Had To Put Cat Down Of Nearly 17 Years, Still At A Loss

[Landonio]

Just 2 days ago I had to put my cat Katie, my best friend, down. It was one of the most difficult and upsetting decisions I've ever had to make. I'm still just beside myself. I've been crying off and on for days now, and I'm not ashamed to say it. Just a wreck. She was a constant in my life for so long and was always there for me. I still just don't even believe it. I loved her so unbelievably much.

I just have questions though. I'm completely new here and came for some potential help and answers. I'm still so confused and wrought with an unbelievable amount of guilt. She always just seemed invincible, and like she would be here forever. And it just happened so fast. It's crazy.

Basically her abdomen had become swollen with fluid, and it was causing her to feel awful. She already had a small heart murmur, and this compounded the stress on her heart. My vet said there was nothing she could do. She said it was probably caused by her thryoid, and that she had hyperthryroidism. The thing is though, she was already on medication. For about 2 weeks we were giving her a pill of Methimazole daily that my previous vet prescribed (in addition to some ear drops because she has really bad allergies and it had spread to her ears for the first time ever). We did stop the pills for the last couple days because we were worried it was giving her some side effects and that she was gaining too much weight, but that ended up just being mostly fluid buildup apparently. So I don't know how much that could have had an effect on her, but regardless she still felt terrible and was not herself.

The first warning sign that something was wrong was around mid to late July. She peed in my bed, which she had never done before. She started peeing more and more away from her litter box. She also started to not eat as much and lost weight, and developed the bad allergies on her head and ears. She became really lethargic and just seemed depressed and sick. We thought it was just a UTI or something, combined with her allergies. We took her to the vet in early August. They described her heart as a "little erratic" (which honestly she always has when she goes to the vet because she hates them), and said they were afraid to run a lot of tests or give her her yearly shots or a steroid shot or anything. Honestly they barely did anything, and charged me a fortune for it, which is one of the reasons I'm annoyed and frustrated with them. They just gave me some medication (ear drops, Methimazole, and Clavamox), and were like hey, try these. As well as some different food (Royal Canin), all of which they made additional charges for. I wasn't happy, but I did what they told me to. They never mentioned anything about her abdomen potentially filling up with fluid, or really anything to look out for going forward. They just said monitor her for a couple weeks and bring her back if there's no improvement.

The ear drops worked, as gross and greasy as they were. Her allergies cleared up, which also was helped by giving her new food. We switched from dry chicken to wet fish and rabbit, which she loved. She was finally eating a lot. She also was using her litter box more, but still occasionally peeing on towels and soft things. She remained lethargic though, and ended up developing the bloated abdomen. I finally ended up taking her on Monday to the vet (a new one this time, because I literally could not afford my old one anymore), and they did x-rays and some tests and determined that she wasn't going to make it, and it was likely due to her thyroid. The next day we put her down. It just happened so fast.

I'm just so confused because we were giving her the medicine we were told to, but it apparently didn't seem to work. The vet didn't say anything about changing the dosage or to watch out for a big belly or anything like that. Also, we just took her last November to get her all updated on shots and vaccines and tested for anything (a 500+ dollar affair mind you), and she was perfectly fine. No mention of her thyroid whatsoever. They did mention the heart murmur, but said that I shouldn't worry too much about it and to just keep an eye on her. She was better than ever for months. Up until about July when she started exhibiting the abnormal behavior with the peeing and lethargy, as well as allergic outbreak.

I just don't understand how my old vet didn't catch it. Two visits. First visit, no mention of her thyroid or a warning about how it's really common and potentially fatal in older cats (which I never knew until recently). Second visit, said it COULD be her thryoid. Gave me medicine, which didn't seem to work. Even though her appetite and allergies improved, she got WORSE after the visit, and developed the big belly. Which spurred me to seek the other vet and another opinion. And one day later, gone. I'm still kind of in shock.

Apologies for the novel. I'm just so hurt and upset and guilty about this entire thing. I feel almost responsible, and it's such a horrible feeling. She was so great and did not deserve to suffer in her final days. That's what hurts me the most. I just needed to get this out to someone and ask for some other insight and opinions, or potentially how to avoid something like this in the future. My sister has 3 kittens right now, and I don't want her to go through something like this again (at least not anytime soon, if we can help it). She loved Katie just as much as I did. Also, when I'm ready, I'll eventually probably get another cat. And I want her to be as healthy as she can possibly be. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

 

[denice]

I have not dealt with thyroid issues so I cannot offer any experiences there.

I have had to make that fateful decision for beloved cats. Try not to second guess yourself or blame yourself. You loved and cared for her. You did everything for her and when things got to difficult for her you released her from her broken body. That is the one last gift that many of us have given a beloved pet. It is difficult but it is a selfless gift.

 

[Megsnan]

I’m sorry for your loss. These things always happen so quickly with cats because they hide their pain so well. I doubt there was anything you or your vet could have done differently and at almost 17yrs old these things just happen. Once you saw her pain and realized there was nothing that could be done, you made the right call for her. It’s devastating but it sounds like she had a really great life and a really great owner.

 

[Margret]

Welcome to The Cat Site. I'm sorry it was a tragedy that brought you here, but I'm very glad that when the tragedy happened you were able to find us, since this is the best (and largest) community of cat lovers on the internet, and we're very supportive.

I'm very sorry for your loss; most of us have been through something similar, and all of us know that we will go through that one of these days. It's the worst part of loving cats.

Please see this thread: Grieving. You may find it helpful.

Feelings of guilt are perfectly normal after making this kind of decision, but please be aware that they're just feelings. Your feelings are always important, and must be acknowledged, but they aren't always an accurate assessment of reality. The truth is that you did the very best thing you could for Katie, at great personal cost, and the sooner you can accept that truth the better.

As for why this happened, well, that's another reality that we have to accept - a 17 year old cat is extremely elderly. Some diseases, in all creatures, can be managed but not cured, and even management doesn't prevent them from doing at least some damage, and that damage becomes cumulative over time. Katie was already fragile because of her age; add in a long illness (even though you were doing a good job of managing it) and it proved to be too much for her. The important thing is that she was loved, and she knew it. Most cats never have that, but you gave that to Katie, and she loved you for it. Even in death, she knew she was loved. Hold that to your heart. Eventually you will find comfort in it.

And now that you're a member of this community, please remember that you can come here any time you need a shoulder to cry on, for as long as you need shoulders to cry on.



Rest in peace, sweet Katie. You were and are beloved, and you will always be remembered.

Margret

 

[chris gadbois]

In my lifetime I've had to put down 4 of my cat friends. They all break your heart, but as much as it is hard on you.....it is the greatest kindness you can extend to your friend.

I always say that it's unfair that a turtle lives to be 150 or a salamander gets to be 75, but a dog or cat you only get a good dozen years out of them.

17 sounds like a good long life. Don't be so hard on yourself. Now you know that you always have this forum for questions with regards to your cats health moving forward.

Right now there is an adult cat (or better yet, two) that have been sitting in a shelter for far too long. They are scared and afraid and in need of a good loving home. They will never replace your lost cat, but in the end they just may save you as much as you are saving them.

*****************
Here is a picture of one of my two girls, Onyx. I took the most scared cat in the shelter and turned her around with love. In return, she helped me get over putting down my boy Phoenix who had kidney disease.

 

[duckpond]

I just wanted to say that i am so sorry for the loss of your Katie! Its always too soon, and it always hurts. Sending you hugs!