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- Jun 29, 2013
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To those of you that have followed my often-nonsensiscal ramblings about my cats, we had to put our "Simon" to rest this morning.
Simon was always been a bit of a problem child when it came to his health. Shortly after adopting him, he came down with the first of several Upper Respiratory Infections. We tried to let it run its course, but it progressed to the point of sneezing blood and having difficulty breathing - Less than a week into having him and we were about 90% sure he was going to pass away. Luckily, the antibiotics helped fight off a secondary infection and after a tense week and a half, he recovered. We rapidly learned that, as long as it could be mixed in to his food, he was an easy-to-medicate cat (something that would eventually work out in our favor). He went on L-lysine paste, which we're not sure if it worked or not, but he would remain on it for the rest of his life.
I don't think his digestive system ever really fully recovered from the URI and side-effects of the antibiotics, as he started to have issues with stool afater this. We added in daily doses of miralax and started him on a probiotic, which seemed to fix the issues for the most part. He had never really had what most would call a normal stool, but it was normal for him and after dealing with a megacolon cat, we learned to accept this and adapt medications, as needed.
In September 2020, I spent a week or so away from him; I was still in the house, still visited with him a few times a day, but spent the majority of my day elsewhere (helping someone recover from knee replacement surgery). This seems to be the turning point in Simon's health, both physically and mentally. He began meowing - practically screaming and it was almost constant. His appetite went through the roof - I mean, this cat NEVER filled up, but was super thin at just over 8 pounds (The vet said this was a decent weight for a cat his size, but something about it just never felt right to me). He started showing signs of EXTREME separation anxiety and had random bouts of aggression; During one such incident, I had to physically pry him off of my arm, which I had never had to do before.
Between September and early January 2021, Simon fought off an Upper Respiratory Infection, a bout of Giardia, and a likely bout of worms (this was never confirmed by lab tests, but seeing one wiggling in his stool was all the confirmation my vet and I needed). These were all treated, but his behavior continued to deteriorate. His separation anxiety worsened to the point of harming himself. We tried the suggestions of a behaviorist, put him on kitty Prozac, altered diet and our behaviors - none of it worked. We were at the end of our rope and considering euthanasia then with the vet agreeing that we had tried everything within our means, but couldn't bring ourselves to give up just yet.
Sometime in roughly mid-February or Early March, we had finally managed to reach a weird middle ground that kept Simon relatively calm and happy; It required a lot of sacrifice on everyone's part and I think we knew that it wasn't really feasible to maintain long term, but we were desperate. For a few months, he did AMAZINGLY - stayed calm, ate well, wasn't super sick. A few weeks ago (early May), he had an incident where something scared him (I still don't know what, as I was laying on the bed with him and saw/heard nothing). He flung himself off of the bed and into the wall before scurrying away into the corner of my room, clearly scared. The anxiety had been building up in him again for awhile, but I had been hopeful that it was nothing to worry about; I wish I had known then that this was a prelude to the end.
The very end of May, he woke up from one of his naps and his entire behavior had reverted back - He was scared of everything, every little noise activated his fight-or-flight instincts and would wake him up out of a dead sleep. He went back to screaming and constant meowing. The only time he had ever truly been peaceful was when he was asleep, but now even that was disturbed as he began having nightmares. His appetite shot up - going from being content with two cans of wet food a day (Hills c/d for FLUTD issues) to easily being able to put away four cans or more, so off to the vet we went again.
This time, we knew our limits and his - We had discussed prior to the visit that it wasn't fair to force Simon to continue living in fear of every little thing. If the vet wasn't able to find a medical reason for his onset of symptoms (as in hyperthyroidism or something like that), we were going to let Simon go peacefully.
The vet didn't find anything.
I still find myself wondering with a lot of "What ifs" - What if we gave up too soon? What if just one more test would have found an issue? What if he just needed a different environment? What if - What if - What if?
The reality is that I loved Simon and likely always will - Dude was a CHARACTER - but the way things were going weren't fair to either of us. When I stopped and thought about it, I realized that the way I had been living to keep him going was merely existing to get him through the day - not actually really LIVING; The same being said for him - Living most of your days in a crate, constantly hungry (despite being fed regularly) and afraid? That's not living - and the likelihood of finding an environment that could have catered to his unique needs while not causing him an even bigger amount of anxiety from being separated from the only family he'd ever known? Slim to none.
I just hope that wherever he is, he's got all of the noms his little belly can handle and that he's no longer afraid.
Simon was always been a bit of a problem child when it came to his health. Shortly after adopting him, he came down with the first of several Upper Respiratory Infections. We tried to let it run its course, but it progressed to the point of sneezing blood and having difficulty breathing - Less than a week into having him and we were about 90% sure he was going to pass away. Luckily, the antibiotics helped fight off a secondary infection and after a tense week and a half, he recovered. We rapidly learned that, as long as it could be mixed in to his food, he was an easy-to-medicate cat (something that would eventually work out in our favor). He went on L-lysine paste, which we're not sure if it worked or not, but he would remain on it for the rest of his life.
I don't think his digestive system ever really fully recovered from the URI and side-effects of the antibiotics, as he started to have issues with stool afater this. We added in daily doses of miralax and started him on a probiotic, which seemed to fix the issues for the most part. He had never really had what most would call a normal stool, but it was normal for him and after dealing with a megacolon cat, we learned to accept this and adapt medications, as needed.
In September 2020, I spent a week or so away from him; I was still in the house, still visited with him a few times a day, but spent the majority of my day elsewhere (helping someone recover from knee replacement surgery). This seems to be the turning point in Simon's health, both physically and mentally. He began meowing - practically screaming and it was almost constant. His appetite went through the roof - I mean, this cat NEVER filled up, but was super thin at just over 8 pounds (The vet said this was a decent weight for a cat his size, but something about it just never felt right to me). He started showing signs of EXTREME separation anxiety and had random bouts of aggression; During one such incident, I had to physically pry him off of my arm, which I had never had to do before.
Between September and early January 2021, Simon fought off an Upper Respiratory Infection, a bout of Giardia, and a likely bout of worms (this was never confirmed by lab tests, but seeing one wiggling in his stool was all the confirmation my vet and I needed). These were all treated, but his behavior continued to deteriorate. His separation anxiety worsened to the point of harming himself. We tried the suggestions of a behaviorist, put him on kitty Prozac, altered diet and our behaviors - none of it worked. We were at the end of our rope and considering euthanasia then with the vet agreeing that we had tried everything within our means, but couldn't bring ourselves to give up just yet.
Sometime in roughly mid-February or Early March, we had finally managed to reach a weird middle ground that kept Simon relatively calm and happy; It required a lot of sacrifice on everyone's part and I think we knew that it wasn't really feasible to maintain long term, but we were desperate. For a few months, he did AMAZINGLY - stayed calm, ate well, wasn't super sick. A few weeks ago (early May), he had an incident where something scared him (I still don't know what, as I was laying on the bed with him and saw/heard nothing). He flung himself off of the bed and into the wall before scurrying away into the corner of my room, clearly scared. The anxiety had been building up in him again for awhile, but I had been hopeful that it was nothing to worry about; I wish I had known then that this was a prelude to the end.
The very end of May, he woke up from one of his naps and his entire behavior had reverted back - He was scared of everything, every little noise activated his fight-or-flight instincts and would wake him up out of a dead sleep. He went back to screaming and constant meowing. The only time he had ever truly been peaceful was when he was asleep, but now even that was disturbed as he began having nightmares. His appetite shot up - going from being content with two cans of wet food a day (Hills c/d for FLUTD issues) to easily being able to put away four cans or more, so off to the vet we went again.
This time, we knew our limits and his - We had discussed prior to the visit that it wasn't fair to force Simon to continue living in fear of every little thing. If the vet wasn't able to find a medical reason for his onset of symptoms (as in hyperthyroidism or something like that), we were going to let Simon go peacefully.
The vet didn't find anything.
I still find myself wondering with a lot of "What ifs" - What if we gave up too soon? What if just one more test would have found an issue? What if he just needed a different environment? What if - What if - What if?
The reality is that I loved Simon and likely always will - Dude was a CHARACTER - but the way things were going weren't fair to either of us. When I stopped and thought about it, I realized that the way I had been living to keep him going was merely existing to get him through the day - not actually really LIVING; The same being said for him - Living most of your days in a crate, constantly hungry (despite being fed regularly) and afraid? That's not living - and the likelihood of finding an environment that could have catered to his unique needs while not causing him an even bigger amount of anxiety from being separated from the only family he'd ever known? Slim to none.
I just hope that wherever he is, he's got all of the noms his little belly can handle and that he's no longer afraid.
