Hi Everyone, this is my first post here and I’m kind of here out of desperation. I just need to hear from people who share the love of their cats as much as I do. I’m currently grieving the loss of my cat Loki, he is an indoor/outdoor cat who didn’t come home earlier this week. I found out a day after he was missing that a neighbor saw him get killed by two coyotes in her back yard. I am completely devastated and feel entirely responsible for his death. He had injured his leg last week and I was keeping him in for a week or so to heal up, he snuck out my back door late Tuesday afternoon but I didn’t bother to chase him as I figured he’d be back soon enough and I could take him in. I saw him a couple of hours later around 7:30 pm perched on my fence, I walked over and petted him, he was so happy and seemed to be walking normally so I let him stay out. Huge mistake. Loki didn’t come home later that night which was out of character fir him, I couldn’t sleep and walked throughout the neighborhood a couple of times looking for him. I went home and ended up falling asleep remembering that sometimes he didn’t come home at night but would show up in the early morning, but he never showed up. I was a wreck all day waiting for him to stroll into the house like nothing ever happeened but he never did. Later that afternoon I posted missing cat signs around the neighborhood in hopes that someone had taken him in their home thinking he was a stray. I walked the neighborhood for hours that night looking for him to no avail, on my final walkthrough I happened to see two coyotes running on a street not far from my house, in my heart I knew they had to have killed him. I went home crying my eyes out with the sickest feeling in my gut. I couldn’t sleep, just tossed and turned all night. Around 7:30 a.m. I got a call from a woman who lives on the street behind me saying she heard a loud screech in her yard two nights ago (when Loki was missing) and looked out her window to see my cat limp in one of the coyotes mouth, she and her husband scared them off from the window, they dropped Loki, he twitched and let out his final breath. They went out in th yard to move his body but when they got outside he was gone. They suspect the coyotes came back and took him. Loki would be turning 1 year old next week, I got him 6 months ago and he was the best thing that ever happened to me. I’ve struggle a lot over the past couple of years with mental health and depression, my 3 dogs and my other cat Luna have always been so helpful with this but getting Loki really pulled me out of it like nothing else before. He was the most loving, kind, and caring cat. He slept in my bed every night, purred constantly, and was just so happy and content with his life. I knew the dangers of the out doors but I guess I was just ignorant to think my cats would be safe. It has been 3 days now since I got the call, I cry all day everyday, I don’t want to move on with my life without him, my family has been surrounding me constantly to try and help but they just can’t understand how strong our bind was. I can’t help but to keep thinking that had I just grabbed him off the fence earlier that night he would be next to me right now purring making me smile. I miss him so much, I can’t see my life without him nor do I want to. I have lost pets before but I have never experienced anything like this. Has anyone been through something similar? Can you offer any advice? I’m surrounded by people constantly yet I still feel alone in this.