Feeling sad

[vikinggirl34]

Hello

I wasn’t sure if this was the correct forum for this post. If it needs to be moved, please let me know.

I posted here 11 mo ago when my baby went to the Rainbow Bridge.

It’s been a long grief process with a few “rays of sunshine”… meaning…about 2 months ago I started considering adoption. I visit the local rescue site every day “window shopping”

I actually, finally took a step forward by stopping by the shelter the other day to check out a kitty (11 yr old with 3 legs). I took the time to speak with one of the volunteers and did a meet and greet with the little guy only because I was seriously interested. I don’t like to waste anyone’s time.

However, I decided against it. I realized that I’m really just not ready. I felt, and still feel sad as I know I could give him a great home. I felt bad too that I may have gotten the shelter worker’s hopes up and maybe the cat’s hopes too.

Long story short, I’m sure there are probably many people who go into shelters and “browse” not knowing for sure if they will be taking an animal home.

 

[Mia6]

that 3 legged cat sounds very sweet.

 

[Mighty Orange]

I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out. I lost 3 cats in a short period of time, Snicker Batman and weerun. In the end I adopted a bonded couple, I do not regret a thing. They both bring me love.

 

[di and bob]

It takes time to develop love. That boy would grow on you in time. Of course, any cat would too. You will be never 'ready', just like you will never 'get over' losing your little one. I even resented the cats left in my house when my soulmate died, But they actually forced me to love once again, to live again.....Now I am incredibly grateful to have had them there to distract me even for a moment, and to bring joy into my life once more. But it all took time.
Don't worry about feeling guilty about wanting another cat in your life. Janie taught you what a cat's love can be, and left you a legacy to pass on. Any new loves CANNOT ever replace her love, it is a part of your soul now. They will be added on and will reside right next to hers, helping hers to grow even stronger, even more special. Take the leap, go into the future and live it as you woukld have wanted her to go on if you were the first to go. Receiving more love and happiness through the remaining years, not spending it in sadness and grief. She will share your joy. after all, she gave you a gift that is a treasure, cat's heart.......

 

[Gunther4ever]

It will click when the time is right, like everything else in life you will know you and that it's time to reopen your heart to a new friend. 2024 is the start of a new year with a huge wide open door for you to find what is just right for you .

 

[Aileen666]

Hello

I wasn’t sure if this was the correct forum for this post. If it needs to be moved, please let me know.

I posted here 11 mo ago when my baby went to the Rainbow Bridge.

It’s been a long grief process with a few “rays of sunshine”… meaning…about 2 months ago I started considering adoption. I visit the local rescue site every day “window shopping”

I actually, finally took a step forward by stopping by the shelter the other day to check out a kitty (11 yr old with 3 legs). I took the time to speak with one of the volunteers and did a meet and greet with the little guy only because I was seriously interested. I don’t like to waste anyone’s time.

However, I decided against it. I realized that I’m really just not ready. I felt, and still feel sad as I know I could give him a great home. I felt bad too that I may have gotten the shelter worker’s hopes up and maybe the cat’s hopes too.

Long story short, I’m sure there are probably many people who go into shelters and “browse” not knowing for sure if they will be taking an animal home.

It’s hard. Very hard. My boy cat passed away Oct 2022. About a year after he passed I thiught I was ready to give his sister another fur friend. I left the shelter twice crying. Nope. Wasn’t ready. Went a third time. Thought I found her the perfect fur friend. He was 8. My cat is 15. So I thought an older cat would be better to get along with her. I was told he had a sister that was adopted. Long story short …I watched all of those Jackson galaxy videos on introducing cats and did all the steps. That cat kept attacking my girl cat. Also , he looked very similar to my boy who passed but had a different personality. It made me miss my boy even more . I gave him back to the shelter and he was adopted very quickly again ! The shelter I got him from has a 3 month time frame where you can bring a pet back if it doesn’t work out. I learned …. I’m still not ready ! Also , my girl cat is about to start chemo so I don’t want to bring any more stress to her so I think it’d just me snd her now ! But both of my sisters get another pet right away when one passes on while it takes me very very long time to even think about getting another one. You will know when you are ready. There is no time limit to the grieving

 

[nurseangel]

It's a difficult decision. My first impulse when one of my cats is over the RB is to go out and get another. My friend Jay said he would know when he was ready and it took him three years after his girl Crossed. Everyone is different. I got Bob not long after Daisy Crossed. She was like a part of my body. Yet when Bob came, he was so much of a distraction that I almost didn't have time to grieve. That's not why I got him, it's just the way it happened. Had he been a calmer kitten, I would have not been able to stop crying over Daisy.

Don't get me wrong. I think everyone needs to grieve. It would have been okay either way. I would have loved anyone we brought home. But DH saw something I did not, a very sad kitten hiding in the back of a cage. He told me later he would have loved to have had this cute kitten I was drawn to, but he knew he could make a difference in Bob's life. He was right. We now have the most rambunctious boy who turns our household upside down. I guess what I really needed was someone I could help. I just didn't realize it at the time. It is a no kill shelter, so the sweet kitten probably found a loving home. As for me, I love my tough guy.

I am so sorry for your loss. The cat or kitten you need, or the one that needs you, will arrive someday. Don't beat yourself up for not jumping in before you are ready.

 

[vikinggirl34]

The cat or kitten you need, or the one that needs you, will arrive someday.

I agree. I'm going to take as long as needed until I'm ready. ‍

 

[mainsoda]

I know just how you feel. I lost my darling Bee 26 days ago and I have good days and bad. I still cry when I pass foods in the grocery store we used to share. The little monkey loved croissants and I haven't been able to eat one since. I don't know if I will ever get another cat, I hope I will someday, but the pain is so sharp, right now I just can't see it.