You can read more about my kitty's circumstances in this topic.
In short, my 14-year-old kitty Caspurr has been just in a steady decline for the last couple of weeks. I come home from a class trip and she's just not herself. Skip ahead and she is found to have a lung tumor, an esophageal tumor, and an esophageal stricture. For a while, I was hopeful - after all, she was still cleaning herself and walking around, meowing...doing cat stuff. She's been given all kinds of tests and recently had an endoscopy as well as a feeding tube inserted.
It was after this surgery that she seems to have taken a turn for the worse, developing a fever and just being generally sluggish. This is apparently strange for animals with feeding tubes because normally they perk up, but the vet feels the fever may be due to cancer and not any infection. Especially since her fever has managed to go up a whole degree in about 5 hours despite antibiotic treatment.
I was asked to consider euthanasia for her just because she's in worse shape than was originally thought and there is really no getting better from what she has. To be honest, while this is terribly upsetting to me, I am agonizing more over putting her through all these tests trying to help her. It breaks my heart knowing what will most likely be her last couple weeks of life will have been filled mostly with getting poked and prodded and being kept in kennels around strangers.
I don't think she's at death's door, but the fact that putting Caspurr to sleep was even suggested leads me to believe it must be pretty bad. I don't want my poor baby to suffer at all, but at the very least, I'm hoping to be able to see her one more time so I can tell her I love her and snuggle her.
For those who have had their dear companions put down, can I ask this: Would I be a horrible pet owner if I was not in the room if/when my kitty is put down? I don't think I would be able to handle seeing her die in my arms. Or should I try my best to be strong for her so she isn't all alone when she leaves me? I've never had to have a cat put down before - just about every other cat I've had has passed away on their own.
Due to her esophageal problems, I can't even let her have some of her favorite treats before she goes. It truly is a cruel fate for a cat that absolutely loves to eat to be stricken with, of all things, such a rare condition that would rob her of her ability to do something she likes so much.
I only wish there was some way to explain to my Caspurr why she's been getting all these tests and why I've been leaving her with strangers. I wish I could somehow tell her I was trying to do what I thought was best for her, and I worry now that maybe I was trying to keep her alive for my own selfish reasons rather than what was best for her. I just want to tell her I love her again. I hope I am at least given that much.
In short, my 14-year-old kitty Caspurr has been just in a steady decline for the last couple of weeks. I come home from a class trip and she's just not herself. Skip ahead and she is found to have a lung tumor, an esophageal tumor, and an esophageal stricture. For a while, I was hopeful - after all, she was still cleaning herself and walking around, meowing...doing cat stuff. She's been given all kinds of tests and recently had an endoscopy as well as a feeding tube inserted.
It was after this surgery that she seems to have taken a turn for the worse, developing a fever and just being generally sluggish. This is apparently strange for animals with feeding tubes because normally they perk up, but the vet feels the fever may be due to cancer and not any infection. Especially since her fever has managed to go up a whole degree in about 5 hours despite antibiotic treatment.
I was asked to consider euthanasia for her just because she's in worse shape than was originally thought and there is really no getting better from what she has. To be honest, while this is terribly upsetting to me, I am agonizing more over putting her through all these tests trying to help her. It breaks my heart knowing what will most likely be her last couple weeks of life will have been filled mostly with getting poked and prodded and being kept in kennels around strangers.
I don't think she's at death's door, but the fact that putting Caspurr to sleep was even suggested leads me to believe it must be pretty bad. I don't want my poor baby to suffer at all, but at the very least, I'm hoping to be able to see her one more time so I can tell her I love her and snuggle her.
For those who have had their dear companions put down, can I ask this: Would I be a horrible pet owner if I was not in the room if/when my kitty is put down? I don't think I would be able to handle seeing her die in my arms. Or should I try my best to be strong for her so she isn't all alone when she leaves me? I've never had to have a cat put down before - just about every other cat I've had has passed away on their own.
Due to her esophageal problems, I can't even let her have some of her favorite treats before she goes. It truly is a cruel fate for a cat that absolutely loves to eat to be stricken with, of all things, such a rare condition that would rob her of her ability to do something she likes so much.
I only wish there was some way to explain to my Caspurr why she's been getting all these tests and why I've been leaving her with strangers. I wish I could somehow tell her I was trying to do what I thought was best for her, and I worry now that maybe I was trying to keep her alive for my own selfish reasons rather than what was best for her. I just want to tell her I love her again. I hope I am at least given that much.