Fighting kitties

curlytoes79 · Feb 9, 2021

Hi everyone -

I have a 2-year-old Tortie girl (Maisie), whom I've had since she was 6 weeks, and a few months ago I also adopted a tuxedo boy (Cecco), who is about 5 years old. Both are spayed/neutered.

Cecco has a pretty laid-back personality but is also a confident/alpha kitty. Maisie is timid and took a while to warm up to her new brother. We introduced slowly, and they were getting used to each other. Maisie's hissing decreased, she began sleeping near him on the bed, even allowing some limited allo-grooming. We thought things were great! They were even getting comfortable enough to play a bit.

That's when things changed. Cecco began playing roughly with Maisie - tackling, bowling her over, etc. Maisie hisses and growls when he does this, but it never deters him. I have to shoo him away. As much as she complains, Maisie will often jump right up from a defensive position and go pick another "fight" with Cecco, and she's even started tackling him the way he tackles her! (We accuse her of writing checks that her a$$ can't cash.) But she's still hissing and fussing when he does it, so I can't imagine she enjoys this sort of play.

Maisie doesn't seem to exhibit fear of Cecco in non-play situations - she'll sleep a few inches away from him, for example. But I don't know what to make of this behavior. I'm afraid it's going to hurt their relationship in the long run, but it's been difficult to stop. I did try a Feliway-type diffuser in the room where they play; no effect.

Any advice??

thanks!
Amanda

maggie101 · Feb 9, 2021

I clicker trained my cat Maggie to come when called when she pesters Peaches to play which she doesn't. Their relationship has changed. Peaches does not like it when Maggie comes close. But dinner time Peaches plays with Maggie. Then chases her away when I bring out the food.At night she growls if Maggie jumps on the bed with her. Maggie is th

So, to sum it up,Peaches has to be the one to start. No one can go near her food. She wants the bed to herself. She does not like being startled by her.

Clicker train Maggie,distract Maggie by playing,pick her up and take to another room til she calms down (few minutes or more). Maggie is very active after dinner. I tried playing with her at night but that gets her more excited.. Peaches wants to go to bed. It is hard! Personalities change as they get older

FeebysOwner · Feb 10, 2021

Hi! When they are 'fighting' other than Maisie hissing and growling some, are her ears back or is anyone's claws coming out? Any fur flying or blood being drawn? If not, I'd say you have a power struggle going on for the alpha position - Maisie is not ready to give up just yet. Maybe she might even win over time!!

You can try to distract Cecco with play, but if Maisie goes back for more on her own, it might not work - or, perhaps they will both play together with you. That would be the best outcome.

IMO, they are going to have to duke it out until one gets the 'top' position. When that happens, I think Cecco will be less inclined to continually attack her. If they really start to fight with claws and fur flying, then since Cecco is the instigator in most cases, picking him up, hissing at his face or saying no, then placing him in a 'time-out' for a couple of minutes might work after a gazillion times of repeating that process. If you get to this point, you really do need to be consistent and persistent to get results.

If you really think the 'fighting' is a real cause for concern, take a video of it and share it here so other members can take a look at what is going on.

di and bob · Feb 10, 2021

I agree with the above, I will bet Maisie will come out on top eventually, the girls are more stubborn and determined and usually boss the boys around. Since they have known each other for only a few months there is definitely a power struggle going on. Cats always sound like they are killing each other, as long as there is no blood drawn and deep bites it is show. I wouldn't let Cecco dominate her like that, give him a 5 minute time out like stated above after hissing at him. N0 longer or you'll confuse him as to why he is being punished, they need to associate the crime with the time. If she is not hiding from him, she is not being really hurt, a hurting cat avoids the aggressor. This will all sort itself out in time, intervene when it gets too intense, I keep a kickeroo, a long catnip infused kicking toy,around to throw to the aggressor, it usually distracts them.

Mama Lioness · Feb 11, 2021

I have found that a several of piles of catnip on the floor a bit of distance apart, or even in several rooms helps. Enough to roll in and also eat and get sleepy and relaxed. Great stress buster. Also, an old sock filled with catnip and hung with a wide ribbon from the door nob(s) makes always available toy distractions. Maybe, in addition to competing for alpha, the younger one just has too much energy for now and distractions could help.