Fighting or Playing?

[mildlyironic]

My two kittens - a brother and sister pair - have gotten along since I adopted them in June. However, their behavior is starting to confuse me. 

On the one hand, they regularly groom each other. On the other hand, both kittens have this odd grooming habit where one kitten will lick, lick lick, and then take a huge bite at the other kitten. It's not a hard bite, and there doesn't seem to be any actual closing of the jaw, but the grooming/biting kitten's mouth is open quite wide and often goes for the neck/shoulders/ears. Then the biting/grooming kitten just starts grooming again. 

I was worried that it was bullying, but since they both do it to each other and both groom each other, I thought it was just some odd habit of theirs? 

Additionally, they've always played and wrestled with each other, and one of them can get quite vocal. However, I noticed that even if she were vocal, when released she would be the first to pounce back into wrestling, and there've been times when she was vocal even when she was dominant. However, last night - and this is what triggered this forum post - I heard her hiss for the first time. This next morning, they were both together snuggling into my hair. (That's another odd habit of theirs. They love to burrow into my hair. At least, I think they're burrowing. They could be trying to chew it. But that's for another post, another time.)

Are my kittens just playing and continuing to set up boundaries of acceptable play, or is my (slightly larger) Apollo starting to bully my (slightly smaller, more vocal) Artemis?

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• mildlyironic
• Jul 14, 2014

Groom, groom, groom, groom, CHOMP, groom, groom.

 

[emandjee]

Mildyironic,

I have two much older kittens and they occasionally do that to each other, too. They start off with grooming each other's face, and then my male starts to bite my female's neck. She resists, and sometimes they get into a wrestling match, other times she runs away. It could be that the cat that instigates this is bored, so sometimes a good session of interactive play can help so that your female won't be as bothered much. The hiss was probably a warning sign to your male cat, telling him, "Hey, enough!  Leave me alone, would ya?" And if you saw them both snuggling within close proximity to the other, it's probably all forgotten between them. Kittens will get along with the other, it's only when they turn into adults that relationships can become complicated (like humans). I don't think it's bullying either, btw, and don't really see dominance between kittens.

Maybe others can tell you of their own experience or knowledge?

 

[mani]

Yes, that licking then biting thing is really common.  I remember the first time I ever saw it was when I was about 6 years old and my cat could groom our corgi.  He would just lie there, and she would lick all around his face, and then bite.. The dog would just put up with it because he loved being groomed.  I've noticed it many, many times since then with cats.

And the playing that seems a little over the top is pretty usual kitten behaviour too.

I just love the photo of your two.. that was a case of being in the right place at the right time!

 

[jclark]

All of my cats do that. Being bipolar is in their DNA.

 

[bipsoucolline]

My two kittens do exactly the same, except the one being groomed will usually start biting the other's face too and sometimes it may evolve into play fight. Sometimes they just stop and return to grooming. My boyfriend used to say "look, she can't decide if she feels playful or cuddly". 

 

[southern belle]

To me, it sounds like they are just teaching each other the limits of fair play and manners. Like all kids, animal or human, they learn by testing their boundaries. If you read some of the other threads, you'll see many about "only" kittens biting and scratching their guardians. Those kittens usually don't have another cat to teach them the rules of accepted cat behavior. If you don't see blood, injuries or they don't start vocalizing loudly like a real cat fight, I wouldn't worry.

As for sleeping in your hair, you might want to consider discouraging that habit. Years ago, I had a cat that slept wrapped around my head like a hat. He would groom my long hair too. One morning, I got up and was looking in the mirror as I brushed my teeth. Imagine my shock when I saw a huge lock of hair shortened to about 3 inches! I raced to my bedroom and there on my pillow was a thick gob of hair about a foot long! So unless you want a new short haircut....

 

[mildlyironic]

Thank you everyone for the advice and reassurance! I'm glad to hear that my kittens are seemingly well within the range of normal kitten behavior. (First time kitten mom - I tend to get worried over EVERYTHING. 

 

Aaaaaaand, Southern Belle, I will definitely start working to dissuade them from messing with my hair! I always thought it was kind of cute (or at least, never wanted to discourage affectionate behavior), but I'd rather not wake up to a new haircut courtesy of the twins. Yeek!

Lastly, EmandJee - you mentioned that kittens tend to get along well, but things might get more complicated as adults? Got any advice on how to make that a smooth transition? I'm spaying and neutering both of them on July 24th (especially since they are very fond of each other, and I really don't want any Joffrey Baratheons up in my apartment), so that'll hopefully avoid a lot of the territorialism/in heat/spraying problems, but I haven't learned much yet about other things to be aware of or to try and avoid!

 

[emandjee]

EmandJee - you mentioned that kittens tend to get along well, but things might get more complicated as adults? Got any advice on how to make that a smooth transition? I'm spaying and neutering both of them on July 24th (especially since they are very fond of each other, and I really don't want any Joffrey Baratheons up in my apartment), so that'll hopefully avoid a lot of the territorialism/in heat/spraying problems, but I haven't learned much yet about other things to be aware of or to try and avoid!

Mildyironic,

Sorry, I meant that when your kittens become older as adult cats, introducing them to another feline (either another cat or kitten) will be much harder because they are territorial in nature and will require a slow introductory period to help the cats assimilate in their new environment with other new kitties. If you don't plan to introduce other cats into your household for as long as they live, it will be fine as they would have grown up together and likely continue to keep their close bond to one another. 

 

Spaying & neutering is great!

That way they'll both live longer, have less medical issues (less prone to cancers), less likely run outside and get lost, less likely to fight other tom cats, and be much more peaceful and loving cats due to them not being run by hormones!