Feliway Grieving Cat?

[george775]

I had two cats, one passed away last week. The other has been mostly ok but sometimes will meow loudly which he almost never does unless he really wants something. He usually does this if he thinks I'm out of the house, he almost howls. I got Feliway and plugged it in hoping it'd help him stay calm while I'm out of the house. Within half an hour of plugging that in he started dragging his dead brothers toys to it and left them there. Never had a cat die while still having a living cat so I'm not sure what that means if anything.

When both cats where together they had their own sets of toys and seemed to have preference and mostly left the others toys alone. The cat that passed away was also the alpha and tolerated the other cat. He didn't lick him or sit with him or anything but they didn't fight often. Maybe over a spot in the sun or a cat bed once in a while.

 

[ArtNJ]

The reaction of a cat to the passing of another cat is very unpredictable. Some don't seem to react, and some react strongly, but in varying ways.

Its not clear that Feliway does anything at all. There is very little scientific data, and people report different results, exactly as you might expect from chance.

So I don't know what the heck the toy thing means per se, but your cat is definitely reacting to the passing of his companion in some fashion. I don't know that I would try to translate the behavior into human emotions -- just be supportive however seems to make sense -- i.e. offer attention if the cat seems bored, reassurance if he seems skittish and so on. He should settle down in time and stop any more extreme behaviors (like howling). Some behavior changes can be permanent though -- I had a cat become *much* more affectionate for example. Instantly. And permanently.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Well, I'm reading a lot into this, and most or all of it could be wrong...BUT...if the cat is dragging ONLY his dead brother's toys to the Feliway, I think he may find the scent comforting. A ArtNJ is right that Feliway doesn't have a lot of direct data available, but some people seem to find that it helps their cats tremendously. I think it may be like catnip...a cat either reacts or does not, and there's no predicting. Yours seems to find some comfort with placing his dead companion's toys next to it. It certainly isn't hurting a thing.

And, like ArtNJ, I also have a cat who became far, far more affectionate when she lost her sister. Apparently, Sister was a dominant force in the house, and my Hekitty blossomed after Rayne was gone, once she had adjusted.

A bit of time, a bit of patience. If your boy wants snuggles, give them. If he wants play, play. If he just wants to be in the room with you, give him a blankie or some such. He will come to terms with it.

And, again, I am very sorry for the loss of a beloved cat. I did post in your "Crossing the Bridge" thread.

 

[george775]

It's interesting because I'm not sure if my other cat is now claiming all the toys from the cat that died or just likes them because they smell like the other cat. He's started dragging out more and more toys. He's already claimed the other cat bed for himself. If anything I'm glad at 13 he's still finding time to kill some of his toys.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Either way - whether he is claiming George's toys and the bed for himself or just finding comfort in them - it is his way of coping. I suspect the howling is a call out to his buddy, just to see if he might still be around - or, to just tell you that you can be assured he is still there for you.

I hope you see him settle some over time. I also hope you can tell us his name and keep us posted on how he is doing. A pic or two would be nice as well!