Fleaso (the blind 5 year old) v Bob (the playful 1 year old) - progress report

[JimmyL]

Hi all

Many people offered me great advice on introducing our two cats. I am particularly grateful tp Elphaba09 and A ArtNJ

I have just put up a sturdy cat gate between the two in our flat. We have had it in place for 2 days. That should help.

We are trying to get Fleaso into good behaviour, but this is proving tricky. When she is separated from Bob, and he gets near the cat gate or window, where they are almost nose to nose, she hisses and, if he hangs around, retreats. She is (currently) always the aggressor. But she is curious enough to come close in the first place. Trying to distract her with clicking and offering treats doesnt seem to work. She seems very concentrated on self-preservation.

We have had them near each other on the ground, while monitoring them. This week, when he got very close, she ran off and hid - leaving a trail of urine (she was very frightened).

She seems to be comfortable on the top of the cat tower, or my sitting on my shoulder, when Bob is on the ground.

We had a Felway plug that seemed to be working, but has limited positive effects when Bob is around. So she is a mixture of fortitude (30%) and nervousness (70%).

I need to try the collar with the bell, to put on Bob when he is around. I would say they are used to each others scent.

My wife and I both have the time to be in the room with them to monitor their behaviour. But our concern is whether she will ever allow him to be close enough to acknowledge he is not a threat.

Any thoughts?

Many thanks

 

[ArtNJ]

I don't remember all the background, but I can say that it isn't always a big jump from curiousity + fear + hissing to getting along. But I think your right that the urination signals a high level of stress, so the gate has some work to do. Hopefully, the younger cats curiousity will have him near the gate quite often, and over time Bob will realize Fleaso isn't so terrible. The bell might help, but even so you might need a good bit more than 2 days at this stage.

The effects of elevation that you are seeing are a normal thing. Cat trees are often recommended to help a nervous older cat help adapt to a younger cat, and I believe this effect to be real. In fact, I had a rescue that never liked the new cat, and it only progressed towards toleration quite slowly. It took literally years to get to full toleration (this isn't as bad as it sounds, as getting reasonable close to toleration is good enough for peace and took much less time), but eventually, they actually played together a little -- but only when the older cat had elevation. On his TV show, Jackson Galaxy often recommends building "cat superhighways" to solve problems, which is great if you are a master carpenter or have money to burn. I don't think too many real life folks actually do this, but adding another cat tree or two isn't a bad idea! Amazon and Chewy have some that are huge, cheap compared to the pet stores, and good quality, although you need to put them together.

The risk here is that when you put the cats together after the gate stage, Fleaso will try and progress from curiousity to actively instigating play, and won't take no for an answer (you may have seen that already!). That is really common, and often what causes the problem in the first place. Since you are having problems before that stage, given that Bob is blind and given the possibly high stress, my usual advice of letting them work things out on their own after the gate stage may need to be tweaked. So when you progress beyond the gate, you might need to have a period where you watch carefully and intervene when needed. Just don't scare Bob when you do -- gentle interventions/distraction of Fleaso are the way. But if you don't get back to supervised visitations for a week or two, or longer, thats just fine. Lets see if we can get Bob not stressed on the other side of the gate before Fleaso ups the ante by being a huge PITA about trying to play with Bob (which I'm sure he eventually will!)

 

[Elphaba09]

When you are doing the clicking, do you say her name and go to her? With my toughest case--Tara the Stalker--I had to physically go up to her, click, say her name, and then remove her from the situation because she was ignoring me. After she was removed, I would give her extra attention and a treat. After a couple of weeks, when I clicked and said her name, she would start to pay attention. Soon after that, I was able to be sitting across the room from her, click, say her name, and point next to me. She would come running up and expect attention and treats. Now, if I hear her doing anything "bad," I can be in another room and she will come running when I click.

If I remember correctly, one is blind. Is that correct? (Sorry, I am very tired!) Obviously, if one is, the pointing will do nothing, but physically moving her will help. Perhaps you can spray a little calming spray after you get her attention and give her a treat.

I will see if I can think of anything else in the morning. (It is currently 4 am, so it is officially my bedtime!)

 

[JimmyL]

Thanks to you both...yes Fleaso is he older and blind one. The flat is her territory. Never been near another cat, and really only comfortable with me and my wife. Bob is the addition. Fleaso hisses and gets scared whenever she perceives Bob is around, even going and hiding

 

[ArtNJ]

Ah, I got them backwards then!

TBH one year olds are the worst about taking no for an answer and respecting boundaries. So go slow with the gate, get the bell collar, and do what you can with supervised visits before leaving it to them to work out.

 

[JimmyL]

I know what you mean about one year olds...trying to get the collar and bell on him is quite a battle!

 

[JimmyL]

When you are doing the clicking, do you say her name and go to her? With my toughest case--Tara the Stalker--I had to physically go up to her, click, say her name, and then remove her from the situation because she was ignoring me. After she was removed, I would give her extra attention and a treat. After a couple of weeks, when I clicked and said her name, she would start to pay attention. Soon after that, I was able to be sitting across the room from her, click, say her name, and point next to me. She would come running up and expect attention and treats. Now, if I hear her doing anything "bad," I can be in another room and she will come running when I click.

If I remember correctly, one is blind. Is that correct? (Sorry, I am very tired!) Obviously, if one is, the pointing will do nothing, but physically moving her will help. Perhaps you can spray a little calming spray after you get her attention and give her a treat.

I will see if I can think of anything else in the morning. (It is currently 4 am, so it is officially my bedtime!)

Yes, if Fleaso (blind) perceives Bobs presence, nothing seems to distract her. It seems I could present her with a thousand dreamies as a treat and she would not respond. Clicking and saying her name doesnt work at that point. No need for me to remove her from the situation as she does that herself after quickly becoming scared. The blindness is obviously a different feature from your Tara. Tara sounds like shes ready to attack. With Fleaso the hissing and growling comes before rapidly retreating. Having said that her curiosity always gets the better of her: she will often try and push the door open when Bob is in the bedroom. Walking around with her on my shoulder seems to be OK, while he is on the floor. But anytime she is within a metre of him, and perceives he is close, she hisses and retreats

 

[di and bob]

When they DO bond, Bob will be invaluable for her, to provide entertainment, and to give her comfort and company. It is not unusual at all for females to be standoffish and very scared of changes. And her being blind compounds things. They are VERY protective of their domain and having to learn to share it is very upsetting to her. My cats took almost a year to get completely comfortable with each other, you may be doing this for a while too. But it is completely worth it, you will see. It has only been a few months. Remember hissing, swatting, and growling are perfectly normal reactions for a female to have. Even hiding because she is scared and unsure. The best indicator that things are going really well is if she hides for a while and then comes out again and is curious about him. Hiding the whole time he out indicates she is too stressed, Things will eventually go well, these things truly do take lots of time.

 

[JimmyL]

When they DO bond, Bob will be invaluable for her, to provide entertainment, and to give her comfort and company. It is not unusual at all for females to be standoffish and very scared of changes. And her being blind compounds things. They are VERY protective of their domain and having to learn to share it is very upsetting to her. My cats took almost a year to get completely comfortable with each other, you may be doing this for a while too. But it is completely worth it, you will see. It has only been a few months. Remember hissing, swatting, and growling are perfectly normal reactions for a female to have. Even hiding because she is scared and unsure. The best indicator that things are going really well is if she hides for a while and then comes out again and is curious about him. Hiding the whole time he out indicates she is too stressed, Things will eventually go well, these things truly do take lots of time.

That is a very sweet and reassuring message, Thanks very much