Getting a Tonkinese kitten this week!

[mona kloos]

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Hello out there!   I finally found something to talk about, since I wanted to be on the Christmas card exchange last year, but hadn’t posted enough.   I was in too much pain to post, but things are changing.

As some of you might remember, I grieved for the loss of my precious Chirble - who I rescued from the Humane Society in 1998 – for months and months.     I think that only now I am recovering from it and it’s been well over a year.   Chirble died in January 2013.

Due to my family’s insistence, we bought a Burmese kitten in May of 2013.   We couldn’t go to the Humane Society, because we still had (and have) Twinkie.    She’s a 14 pound cat that sheds more than any cat I have had, and I have had lots! of cats.   We had to get a low-shedding cat, and some internet sources recommended Tonkinese or Burmese.

Anyway, our Missy (the Burmese) did bond more thoroughly with me than with anyone else in the family, and I am not sure why because my heart was so full of pain for Chirble that it was hard to let a new cat in.   But she was so tiny (even now only weighs five and one-half pounds) that I felt I needed to carry her with me most of the time.    Missy loves to be hugged.    As Missy got older, she tried to play with Twinkie, but Twinkie still hisses and growls, so Missy finally matured to the point that she spends too much time in the bedroom and when I bring her out, she looks around nervously all the time.

So, I decided we needed to get a friend for Missy and it had to be another small cat that did not shed a lot.    During the last two months, I, at long last, thoroughly love Missy and I couldn’t let her live her life on the bedroom.

So, we are getting a Tonkinese on Thursday!    I am so excited.   Missy has never hissed once in the whole time we’ve had her, that I do not know if she will hiss at the newbie, or love it to pieces from the beginning.    I can’t wait to see!    And I am so happy that Missy will have a friend other than just me.  I know that Tonkinese cats are very human oriented, like Missy, and I am a little nervous that those two kitties won’t bond to each other.

So, a question to ask of you guys is what are some of your favorite names for cats.   We are very open to suggestions.   

And, any words of wisdom about whether these people oriented cats can bond with other cats.   I bet they can.   Missy, when she does come out, really wants to play with Twinkie, but Twinkie is such a total grouch.   I am so helping she gets to play with the kitten.

This is either going to be a blessing or a giant disaster where we have to keep all three cats isolated from each other!

So, I have rambled and rambled.    Any comments out there?

Please write me if you can get information to me fast..

Thanks so much!   Mona

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[mservant]

Hi there.  Nice to see you out and about on site and all excited about adding to your fur family.  I can remember my feelings when I was getting cats, and also the look of exasperation and instant look of fear on others faces when they saw me coming and thought I was going to talk cat at them again! 

  Everyone had to tollerate 3 months of Mouse chat before I even brought him home.....  bad! 

  I'll be looking out for photos and stories as soon as you getr her, though of course you may be too busy playing  - or keeping them apart from each other! 

I understand your anxieties as I have thoughts about getting company for Mouse and would love another cat but really worry about the effect it would have on him.  Hard as you can never tell unless you actually go through with it.  Honestly, listening to your tale of Missy it does sound like she wants a little fur friend of similar size and energy, so fingers crossed that the two of them click well together.

Do you plan to do a phased introduction to ensure that your newcomer is well and get them both used to each other's smell and sounds before supervised contact?  I know I'd be really impatient to see how my cats got on but the advice on this site does sound very sensible and from other threads sounds like it makes a huge difference to how well things go between the cats.

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

I don't know about you but I always find it easier thinking about names for a cat once I know a little about them and what they look like?

 

[mona kloos]

Hi, and thanks  for concern about my kitty, Missy, and how she may react to having another cat.    Honestly, we feel this is the best thing we can do for her in the long run.   She wants play with Twinkie (the grouch) so much and Missy makes sure she knows that Twinkie has dominance.    Still, no go.

So we are getting this new kitty for Missy and I expect that ultimately it will be better.     If I didn't have a companion for Missy,

I would never go on a vacation my family and leave Missy alone.   We left for three days over Christmas, and Missy practically did not eat the whole time.

So...we expect positive things for MIssy.    My real concern though, is that Tonkinese kitties love human contact like Burmese's do, and how can I pamper them both.     I have some ideas, but that is really my only concern.    Well, maybe not my only concern.

I am also concerned that the kittiens might like each other so much, that they don't care about their humans. :-)

Hope this gets posted.   I am having a hard time understanding this site, but it seems to be fun once you get the knack.

Mona

 

[mservant]

Posted and read. 

When I had 2 cats they would play like crazy with each other and snuggle up together and sleep, but they also played with me and snuggled up with me, and slept on my bed (which is where I wanted them to sleep) so I never felt neglected.  The older they got they spent less time playing together and more sime snoozing close to me and mooching for food. 

I think cats that need a lot of human company do usually respond well to other cats, it helps absorb some of the seperation anxiety they can suffer from when you go out, and if they have not had you to themselves too long before it can reduce some of that over dependence that can me problematic.  It really depends on the individual cats and how you introduce them.

I look forward to hearing how things go later this week, and perhaps see some photos of them both (though maybe not together for a little while).

 

[mona kloos]

Thank you for saying that.    I really didn't like people telling me this would be too hard on Missy - when Missy is the cat I am doing this for!

Mona

 

[mona kloos]

Hi everyone,

I am not sure if we are doing the right thing here.   If you have seen what I have posted, you know that we got a new Tonkinese kitten, for our Burmese, because

the Burmese (Missy) seemed to want to play with our older - unfriendly, cat - Twinkie

Well so far it's a disaster!    New cat came home Thursday, and Missy is Phissed!   Literally.  The first night, she still slept under the covers with me, but as she was climbing in the bed hissing and growling the whole day.    New kitten has the run of the house, with Twinkie behind closed doors - which is not something she minds at all.  She has the full room of two rooms and the basement when she is behind closed doors.

We thought we were making progress yesterday when Missy showed interest in how the new kitten (Cocoa) was playing.   And after we decided Missy was getting upset, we took her to her bedroom.    She came out partially to see what the kitten was doing.

But later last night we went rabid again and she slept on the top shelf of the closet.   We finally have her out of there, but she's not doing a whole lot better and I am getting concerned.

We went through a similar spell with Twinkie after we got Missy, but after months she finally accepted Missy, though she does not want to play much.  And since MIssy was chasing her because of how badly she wanted to play, we got Cocoa.   So like I said, after months things became tolerable. 

But seriously are we going to go through months of this again?!     We got the kitten to be a pal for Missy, and we did it now, while Missy is quite young, so that we were not going to have to introduce Missy to a new kitten when Twinkie died, and we would have decided to try a kitten later.   So we thought we were doing the best thing, but it's failing miserably.

Any tips?   Should we send Cocoa back to the person we bought her from?

Thanks,

Mona

 

[mservant]

Sorry to hear how things have gone so far.  Have you been trying the introductory phases and techniques suggested in the Articles here on TCS?  You can follow your own cats' leads in terms of how long you do things for but the longer you do it I believe the greater the chances of success and not having to go back to the beginning again.  Here's the link:

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

 

[mona kloos]

Thanks to everyone who wanted to help, and I really do appreciate it because when we got our second cat, or first one never got over it entirely.   Never, ever.   But she is of a breed that  tends to be lazy and obese, so the playing with another cat just wasn't what she wanted.    And we love her (Twinkie) all the more because she is so fat that she is adorable.   And she's not even the type to go after a tuna treat.   She just doesn't do anything!

In fact,  when she saw Cocoa for the first time, she hissed, but she remaining laying down like a slug (excuse me, but I am in Oregon - where slugs love to be!).     Wasn't even worth her effort to sit up.

But last night, when my husband and I went to bed, I said that I really hated to lock the new one up in the one bedroom, so we let her have the run of the house.    I think that Missy and she had shown some new tolerance of each other, but I don't really know exactly what drove me to say that to hubby.   I guess it's just that Cocoa cries out so mournfully when left alone.   So  Cocoa  (who I call The Lion King because she looks like a baby lion) slept at the bottom of the bed, and Missy slept between our heads.    And this morning the two of them started playing with each other on the cat structure we bought when we got Missy.   Missy is loving it!!   She is so cute, even cuter than the kitten, IMHO.   (But then I really, really love Missy shamelessly!)

Next question, how do I get over this guilty feeling about how much I love Missy?   I used to say that no other cat could ever fill Chirble's shoes, and Chirble was such a special cat that it's partly true, but Missy is becoming extremely dear  to me.    I know we are supposed to love many people and animals in our lives, but Chirble was such an important cat in my life.   More important than any other cat has ever been.  She went through so much with me.   But who knows what Missy will go though with me.   We have only had her for eleven months!

And on a different "thread" that someone might be interested in starting.

What do you guys think of the idea of this cat heaven where when the owner dies, the owner's cat (in heaven) knows and reunites with it's owner.   I know that is supposed to be comforting, but to me it's not.    If it was

true, I'd have twenty heavenly cats waiting for me to die, and  I sure couldn't be with them all!

I feel like it's just one of those things people say to you to make you feel better, but I am such a realist that it only annoys me.    (and I probably won't go to heaven anyway.  :-)   

You guys have probably been discussing this stuff for years, and I hate to dredge up something new, but if it is a new topic, I'd love to see opinions.    (Unless it's too sinful to even talk about it.)

So everyone, situation seems to be overcome and we are enjoying it.  

Our Twinkie seems no worse for the wear either.    As I said, she hated it when we got Missy, but I can just see her saying now,  "Who knows what these humans are going to do next, or how many more cats they'll bring home.   They certainly don't pay attention to MY opinion.   :-) 

And feel free to help me out, if a new thread is started because I am afraid I won't see it.

Mona (mother of Twinkie, Missy, and Cocoa, the "Lion King".

 

[mservant]

   

     

    Love your news! 

   So so happy they are bed buddies with you and playing together already.  Be prepared for scraps, because they always happen just like kids playing, but this sounds like such a great start.  I am sure that in the middle of Twinkie's fluffy fur there is the sound of huge sighs of relief that Missy has a new playmate and she is no longer of interest.  I hope this is just the beginning of a very happy fur family home.

I can share in your struggles with the concept of Rainbow Bridge, but I can also see how many others do believe in this concept, and how many are deeply spiritual and or religious and how much this helps them.  All are free to express their views on the site but must also respect others. It is worth taking time in the Crossing the Bridge forum as there are beautiful posts from people with a vast range of beliefs, all able to support each other in different ways regardless of their beliefs: one post which expressed many things I had thought and felt was this one - which I hope helps you with some of the things you are working through right now:  

http://www.thecatsite.com/t/261136/build-a-home-in-your-heart

I don't think Gareth has been on the site for a while so I like to think he is too busy playing with his cats now.

 

[mona kloos]

Hi to everyone and thanks for all of your comments.   I appreciate hearing from others.

Kitties are doing better and better.    Missy is only 15 months old and the kitten is four months old, but my how the maturity of Missy shows!

She is much more patient and cautious  than the kitten.   

I must say, the little Tonkinese doesn't seem real fond of me.     Most cats do like me, so I am a bit surprised, but she is not near as affectionate as Missy was/is.

I actually got some quality time with Missy today!

In some ways that is only fair.   I have Missy, my son has the grouchy, obese Twinkie (who we all love) and my husband hasn't really had his own cat, so maybe

the Tonkinese will bond with him the most.   That's what I was hoping for before we got her, but now I am childishly jealous that she doesn't like me!

Thanks to all!

Mona

 

[mservant]

It sounds like your fur family are going in to their settling in phase and will work out where they are with each other and each of you over coming days and months.  Please don't think your new kitten doesn't like you, it is far more likely that they are working out their relationships with each other as well as their resident humans, and your newbie will still be anxious about being in a new home as well as being the smallest there.

I look forward to seeing lots more posts from you as things progress, and some photos of them all.