First post, Any advice or suggestions are most welcome!

[Lorelei1680]

Hi everyone!
I am really struggling to integrate a kitten into my home. I currently have 4 cats including the new kitten. Here is an overview of my cats and what I am experiencing with them

Fig is 8 years old, I've had her since she was a kitten. We have fostered many cats together and she has consistently been such a great foster sister to them all until now. Fig is the ultimate lap cat and is very bonded to me.
Toffee and Pecan are 3 years old. They were both my last fosters and became foster failures (my first time in 15 years!) Toffee was 3 months old when she came to me and Pecan was 5 weeks old. The 3 girls are all bonded and get along so well. I have not fostered since
Dorian is the new addition. She has been with me since October 15th and is now 10 months old (so 5 months as I write this)

Toffee is very shy and will hide if any new people come into my home. She is extremely affectionate with me and my husband in very specific situations such as if we are both sitting on the sofa or laying in bed. She is also very bonded with Fig and follows her everywhere and mimics her actions.

I have followed the recommended steps for cat introductions but I am not making much progress integrating Dorian into the group. Here is a summary of the cat behaviors and concerns I am experiencing with each of the cats.

Toffee is my biggest concern, she has consistently stalked and attacked Dorian at some point during every supervised interaction. When she is not stalking, Toffee is hyper focused on every move she makes. I am able to distract Toffee with play some of the time, Toffee does have a high play drive and I play with her for 15 minute intervals at least twice a day. The minute the play ends she is right back to staring and stalking Dorian.

Because of Toffees behavior, Dorian spends her nights in a separate bedroom and has intervals where she is out throughout the house while Toffee is in her bedroom. I fear that because the 4 don't spend much time together it is not letting any of the cats acclimate to each other.

I believe that Toffees behavior is affecting how Fig and Pecan interact with Dorian. At this point I interchange having Dorian out at intervals with Pecan and Fig. Together and separately. Fig will stalk Dorian and pounce on her. Dorian will growl but Fig does not let up. She will back off, move away a few feet and stare at her. Pecan mostly hisses at Dorian whenever they are in close contact. She will chase her and swipe at her but it is subtle. The 3 girls do play together but it is playful. None of them are rough with each other. They do some light wrestling but nothing like how they are interacting with Dorian.

Dorian is a completely different cat when she is alone then when the other cats are around. Dorian is fully submissive to the other 3. She goes right on her back with her paws up if they pounce on her. She does growl when they stare and it does not make them back down. When there is supervised interaction with the 4 of them Dorian chooses to be glued to my side or on my lap. She has learned that most of the problems happen when she is on the floor so she mostly moves on sofas and counters when any other cats are around.

A few things to note about their routine and things I've tried so far
-Toffee is on medication to help with her aggression and anxiety. She takes 30 mg of Prozac and 100 mg of Gabapentin a day.
-Besides Toffee (she eats under my bed) the other 3 eat both meals near each other every day
-All 4 will eat their nighttime snack together. Toffee will even rub up against Dorian on the kitchen counter
-I have 3 cat trees and 4 litter boxes
-I have Feliway diffusers throughout the house and have tried different calming oils

I have been able to play with the cats together to get to the point that they all sleep near each other but unfortunately once Toffee wakes up she is right back to being focused on Dorian again. There are moments when Dorian is laying with me and Toffee will come over and seems to want to play or just be near her and then, boom she attacks her.

Has anyone out there dealt with this before? Will it get any better? Are Fig and Pecan reacting this way to Dorian because of how Toffee is acting? How can I help Dorian throughout this process? She is "the other" and I just hate it.

Thank you for taking the time to read all of this! I am at a loss and welcome any advice or suggestions.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi, welcome!

Try this; stop the feliway and test if not having it running makes a difference. I've read sometimes it can make things worse, even though there are different versions of it.

You could try Cat Music, I'm not sure how helpful it will be here.

This may help;

either with real vanilla (rather than synthetic) or raw coconut (which still has fragrance) ;
From member valanhb;
You put a dab of vanilla extract under the chins, at the base of their neck (by the spine) and at the base of the tail (again, on the spine not the underside of the tail!) of all of the cats to make them smell the same. Cats recognize each other by scent, so if that kitty smells the same as "me", then he must be a friend. Kitty logic at it's finest.
This trick works when introducing cats into the household, or during a reintroduction after a redirected aggression event.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi, I think you need a bit different approach. If you think Toffee is influencing everyone else, then try one on one integrations with the other cats - with Toffee being absent. Pick one of the other two that you think meshes better with Dorian, and start there.
This is more than just a couple of times here and there, it needs to be repetitive and longer term until you can see change. The other one can stay with Toffee, but once you see a bond of any sort developing between Dorian and the 'chosen' cat, then you can try either swapping the two, or adding both to the mix, yet again without Toffee. The more the other cats accept Dorian, the less influence Toffee may have.

It really is all about experimenting until you find the right dynamics between the cats.

 

[Alldara]

When you were doing the introductions what activities were you distracting the cats with?
It doesn't sound like they are ready to be past the stage of supervised introductions with an activity.

At that stage, as humans we are building the bond by giving them things to do as a group.

 

[Lorelei1680]

Hi, I think you need a bit different approach. If you think Toffee is influencing everyone else, then try one on one integrations with the other cats - with Toffee being absent. Pick one of the other two that you think meshes better with Dorian, and start there.
This is more than just a couple of times here and there, it needs to be repetitive and longer term until you can see change. The other one can stay with Toffee, but once you see a bond of any sort developing between Dorian and the 'chosen' cat, then you can try either swapping the two, or adding both to the mix, yet again without Toffee. The more the other cats accept Dorian, the less influence Toffee may have.

It really is all about experimenting until you find the right dynamics between the cats.

Hi, welcome!

Try this; stop the feliway and test if not having it running makes a difference. I've read sometimes it can make things worse, even though there are different versions of it.

You could try Cat Music, I'm not sure how helpful it will be here.

This may help;

either with real vanilla (rather than synthetic) or raw coconut (which still has fragrance) ;
From member valanhb;
You put a dab of vanilla extract under the chins, at the base of their neck (by the spine) and at the base of the tail (again, on the spine not the underside of the tail!) of all of the cats to make them smell the same. Cats recognize each other by scent, so if that kitty smells the same as "me", then he must be a friend. Kitty logic at it's finest.
This trick works when introducing cats into the household, or during a reintroduction after a redirected aggression event.
[/QUOTE

Thank you for your reply! I've heard different things about Feliway too. I will give it a go.

May I ask where does one find Cat Music? I've never heard of it.

Oh wow, that is something I've never heard of but honestly I will try anything to make this happen. Kitty logic is definitely a mystery, thanks again

 

[Lorelei1680]

Hi, I think you need a bit different approach. If you think Toffee is influencing everyone else, then try one on one integrations with the other cats - with Toffee being absent. Pick one of the other two that you think meshes better with Dorian, and start there.
This is more than just a couple of times here and there, it needs to be repetitive and longer term until you can see change. The other one can stay with Toffee, but once you see a bond of any sort developing between Dorian and the 'chosen' cat, then you can try either swapping the two, or adding both to the mix, yet again without Toffee. The more the other cats accept Dorian, the less influence Toffee may have.

It really is all about experimenting until you find the right dynamics between the cats.

Thank you for your reply! Dorian spends the most time with Pecan. Pecan hisses at her from time to time but mostly leaves her alone. They play near each other and Pecan will run and turn to see if Dorian is chasing her. It is quite cute, I think Dorian is so timid so she doesn't know how to play with her. The other thing that I know is that Dorian does not like being jumped on, she had a huge umbilical hernia that was removed when she was spayed and did not like her siblings jumping on her.

I know Fig is the key to helping Toffee accept Dorian as she mimics everything that Fig does. The main problem is that when I swap them out each day and Toffee is in Dorian's room, if Fig is not with her, she gets anxious and becomes destructive. I've had to replace my carpet by the door from her ripping it up. I have since purchased a carpet protector so now Toffee just bangs at the door. I am honestly impressed with Toffee's focus. I've never seen a cat so hyper focused. I really need to figure this out.

 

[Lorelei1680]

When you were doing the introductions what activities were you distracting the cats with?
It doesn't sound like they are ready to be past the stage of supervised introductions with an activity.

At that stage, as humans we are building the bond by giving them things to do as a group.

Mostly play and their favorite treats that they would only get when she was there, basically churu.

No, I would definitely not move past that stage. Toffee's staring is hyper-focused and I site swap them everyday now so Dorian has run of the house during the day and is in her room all night. Toffee is at the door of Dorians room whether she is in it our outside of it. she looks for Dorians shadow under the door and will charge it. Toffee loves play more then any of the other cats so I play with her to tire her out a few times a day but boy she won't leave the door alone.

 

[Alldara]

Mostly play and their favorite treats that they would only get when she was there, basically churu.

No, I would definitely not move past that stage. Toffee's staring is hyper-focused and I site swap them everyday now so Dorian has run of the house during the day and is in her room all night. Toffee is at the door of Dorians room whether she is in it our outside of it. she looks for Dorians shadow under the door and will charge it. Toffee loves play more then any of the other cats so I play with her to tire her out a few times a day but boy she won't leave the door alone.

So one of the biggest issues is not having something for them to do during intros.

She's charging it as in she's growling and is proofed up or she is hopping at/body checking the door and slamming her feet underneath?



I would try spending as much of the day as possible doing gated introductions. Don't force the resident cats to come to the gate, but do be at the gate yourself.
Grab a book, or a tablet and settle in next to the gate on the side of your resident cats. Keeps toys and treats nearby. Your resident cats should feel that there are two gates between NC and them this way: you, and the physical gate.

Play some background noise like cat calming music. If cats come around you can play with them a bit. If someone starts to get rilled up, use a treat toss for distraction or wave a toy. Basically, you're teaching them all that if they need space from another cat they are to walk away. You're also teaching NC to let them walk away because NC cannot physically reach them.
Even reward hissing and walking away. That is positive communication. Hissing is not aggressive, it is a "hey! Leave me alone!"