been a new and exciting experience. Having Cody around has helped so much with the pain of losing Mew and I feel like I'm finally starting to heal a little bit. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about Mew or miss him. It's still so difficult, but I'm sure that Mew would be proud of us for rescuing another animal and opening up our hearts again. Mew will always be in my heart and I will always miss him. I also wanted to give a huge thanks to The cat site and everyone here. I joined 5 years ago and I learned so much since then! I really appreciate everyone always being so helpful, supportive, and kind. It was thanks to you guys that I was able to learn that cat food brands like Meow Mix and Whiskas were horrible foods. Everyone was always so patient and took the time to explain everything to me. My knowledge about cat's and cat nutrition has increased so much. Because of all you guys, I was able to give Mew better food and give him the best quality of life possible during his last couple years. Thank you guys so much for everything. The last picture is one of my favorites since it's a picture of Mew when he was younger. He would always steal hair ties and Q-tips. I caught him red handed with a fresh pile of Q-tips in his food bowl and I absolutely love his guilty/caught expression!