First Run In With A Nasty Neighbour!

[be81174]

Well, it finally happened!

I help look after a bunch of cats living in an abandoned lot. There are about 7 or 8 regulars, two of which appear to have been TNRd already. We have caught 3 cats so far. Two of which were homed because they were actually quite social! One sadly passed away after his surgery (I posted about him in another thread).

There is 1 more semi social left to trap and a big tomcat that eludes us. So the colony has shrunk quite a bit.

Tonight we were out trapping and the old lady that feeds them in the morning came out to be angry with us. We are "scaring them" and they never come out anymore. I told her it's actually because we are finding homes for them! This seemed to upset her even MORE!!! She sarcastically said we are "socializing them". Like DUH!

Anyways, I am not great at justifying myself to angry people on the street. I am not a people person that way. I was not polite back to her.

She was angry that we are trapping the cats and finding homes for them. I...can't see the logic in that.

 

[Primula]

The old lady is probably lonely & the cats fill a void in her life. You are going to have to find some middle ground with her. Maybe show her photos of the cats in their new homes or something like that? Lonely people who have little contact with others are difficult to get along with, I know.

 

[be81174]

There is not much I can do. She also speaks French and I am English. I have enough understanding to catch what she is upset about but I don't have the language skills to baby a bruised ego while being attacked and threatened for daring to help these poor strays.

 

[Primula]

It's not about anyone's ego. You have a plan to help the cats, but she's probably been feeding them for years. Can't you see that she feels threatened? It's really easy to learn a few French words on the Internet. Next time you go say Bonjour Madame. Comment ca va? (Hello Madame. How are you?)

 

[be81174]

I speak enough French to know that I cannot reason with her. If you give me the exact words to say, I will. However I don't have enough words to go beyond "I found homes for the cats" and her threatening to call the police. She mocked me for "socializing" them...but I didn't quite understand what she said. Only that she was angry about it.

What should I say to her?

 

[Kieka]

She might consider the cats "hers" even though they are outdoors. So in her mind you might be stealing her cats. It would probably be helpful to enlist someone who can help you communicate with her and figure out what her standpoint is.

 

[msaimee]

Are you sure that she understands you are putting them in homes and not taking them to a shelter? The language barrier may be more pronounced than you think. Legally, if you have veterinary records for the cats, they are yours, even if other people feed them. So you have the right to give them away. Continue to trap and neuter them, even if she calls the police, they will side with you. Maybe offer to give her one or two to take inside her home after they're fixed so she can care for them properly? If you're unable to reason with her, continue to do what you are doing because it is in the cats best interests.

 

[be81174]

All I really caught from her was that we are scaring the cats with our traps and they aren't coming to eat anymore and that she was calling the police. I told her we had found "Maisons" (houses) for some of them and she was even more angry and said some stuff I didn't understand except for us to leave them alone.

I have no idea how to reason with her in her language. I thought I had already the last time she came out to ask what we were doing. I also don't think there is a middle ground to be struck. Having the cats fixed is a necessity and cannot be compromised on. If I had a few ideas of what to say before going out there, I could work on translating it so I am prepared.

 

[Primula]

First, how can she call the police if she can't speak English? And what would the cops do anyway? Do you know of anyone who can translate for you?

Maybe ask her if she wants to have a coffee someplace? Desirez-vous un café avec moi?

What about taking her to the shelter with you? So she can see exactly what you're doing. Desirez-vous aller au shelter avec moi?

 

[msaimee]

If you're concerned about her calling the police, you might consider speaking to them yourself, as a preemptive measure, and letting them know what you are doing with the cats. I've had to do this on two separate occassions, and it gave me great peace of mind. They make a report, and you are covered if a complaint is made against you. There are some neighbors that you can't rationalize with or make peace with no matter how hard you try, so it is best to inform the police about what you are doing and continue to trap and socialize the cats. I've been yelled at a few times, but that kind of comes with the territory when you're rescuing cats. It's great that you're able to find homes for these cats! Everyone I know already has taken in too many cats, so you are fortunate to be able to truly help these cats.

 

[Norachan]

Hi B be81174

Thank you for trying to help these cats. How long have you been taking care of this colony? It could be that the old lady was taking care of the cats before you were. She may have been the one who got a few of them fixed. If she has been caring for this colony for a while I can understand why she'd be upset if you re-homed some of the cats without telling her first. People get very attached to their feral cats, even if they can't bring them indoors or pet them.

I think it would really help the situation if you could get someone to translate for you. If you can't get a fluent French speaker to come with you maybe you could ask someone to write a letter, explaining what you are doing and asking this lady if she objects to the cats being re-homed.

I struggle talking to my neighbours too, although my Japanese got a lot better once I had the welfare of the local feral cats to motivate me.

If it turns out you have re-homed some cats that this lady considered "her" ferals it's important to apologise and promise to consult her before you remove any more of them. I know I'd have mixed feelings if anyone re-homed a feral cat I was caring for without any warning.

 

[be81174]

Hi,

Today I sent out a "PR" guy to talk to the woman. He works with the public, often with difficult clients. He came downstairs after she slammed the door in his face and said that there is simply no reasoning with her.

She does not believe in TNRM. She feels the cats should be just left alone and fed. No trapping them. No sterilizing them. No homing them. Nothing. The constant mating and reproducing is of no concern to her as long as you feed them. They are "happy and well fed" and that is how it should stay.

We will stay away from this lady and simply ignore her. I had never heard of this particular stance before and yet a second woman came by with the SAME complaint for us! She didn't understand why we would do this when they are "obviously happy". I explained that they were going to be sterilized and returned unless they were friendly and would be happy in a house. Nope. They don't need to be sterilized...they are living a good life where they are. I'll admit, the location they have WAS perfect before they started tearing buildings down and dragging tractors through the feeding area.

I showed her a picture of a mangled up cat I trapped and brought to the vet on my own dime because the TNR program would have put him to sleep...and she STILL thinks the cats have a great life. We live in the city in a poor area with many, many stray cats. This cat has a new home now and was obviously a stray cat and not a feral. This is the life of a street cats in my area

 

[Kieka]

Glad you got someone to translate for the peace of mind that it is not just a misunderstanding. Avoidance is probably best at this point.

 

[kittens mom]

You have just described my In-laws and my SIL and they speak English. 25 years of trying to explain why S/N is important right to having vouchers that then needed to sign. (we weren't eligible) for free S/N and we were going to transport them do all the work but needed their consent. I have probably seen hundreds of cats come and go at their negligence. I ask my FIL one day how he could just let the cat that was loving on him roam and his answer was that when this one vanished another one would come along. You are beating your head on the brick wall of ignorance. Keep doing what you're doing because it is the right thing.

 

[Norachan]

That poor cat! Well, at least you tried.

The people around here don't think there is any need to speuter the cats they feed. When I started doing TNR I told a few neighbours who feed cats what I was going to do. They didn't object, but they didn't seem to understand why I was doing it either.

All you can do is keep trapping and rehoming whenever you can. Just think of these ladies as an extra food source for the strays and ferals.

I think it's great that you are prepared to go to all this trouble for those cats.

 

[msaimee]

You have done all you can to make peace with this lady, but as I said before, some neighbors can't be reasoned with. I hope you will continue to TNR these cats and rehome as many as you can, because you are doing what is in the best interests of the cats. I always put the best interests of feral and stray cats above those of difficult and misinformed people. If she continues to threaten to call the police, as I suggested previously, contact the police yourself and inform them of what you are doing. Otherwise, just ignore her. Approaching her again at this point would only make the situation worse. This is not a problem of language barrier, but a problem of someone who views TNR as cruel and unnecessary, and who puts her need for these cats above what's best for them. I am personally thrilled whenever someone else is willing to take in a stray or feral cat who appears on my block-- it's one less cat I have to worry about. But as someone else pointed out, it is helpful that she's feeding them, that's one less expense for you. Keep up the good work.

 

[muffy]

Hi,

Today I sent out a "PR" guy to talk to the woman. He works with the public, often with difficult clients. He came downstairs after she slammed the door in his face and said that there is simply no reasoning with her.

She does not believe in TNRM. She feels the cats should be just left alone and fed. No trapping them. No sterilizing them. No homing them. Nothing. The constant mating and reproducing is of no concern to her as long as you feed them. They are "happy and well fed" and that is how it should stay.

We will stay away from this lady and simply ignore her. I had never heard of this particular stance before and yet a second woman came by with the SAME complaint for us! She didn't understand why we would do this when they are "obviously happy". I explained that they were going to be sterilized and returned unless they were friendly and would be happy in a house. Nope. They don't need to be sterilized...they are living a good life where they are. I'll admit, the location they have WAS perfect before they started tearing buildings down and dragging tractors through the feeding area.

I showed her a picture of a mangled up cat I trapped and brought to the vet on my own dime because the TNR program would have put him to sleep...and she STILL thinks the cats have a great life. We live in the city in a poor area with many, many stray cats. This cat has a new home now and was obviously a stray cat and not a feral. This is the life of a street cats in my area
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View attachment 178974

Thank you for doing what you are doing. If I had someone doing TNR on my ferals I would be down on my knees thanking my lucky stars. I just don't understand some people,

Muffy

 

[be81174]

Just wanted you all to know that the cat who I posted above...the poor little beat up kitty...this is him today in his new foster home (which I am quite sure will be a "foster fail" and she'll adopt him)

 

[Freedom]

Oh bless, so glad you posted the follow up pic on this kitty!

And well done, working a TNRM program. It's good that you had the other person speak (or try to speak) with the woman. At least now you know there is no language barrier involved! It is definitely an attitude / culture difference. I also encountered this back when I was volunteering with TNRM. People would ask, "Why bother? Just leave them be." Many times, these people see stray cats as 'wild animals,' like squirrels, raccoons, and such. They don't consider the cat a domesticated animal.

And obviously, these people have never known the love of a cat as a pet!