Excessive play aggression towards new kitten

[Ianamus]

Hi everyone. We're desperately struggling with introducing a new kitten to household, and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

We have a ~1 year and 1 month old cat, who we've had since he was a young kitten. He still has a lot of kitten energy and is very playful despite being an adult now. We play with him as much as we can, but working from home we are not always free to. We thought he might enjoy a companion to play with and spend time with while we are out.

We have previously introduced him to my sister in laws cat when she house-sat for around a week or so, and while he hissed at her cat to start with and there were a few tense moments between the two, they were coexisting peacefully within a few days. Because of this we hoped for a fairly smooth process if we were to adopt a second cat.

We recently adopted a gorgeous young kitten, just over 4 months old, and he has quickly grown close to me and confident in our home. Everything seemed to be going great, until we tried introducing him to our resident cat.

We started by keeping them separate, then scent swapping, then visuals, and things went fine at every stage, so we moved the process along fairly quickly. They don't react to each others scent at all and there was no hissing or signs of fear. They seemed curious about each other and tried to reach each other whenever possible. But from when we started allowing them to spend time together it's devolved into a nightmare.

Our resident cat does not seem to be afraid of the new kitten at all, he doesn't show any fear in his body language and has never hissed at the new kitten. They can even eat in the same room in close proximity to each other without issue. But he seems to think the kitten is just a new toy for him to play with to his hearts content. Introductions usually start fine, a bit of sniffing and some light play fighting. But then our resident cat keeps going, and going, and going, continually escalating the situation... pinning the new kitten to the ground over and over and over again, chasing him around constantly, stalking him, pawing at him while he's in his hiding space... and while it doesn't seem to be causing any harm our kitten HATES it, hissing, growling and fighting back, hiding for a bit before coming out and running around again. We try distracting them, playing with them, creating positive moments where they eat and play in the same space instead of focusing on each other, we've even tried to 'wait it out' and let resident cat tire himself out, but it never ends and we have to resort to separating them again. Worst of all, the more scared and angry our kitten gets the more "fun" resident cat seems to think this game is.

I feel guilty for taking the process faster than the shelter recommended, but I don't see how returning to scent swapping (which neither cat reacts to) or having them watch each other through a baby gate for a week will fix this incessant "play" fighting issue.

It's been 5 days and I'm already feeling like I'm at my wits end. I've been searching desperately for advice, but little of it seems applicable to this situation since there is no fear or aggression from resident cats part, it all seems to stem from an insatiable desire to play and him seeing new kitten as prey. We have one of those pheromone dispensers, for the fat lot of good those seem to do. We've tried to foster only positive moments but its impossible in this environment. I've been in tears because I've already formed such a close bond with the new little guy and I can't see this ending in any way other than him having to be returned to the shelter for his own sake if this doesn't stop. If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Wait, wait, wait...five days since the new kitten came into the house? Or five days since their first face-to-face meeting? If the former, you're doing BEAUTIFULLY, and if the latter, you're doing very well, indeed. And backtracking is just a part of a LOT of cat introductions. It is not a failure. I've never met a cat who would not allow a do-over, done properly. Use the baby gate for time-outs, to give the kitten a break. The very, VERY good news is this...your kitten is not the least afraid of your cat, and probably never will be. He just retreats when things get too rough. That's fine. That is almost predictable. And it could keep up for a while, until the kitten gets some more size on him, and starts play-fighting back. At that point, it may not stop, but become a more mutual game. A one-year-old cat is very much still a kitten. While close to full physical growth, mentally he's about 15 years old, happy, full of spunk, delighted with a playmate, but a bit over-enthusiastic.

My very best advice? Tell yourself this is going well. It really is. Then gather up ALL of your patience (order more from Amazon if necessary, goodness knows they seem to carry EVERYTHING), and just wait this out. Give the kitten lots of love, some short time-outs when overwhelmed, and settle in for a long haul. They are already friends, and as the size difference disappears, this will become more equal.

 

[Lorraine97]

I very recently went through something similar to this myself. It sounds like they just need more time. My older kitten was exactly the same when I started face-to-face introductions, just desperately wanting to play with the new kitten and he would completely fixate on her when they were in the same room as eachother, I couldn't redirect his attention to anything at all. I was separating them when the playfighting got too rough, but if you read my thread you'll see a few members mention separating them was potentially making his obsession with the new kitten worse. I carefully observed them interacting together and the older kitten never actually hurt the younger one, she would cry out a bit and sometimes would hiss and run away and hide, but I started to notice after a few minutes hiding, she would come out and starting returning the play, swatting back at him and jumping on his head/tail, ect.. My plan was to follow the younger kitten's pace, once she seemed more comfortable returning the play I let them spend more time together and after like, a week and a half, they've fine unsupervised now. My older one isn't so fixated on her anymore and they both get their playfighting fix

 

[Ianamus]

It's been 5 days total, we picked up the new kitten last Saturday. Which I am a bit embarrassed to say as the shelter recommended keeping them separate for two weeks. Just 6 hours after we brought him home new kitten decided he was tired of the room we were keeping him in and dashed out when I opened the door to give him his dinner to explore the rest of the house, so he came into contact with resident cat almost immediately. He's very confident and headstrong so he's been dictating the pace of things somewhat

Thank you both for your replies. I think I need to calm myself and not allow myself to get so stressed by it- it's just emotionally difficult seeing our new young kitten being the target of such frequent and aggressive-looking play by a cat much larger than him. we'll keep an eye on the situation and I'll have a read over the other thread you linked.

 

[Alldara]

I Ianamus oh what you're experiencing is really very normal. And yes with younger cats they certainly want to integrate much faster.

Your 1 year old is not an adult yet! Think of him as a young teen. He wants to rough-house with his much younger and smaller sibling. Its okay to set some boundaries. Keep playing with each separately to wear the oldest down a bit and to build the younger ones confidence. Soon the little one will be bigger and holding his own!

You can also try and distract with a toy if it's getting out of hand or a toss of a kibble or treat. It may, or may not work at first, but will work later on as the kitten becomes less of a novel item for your teen cat.

Wearing your teen down a bit before intros helps slightly but not much (at least in my experience) as teens manifest energy out of nothing. Keep separating them when you're out of the house until they are similar sized and keep claws trimmed so no accidents during play. Feeding through movement if you feed any dry food (for your teen, not the kitten) will help too.

 

[Lorraine97]

It's been 5 days total, we picked up the new kitten last Saturday. Which I am a bit embarrassed to say as the shelter recommended keeping them separate for two weeks. Just 6 hours after we brought him home new kitten decided he was tired of the room we were keeping him in and dashed out when I opened the door to give him his dinner to explore the rest of the house, so he came into contact with resident cat almost immediately. He's very confident and headstrong so he's been dictating the pace of things somewhat

Thank you both for your replies. I think I need to calm myself and not allow myself to get so stressed by it- it's just emotionally difficult seeing our new young kitten being the target of such frequent and aggressive-looking play by a cat much larger than him. we'll keep an eye on the situation and I'll have a read over the other thread you linked.

I completely understand it being emotionally difficult, sometimes it still is when I see my two roughousing But they are both young and that goes in your favour, give them some more time

 

[Mamanyt1953]

it's just emotionally difficult seeing our new young kitten being the target of such frequent and aggressive-looking play by a cat much larger than him.

It is. However, ALL play in cats is practice for the all-important HUNT, and ALL CATS know this, intrinsically! The kitten knows it very well, indeed, and although he needs a break here and there, he comes back for more. It looks, and sometimes sounds, far, far worse to US than it does to them. In fact, it's a little like (God help me, and I hate it) watching Pro Wrestling. What looks like utter mayhem and violence to the audience is, in fact, a well-practiced series of moves that intentionally do not truly hurt...and in cats, that's even more true. Professional wrestlers routinely get bruises, or inadvertent injuries. Cats almost never do.