Gidget and Fiona (the relationship between my daughter and kitten)

[izzybees]

I'm still not sure if this is the right place to be posting this, but here it goes.
I have an almost three year old daughter (very hyper, determined, and doesn't always listen when you tell her "NO"). We got Gidget just last week (only issue we've had so far is the litter box).

My daughter adores the kitten and she likes to pick her up and carry her or "squeeze" her at times. Now she's been around dogs and one other cat since birth, but they're all older and bigger. She's never been around another animal this small and I'm worried she might hurt her.

She has picked up and carried around her Grandmother's Manx Bobby who is obviously older and much bigger than Gidget (and he would let her do it too to our amazement). My biggest concern is her habbit of picking up the kitten by the neck. Now I NEVER leave both alone in a room together, but once she gets a grip it's sometimes hard to get her to let go. I don't know what to do. I've tried showing her the proper way to hold and pet the kitten, but she'll either just ignore you or throw a tantrum.

They do have their moments. With all that Fiona has done so far Gidget has no fear of her. And they have played nicely together. I just don't know what steps I should take when she decides to grab and/or pick her up.

I'm sorry this is quite long, but I wanted to make sure I left nothing out.

Another thing I should note is that my daughter has some developmental issues where she sees two therapists about every week (one for speech and the other for physical development). I haven't had a chance to talk to either of them about all this just yet.

 

[p3 and the king]

I would try to discourage her from picking up the kitten until the kitten is older and bigger and stronger.  A toddler can unknowingly hurt a kitten.  It has been my experience that toddlers and kittens usually don't mix too well.  There are exceptions.  But for the time being, I would limit the interaction of the kitten and toddler as much as possible.  When the kitten is a few months old and more able to defend itself or run away... Then it is better.  Please do NOT declaw the kitten.  It not only takes away her only defense but it can damage her physically... Declawing is something people do to cats when they have precotious toddlers.  Best of luck.  Like I said, there are exceptions to this and I hope your daughter can prove to be one.  But for now, not only for the kittens well being but for your daughters and yours sanity, I would limit interaction as much as possible. 

 

[izzybees]

She does for the most part ignore the kitten and I do try to keep it where she can interact with Gidget, but only while I'm holding her and it's strictly petting. She's a sweet kid who means well, but I geuss I'll have to try harder to ensure both their safety.
I am also against declawing. I'd rather injure myself with trimming claws or invest in buying some Soft Paws, but I absolutely see no benificial reason to have any cat declawed.

I find it funny that her father was going on about how our first family pet was going to be fish (he was looking at tanks and everything), and he instead comes home one night with a kitten! She has proven to be a better stress relief for me than fish ever will be. And I've owned fish before they're up there with birds on the annoyance scale due to the sound of their filter (and they keep dying on me).

 

[p3 and the king]

Well that is good. It seems you have a realistic view of what your daughter could do, unwittingly and not meaning to, to the kitten.  Most parents get a kitten or a puppy thinking "Oh, they'll grow up together and be best friends."  But the child gets bit or scratched because the child hurt the furbaby, and it's automatically the furbabies fault.  This is the tragedy.  They take out teeth and claws and leave it defenseless.  Never teaching the child the proper ways of handling or enjoying their new friend.  You are, this is outstanding!!  Just keep doing what you're doing.   When your daughter is interested say something like "Like this, see" and pet the kitten softly.  And when the kitten is bigger, you can show her how to properly hold her... Sitting down without confining the kitten. 

Maybe to build up trusts and establish a connection between the two, you could have her help feed and water the kitten?  That helps a lot!!  Kids love being able to help take care of the new family member.  It not only makes them feel needed but it also makes them feel included and like a big kid.