- Joined
- Oct 28, 2020
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TLDR: Got two kittens a little over a month ago and experiencing regret, anxiety and I think what they call the kitty blues. Any help/advice for anyone who can relate would be much appreciated!
Backstory:
I have been wanting cats for the past 2 years, I read extensively about them, watched Youtube videos, cat-sitted for a couple of friends (each time around 2+ weeks, so I thought I was getting a good idea of how to live with cats). I settled on wanting Ragdoll cats based on their personality and demeanor and thought they will be good for a first time cat owner. (Note that I did not grow up with any pets, so this is my first time owning pets).
So after extensive research, my boyfriend and I located reputable breeders and was on a waitlist for around 6 months. Two kittens from two different breeders became available on the same time and we decided to get them both. We initially only wanted one but we were advised by multiple people to get two kittens so they can play with each other and burn off each other's energy. We also thought this was the perfect time as we are both WFH til mid next year so we are able to really be with the kittens full time for their kittenhood.
The first week bringing them home was blissful. We prepared separate rooms for each kitten to get acclimated to the house. We bought all the items the breeders recommended, toys, litter boxes, cat trees etc and they both appear to settle in well, and clearly well socialized by the breeders. They love cuddles, OK with being picked up, gentle around us. We introduced them to each other after around a week and they got along immediately.
Issue:
In the middle of the second week, issues started occurring. One of the kitties started to not eat, and took multiple vet trips to fix the issue. After that was over, the other kitten had watery diarrhea and got it all over her fur and the house at 2 AM. This happened twice. I only slept for 3 hours each night then. After we got her stomach issue resolved, now the other kitten is having soft stool, and having poop consistently stuck to his fur, meaning we have to repeatedly cut his butt hair and wipe his butt. (We are working with a vet to get this issue resolved)
This is where things start to go downhill for me. I'm starting to become very anxious, since I did not anticipate this many health problems so early on and start fearing for the day more serious health issues will happen. I also started becoming very paranoid about their poopy butts being everywhere and constantly checking for poop. I'm also feeling this really deep seated fear of being responsible for not only one BUT TWO creatures. I've always been used to living life just thinking about my own needs and health, but having two creatures fully dependent on me is putting me on the verge of anxiety attacks. I also feel guilty that that I don't spend enough time with them (I spend around 2 hours per day playing with them, broken up throughout the day, and they play with each other constantly too when I'm working), and just not sure if I'm good enough for them.
I'm now at the point where I feel immense regret ever getting these kittens. If I could turn back time, I wish I just stuck with cat-sitting for friends and never attempted this. I know that I will never get anymore pets after this. I'm thinking of returning one of the cats to the breeders where I know he will be cared for greatly (she explicitly stated in her contract that she will take back any of her cats should we not be able to care for it anymore and I saw firsthand the loving environment the kitten was bred in), and try to stick it out with just one cat and see how I feel.
It's weird that I love these creatures and I want to cry just thinking about the potential of giving them up, but I also am starting to somewhat resent them. I also feel immensely guilty for feeling this way, I wanted to provide them a forever home, give them the happiest and best life ever and now I feel that is an insurmountable task that is detrimental to my mental health.
I recognize that my anxiety is the problem. But at what point do I just throw the towel and say my mental health is more important? How many more months should I give it an honest try before I give up? Anyone who have experienced kitty blues have any advice or stories of how they overcame it, and how long it took them?
Thank you everyone who read the whole post.
Backstory:
I have been wanting cats for the past 2 years, I read extensively about them, watched Youtube videos, cat-sitted for a couple of friends (each time around 2+ weeks, so I thought I was getting a good idea of how to live with cats). I settled on wanting Ragdoll cats based on their personality and demeanor and thought they will be good for a first time cat owner. (Note that I did not grow up with any pets, so this is my first time owning pets).
So after extensive research, my boyfriend and I located reputable breeders and was on a waitlist for around 6 months. Two kittens from two different breeders became available on the same time and we decided to get them both. We initially only wanted one but we were advised by multiple people to get two kittens so they can play with each other and burn off each other's energy. We also thought this was the perfect time as we are both WFH til mid next year so we are able to really be with the kittens full time for their kittenhood.
The first week bringing them home was blissful. We prepared separate rooms for each kitten to get acclimated to the house. We bought all the items the breeders recommended, toys, litter boxes, cat trees etc and they both appear to settle in well, and clearly well socialized by the breeders. They love cuddles, OK with being picked up, gentle around us. We introduced them to each other after around a week and they got along immediately.
Issue:
In the middle of the second week, issues started occurring. One of the kitties started to not eat, and took multiple vet trips to fix the issue. After that was over, the other kitten had watery diarrhea and got it all over her fur and the house at 2 AM. This happened twice. I only slept for 3 hours each night then. After we got her stomach issue resolved, now the other kitten is having soft stool, and having poop consistently stuck to his fur, meaning we have to repeatedly cut his butt hair and wipe his butt. (We are working with a vet to get this issue resolved)
This is where things start to go downhill for me. I'm starting to become very anxious, since I did not anticipate this many health problems so early on and start fearing for the day more serious health issues will happen. I also started becoming very paranoid about their poopy butts being everywhere and constantly checking for poop. I'm also feeling this really deep seated fear of being responsible for not only one BUT TWO creatures. I've always been used to living life just thinking about my own needs and health, but having two creatures fully dependent on me is putting me on the verge of anxiety attacks. I also feel guilty that that I don't spend enough time with them (I spend around 2 hours per day playing with them, broken up throughout the day, and they play with each other constantly too when I'm working), and just not sure if I'm good enough for them.
I'm now at the point where I feel immense regret ever getting these kittens. If I could turn back time, I wish I just stuck with cat-sitting for friends and never attempted this. I know that I will never get anymore pets after this. I'm thinking of returning one of the cats to the breeders where I know he will be cared for greatly (she explicitly stated in her contract that she will take back any of her cats should we not be able to care for it anymore and I saw firsthand the loving environment the kitten was bred in), and try to stick it out with just one cat and see how I feel.
It's weird that I love these creatures and I want to cry just thinking about the potential of giving them up, but I also am starting to somewhat resent them. I also feel immensely guilty for feeling this way, I wanted to provide them a forever home, give them the happiest and best life ever and now I feel that is an insurmountable task that is detrimental to my mental health.
I recognize that my anxiety is the problem. But at what point do I just throw the towel and say my mental health is more important? How many more months should I give it an honest try before I give up? Anyone who have experienced kitty blues have any advice or stories of how they overcame it, and how long it took them?
Thank you everyone who read the whole post.