Gender questions; who gets along best with whom?

[Dario the GreyCat]

My boyfriend and I are talking about adding a second cat to the mix in a year or so as where we are currently really isn't big enough. We talked about gender too and he had read that cats of differing genders get along better than cats of the same. All cats in question would be fixed, of course, but it was a curious question.

What are other people's experiences? I'd assume it depends on the cat, Dario gets along with his outside cat friends of both genders. In fact, the male cat, Merlin, gets along with him better than the other two cats which are female. I'd assumed this was more personality based than gendered and obviously the second cat would be more determined by personality but it was an interesting question on a covid-19 rainy day.

Do boys get along better with other boys or girls? (Pictures are loved!)

 

[Willowy]

Neutered males tend to get along with other neutered males or females. But females can be territorial and tend to accept neutered males more readily, at least in my experience.

But, yeah, personality is the most important thing.

 

[Dario the GreyCat]

Thank you! We’d been talking about it and were curious about other people’s experiences.

 

[Kieka]

Personality is the biggest part of it.

But.... I have never been able to add a female without some sort of problem. I currently have tow males and a female. The males are fine, not super buddies but they get along. The female is the youngest added when the boys were 1 and 2, she is a brat. The boys love her, don't get me wrong, but she will change moods so often they can't keep up. She's a demanding little one and super bossy with the boys. But sometimes she just wants her brothers and is super lovey. I swear she is bipolar or has some mental something going on.

Don't get me wrong. I love her and don't regret getting her. But all three females I have had just have more issues with other cats around them. The boys seem to integrate a little better and tolerate. Keep in mind this is based on my own limited experience with just three females to six males in my lifetime.

 

[Dario the GreyCat]

Personality is the biggest part of it.

But.... I have never been able to add a female without some sort of problem. I currently have tow males and a female. The males are fine, not super buddies but they get along. The female is the youngest added when the boys were 1 and 2, she is a brat. The boys love her, don't get me wrong, but she will change moods so often they can't keep up. She's a demanding little one and super bossy with the boys. But sometimes she just wants her brothers and is super lovey. I swear she is bipolar or has some mental something going on.

Don't get me wrong. I love her and don't regret getting her. But all three females I have had just have more issues with other cats around them. The boys seem to integrate a little better and tolerate. Keep in mind this is based on my own limited experience with just three females to six males in my lifetime.

That’s my experience with keeping cats but I also have a limited experience. Four females and three males.
Thank you for your input!

 

[NY cat man]

We have two males and four females, all former ferals and all neutered. The males get along just fine with each other, and Burdock's favorite cuddle partner is one of the females. The females get along with each other, for the most part, but yes, they tend to be more territorial than the males. I do agree, though, that personality is the major factor here, and we have been lucky in that regard, as with but one exception, ours tend to be very laid back. Your results may vary.

 

[NY cat man]

Okay. Pictures you want, then pictures you shall have. First are the 2 males, Stretch and Burdock

Next is Burdock and Bashful

Next is Burdock and Digger- another female

And finally is Digger and Stretch

 

[Dario the GreyCat]

Okay. Pictures you want, then pictures you shall have. First are the 2 males, Stretch and BurdockView attachment 329942Next is Burdock and BashfulView attachment 329943Next is Burdock and Digger- another femaleView attachment 329944And finally is Digger and StretchView attachment 329945

They’re adorable!! Burdock seems like a lovey guy.

 

[NY cat man]

They’re adorable!! Burdock seems like a lovey guy.

That he is.

 

[sivyaleah]

IDK, personally I think it's just the personality of the cats that is the key factor and perhaps being of similar age too, or at least not kitten/adult age difference for the most part.

Our experience with male bringing in female, both adults (male a very friendly sort overall, was a bit older by 5 years) and then senior adult female (same female as before, very gently cat and now much older) bringing in young female kitten (was only 3 months old at the time) took exactly the same amount of time for each "couple" to acclimate to each other - about 3 months in total although they were ok to be around each other sooner than that. 3 months was when they both became completely relaxed with each other.

While the male/female had a more friendly relationship, and were very play oriented together they also had many years with each other to build upon and the female/female kitten have only been with each other for 7 months - but I see no particular gender based issues between them that I can point to. Now that the younger one is nearly a year old, and as large as the older one (larger, actually - she's a Maine Coon and the other a domestic long hair) they are better matched for play time and are also getting closer in general, sleeping together, etc.

We picked for personality each time, not taking gender into consideration. Figured it would work out regardless, eventually as long as the cat had a nice way about them. Which is what happened.

EDIT: See next post for photo of Cocoabean and Luna, today. Not a great photo, I snapped fast because I didn't want to disturb the adorableness of the scene. Luna is on the left, she's the kitten. I meant to place it here, but I'm tired and didn't pay attention

 

[sivyaleah]

As mentioned, 2 females - getting along quite nicely

 

[syzygycat]

Personality counts more, but pretending all the cats your considering have the samr personality;

Getting them at the same time as kittens, gender doesn't matter
Getting two siblings at any age, gender doesn't matter.

However, generally speaking two unrelated males or two unrelated females may have a particularly hard time sharing space.

Cats of the opposite gender is the least like to have problems. Add a female If you have a male, add a male if you have a female. if you keep adding cats, keep an equal number of each gender. This is the general consensus of cat experts.

I think male kittens adjust faster, for my cure four. My oldest was a female so the 2nd cat was a male, a male kitten adjusts better so cat #3 was a male. i had one female and two males so cat #4 is a male.

For me the theory the females avoid each other, the boys get into fights. But each boy is nice to bith females, both females are nicer to the males. The youngest boy and girl are 6 years apart in age but love each other.

 

[Kieka]

Photos! I missed a reason to attach photos?

Here are all three... boys in the front and the girl im the back.

My girl and boy (yes, the girl is smaller and no she doesn't have any growing to do. I did have a vet tell me she probably would get a little bigger because she's still young. I reminded the vet she was four years old and probably done growing).

My girl and my Moms boy...

The boys. Fury usually ends up patting Links head in play. Link has 5 pounds on Fury but Fury is usually the dominant in tag and chase games.

 

[Dario the GreyCat]

Photos! I missed a reason to attach photos?

Here are all three... boys in the front and the girl im the back.

View attachment 330056

My girl and boy (yes, the girl is smaller and no she doesn't have any growing to do. I did have a vet tell me she probably would get a little bigger because she's still young. I reminded the vet she was four years old and probably done growing).

View attachment 330053View attachment 330054

My girl and my Moms boy...

View attachment 330055
View attachment 330062

The boys. Fury usually ends up patting Links head in play. Link has 5 pounds on Fury but Fury is usually the dominant in tag and chase games.

View attachment 330061

Photos were purely for the enjoyment of seeing other people’s cats. No real other reason.

As mentioned, 2 females - getting along quite nicely

View attachment 329962

Aww!! Very cute!

 

[Kieka]

Photos were purely for the enjoyment of seeing other people’s cats. No real other reason.

Does there need to be a better reason?

 

[SpecterOhPossum]

I've always had more issues with females than males in terms of relationships within the home. Specter is a bottle baby and doesn't appreciate other cats herself and will try to eat them.

 

[Dario the GreyCat]

I've always had more issues with females than males in terms of relationships within the home. Specter is a bottle baby and doesn't appreciate other cats herself and will try to eat them.

Dario was a bottle baby too. I tried to expose him to other cats early and he doesn’t really seem to care either way about them. Had a friend bring over his female kitten and Dario sniffed her but was more excited for the human plaything.

 

[Kittyloverr]

My boyfriend and I are talking about adding a second cat to the mix in a year or so as where we are currently really isn't big enough. We talked about gender too and he had read that cats of differing genders get along better than cats of the same. All cats in question would be fixed, of course, but it was a curious question.

What are other people's experiences? I'd assume it depends on the cat, Dario gets along with his outside cat friends of both genders. In fact, the male cat, Merlin, gets along with him better than the other two cats which are female. I'd assumed this was more personality based than gendered and obviously the second cat would be more determined by personality but it was an interesting question on a covid-19 rainy day.

Do boys get along better with other boys or girls? (Pictures are loved!)

I have a spayed female and a neutrred male. They get along just fine. I think it depends on the cats.

 

[dhammagirl]

While it’s probably more dependent on the personalities of the cats, we’ve had issues with the males more than the females.
Our previous trio was two females and one younger male. He tended to bully the girls.
Our current trio is two males and one female. One male, the newest addition to the family, is four years younger than the other two cats, he was an orphan, he’s extremely territorial and a bully, especially with the other male. He overall has serious behavioral issues. He’s nine years old now.
All our kitties get spayed/neutered. I can’t imagine what a terror he’d be if he were intact!

If we could go back in time, knowing what we know now, we’d adopt another female, and avoid kittens who were orphans as they are more prone to serious behavior issues.

 

[Dario the GreyCat]

While it’s probably more dependent on the personalities of the cats, we’ve had issues with the males more than the females.
Our previous trio was two females and one younger male. He tended to bully the girls.
Our current trio is two males and one female. One male, the newest addition to the family, is four years younger than the other two cats, he was an orphan, he’s extremely territorial and a bully, especially with the other male. He overall has serious behavioral issues. He’s nine years old now.
All our kitties get spayed/neutered. I can’t imagine what a terror he’d be if he were intact!

If we could go back in time, knowing what we know now, we’d adopt another female, and avoid kittens who were orphans as they are more prone to serious behavior issues.

I’ve heard some orphans can have issues, I’d take another orphan in if I was able to raise him/her because I really enjoyed raising Dario. He was a singleton and an orphan. But, my family has cats so I was fortunately able to socialize him with other cats.
And what you bring up is exactly what my partner did, so thank you. It’s interesting to hear everyone’s experiences. Most likely way I would adopt an orphan would be to keep one I foster. I have heard about the issues orphans can have. And Dario is so laid back he’d be pretty easy for another cat to bully.