Euthanasia

[kskatt]

Is there such a thing as a guilt free death when it comes to our furbabies? The "if only's (is there such a word?)" can be endless. I have had horses where the euthanasia gave me peace, none died without help. Dogs and cats, there has always been an "if only".

 

[artiemom]

I just want to thank all of your for a very informative, supportive thread on this subject..

Many years later, (over 30 yrs) I still carry some guilt over euthanizing my last cat... a diabetic, who was having seizures, filled with lung fluid/opacified lung~ ? tumor; who was hospitalized for a week before the Main Vet finally said to me, "It is time".. I still remember that moment and the night when it happened, so vividly...

Now, I feel as if I am going to be faced with the same decision.. very soon.. I know in my heart, I do not want to make this decision..
But, seriously.. am I feeling selfish?? am I not taking into consideration the ordeal my buddy is going through?? the pain? the anguish? the feeling of being afraid--frightened of the unknown things I am making him go through?????

I am aware I am doing all I can do, to provide my guy with a 'life'... but yet, what type of life is that.. of constant fear, medications, procedures, possible surgery???? That is not a life for any animal.. especially one who is loved...

There has to be a limit.. monetarily.. yes.. but, if I could move heaven and earth in order to provide a somewhat normal, painfree life for my baby, I would..
Alas, that is not meant to be...

We are the Guardians of these special creatures...To be entrusted in their care, as long as possible, painfree... to love them, to help them, to care for their every need.. while getting unconditional love in return..

We must remember that we are given these special creatures for a reason.. Let us not forget that..

I know I promised not to allow my baby to suffer. I am doing all I can to alleviate that.. I will do it to the end.. even if it breaks my heart in two...

I firmly believe in Euthanasia.. not to let a loved one suffer.. and to be alone at the end of their worldly time.. not to leave this earth, unloved..

I will be with my little one forever.. and not let him go...physically, yes--
spiritually, never....

thank you for allowing me to vent.. because I feel this is is something I will have to deal with very soon...

((Hugs)) and love to all.

 

[kittens mom]

If you have enough pets eventually you are going to be faced with this decision. It's an emotionally charged one that we try and avoid thinking about but it's always there. It comes with the package. As someone pointed out our cats live longer now and we provide medical care for conditions that were a quick death sentence just a few years ago. Many cats live happy and healthy lives tucked safely inside our homes with diets formulated for their health. We see this mirrored in human healthcare where a simple pacemaker might extend a life for decades.

 

[denice]

I think I am going to be facing this decision soon with Patches. I am not going to go into everything but I think probably sometime before the end of the year. It is a tough decision. I have always struggled with when is it time. Some people say 'You will know', I guess I am not in tune enough because I have always struggled with the when. He is one of the special ones in my life. I think everyone here understands that. We have loved all of the pets that we have had over the years but then there are those very special ones.

 

[kittens mom]

I don't think anything prepares you but sometimes sorting things out in writing is a good way to sort out your feelings. I had to step outside myself to get through Kitten's euthanasia. She was calm and the vet asked if we wanted more time. YES ! about 10 more years. But NO because right now she's calm and if she gets upset she's a mess and that would only make it more horrible for her. It happens so fast and your mind doesn't even process what just happened in front of your eyes. You're numb you go home and then it's like an avalanche and you feel like your soul is being crushed. Lots of people think grief is emotional but it's physical and painful. You know the old expression it felt like someone hit me in the gut. Well that's real. Even if you are at peace with the actual decision you have all the emotions.

 

[servals]

I don't think anything prepares you but sometimes sorting things out in writing is a good way to sort out your feelings. I had to step outside myself to get through Kitten's euthanasia. She was calm and the vet asked if we wanted more time. YES ! about 10 more years. But NO because right now she's calm and if she gets upset she's a mess and that would only make it more horrible for her. It happens so fast and your mind doesn't even process what just happened in front of your eyes. You're numb you go home and then it's like an avalanche and you feel like your soul is being crushed. Lots of people think grief is emotional but it's physical and painful. You know the old expression it felt like someone hit me in the gut. Well that's real. Even if you are at peace with the actual decision you have all the emotions.

I agree completely with your explanation of the feeling. It will never, never be easy to lose our cats. I am so sorry for those of you that may be facing this in the near future. I hope us forum members can be here for you in your time of grief. Your local humane societies also may run support group programs for when you have lost a loved one. (Yes our cats always count as loved and cherished ones in our life </3) They may also have support groups for people with terminally ill pets.

I did utilize the support group during my heavy grieving. It was nice and pleasant, we all talked about our animal babies and shared photos and stories about their lives. I think that it benefited me, to see people in person that were also grieving so hard over the loss of their pets. Like it's been brought up, it's really hard when there are the societal implications that they are "just cats" and it was very nice to interact with and feel validated by others that knew that they were and never will be "just" anything.

 

[kittens mom]

I agree completely with your explanation of the feeling. It will never, never be easy to lose our cats. I am so sorry for those of you that may be facing this in the near future. I hope us forum members can be here for you in your time of grief. Your local humane societies also may run support group programs for when you have lost a loved one. (Yes our cats always count as loved and cherished ones in our life </3) They may also have support groups for people with terminally ill pets.

I did utilize the support group during my heavy grieving. It was nice and pleasant, we all talked about our animal babies and shared photos and stories about their lives. I think that it benefited me, to see people in person that were also grieving so hard over the loss of their pets. Like it's been brought up, it's really hard when there are the societal implications that they are "just cats" and it was very nice to interact with and feel validated by others that knew that they were and never will be "just" anything.

The only real support I got was here on TCS family members don't regard cats as worthy pets. A few support groups were simply not equipped to deal with our situation. Kitten was blinded and then died of the overdose given to her by a veterinarian. I did not need to be told to forgive and move on.

 

[kskatt]

One very important part of euthanasia, being with your cat. The idea of holding your baby and looking into his/her eyes, talking lovingly as they leave this world, is a beautiful thing. If you can do that, it's great. In a conversation with my vet, she said there have been people who should not have been there. We all know how our babies pick up on our emotions. It takes so very much strength to hold back the tears, to talk without choking up. We want our babies to pass on peacefully, not upset because we lose it. It really is something that deserves a lot of thought before we go through it. I'm not very good at it, I can pull off being there, not much more. I wish I could be everything beautiful for my babies, but I'm not quite that strong.

 

[kittens mom]

One very important part of euthanasia, being with your cat. The idea of holding your baby and looking into his/her eyes, talking lovingly as they leave this world, is a beautiful thing. If you can do that, it's great. In a conversation with my vet, she said there have been people who should not have been there. We all know how our babies pick up on our emotions. It takes so very much strength to hold back the tears, to talk without choking up. We want our babies to pass on peacefully, not upset because we lose it. It really is something that deserves a lot of thought before we go through it. I'm not very good at it, I can pull off being there, not much more. I wish I could be everything beautiful for my babies, but I'm not quite that strong.

That's why I described it as stepping outside myself. After the vet said she was gone I really let it out. And it's why we didn't spend an hour sitting in the room with her like we would have liked. She was a high stress cat and once she would get worked up it was all out war over everything. I didn't want her last moments to be struggling while we tried to hold her still. My mind will randomly play that moment where she went limp. The sight of that little tiny veterinarian carrying my 14lb cat like a baby down the hallway. The sight of her on the cart at the crematorium and the sight of her ashes ( still remarkably cat shaped) when they came out. But I would rather damage myself for eternity than let anyone hurt her or disrespect her little body for one second.

 

[servals]

The only real support I got was here on TCS family members don't regard cats as worthy pets. A few support groups were simply not equipped to deal with our situation. Kitten was blinded and then died of the overdose given to her by a veterinarian. I did not need to be told to forgive and move on.

In your situation, definitely not. What happened to Kitten was despicable and nothing that could have been soothed since it was pure negligence that took her away from you early. I don't know if I'd ever be able to.. "forgive and forget" if that happened to one of my cats. I would have taken the negligent vet to court, too. That is another level of grief that not many of us can fully comprehend. Kitten didn't die anything close to naturally, there was no disease at fault, there was a person at fault. I am so sorry.

The support groups mainly helped me because I knew it was Dave's time, as he was 18 years old and had kidney disease. It might be able to help others in similar, more "normal" circumstances surrounding pet loss, too. I hope so anyway.

 

[kskatt]

kittens mom, what do you do with the anger? I can't lose the desire to see a certain "vet" hanging from a meathook. The anger at myself for not seeing what was happening, for not doing any of the things I could have done to stop it.
It feels horrible, but, please, everyone here, never have blind faith. Even if it's a clinic you've gone to for 30+ years, vets who have saved the lives of so many. Any time anything is done to your baby, verify, make sure it was done and done completely. Even the best vets can make mistakes, and there are some who should never be "vets". That "do no harm" is not part of their vocabulary.

 

[Loving Mickey]

Oh, this is such a touchy subject and very personal.
Everyone may have different opinions when it comes to euthanasia, and there is no right or wrong.
I have had several cats in my life over the years, and they all passed naturally.
My most recent loss was almost three years ago (feels like just yesterday, still very raw).
My beloved Mickey was always a healthy kitty until he wasn't.
It seemed like he became ill overnight and was gone about one month later.
Yes, he did pass naturally in my arms at home. It was what I needed to do, and I felt (in my heart) it is what my Mickey wanted.
My vet respected that and helped me keep Mickey as comfortable and pain free as possible.
Please don't anyone say or think that Mickey wasn't loved. My Mickey was my world, my heart. Not a day goes by that I don't still cry over his loss and miss him so very much.
Am I sorry that I decided to let him pass naturally? No.It was the best decision for me and my cat. If I had to do it over again, I would make that same decision.
But, that is me and the way I feel.
Like I said, it is a very personal decision, and no one can or should decide for you.
This is your pet, and only you know what is best, not a vet or anyone else.
I respect what any person does in regards to their own pet.
I do know that whatever choice we make, is the right choice for us.
We do everything for our pets out of pure LOVE!
That is what is important in the end!

 

[kittens mom]

Oh, this is such a touchy subject and very personal.
Everyone may have different opinions when it comes to euthanasia, and there is no right or wrong.
I have had several cats in my life over the years, and they all passed naturally.
My most recent loss was almost three years ago (feels like just yesterday, still very raw).
My beloved Mickey was always a healthy kitty until he wasn't.
It seemed like he became ill overnight and was gone about one month later.
Yes, he did pass naturally in my arms at home. It was what I needed to do, and I felt (in my heart) it is what my Mickey wanted.
My vet respected that and helped me keep Mickey as comfortable and pain free as possible.
Please don't anyone say or think that Mickey wasn't loved. My Mickey was my world, my heart. Not a day goes by that I don't still cry over his loss and miss him so very much.
Am I sorry that I decided to let him pass naturally? No.It was the best decision for me and my cat. If I had to do it over again, I would make that same decision.
But, that is me and the way I feel.
Like I said, it is a very personal decision, and no one can or should decide for you.
This is your pet, and only you know what is best, not a vet or anyone else.
I respect what any person does in regards to their own pet.
I do know that whatever choice we make, is the right choice for us.
We do everything for our pets out of pure LOVE!
That is what is important in the end!

Every circumstance is going to be different. A failing but otherwise healthy cat may do well with palliative care while others may be impossible to even pill, won't eat or drink. Some conditions cause less pain.
Sometimes a veterinarian has very good input and can advise you if a natural death is feasible. It really is something that is between a vet and the pets guardian.

 

[IndyJones]

I agree it does depend on the individual situation. In some cases hospice may be too much for a person to handle where as in others such as my Hector it really is better for all involved.

Hector was still alert and not suffering and I was able to manage her needs at home without the need for intensive care such as dialysis or chemo. She just needed help with her hygiene and toileting and getting around. I also fed her by hand.

Just like elderly people, some animals age more gracefully than others.

 

[kskatt]

I really do respect the vet I have now, that's why I'm so happy to have conversations with her. She said it is rare for a natural death to be free of suffering. Perhaps that was prior to Hospice and improved palliative care. And with so many cats, so many have to be dying at any given time, rare could still be a big number. If I run into a situation that I felt it would work for any animal, I would do it in a heartbeat.

 

[kittens mom]

I really do respect the vet I have now, that's why I'm so happy to have conversations with her. She said it is rare for a natural death to be free of suffering. Perhaps that was prior to Hospice and improved palliative care. And with so many cats, so many have to be dying at any given time, rare could still be a big number. If I run into a situation that I felt it would work for any animal, I would do it in a heartbeat.

I've had a number of friends that were veterinarians and one of the ongoing concerns is not that it's impossible it's that most humans are sadly not dedicated to or even aware of the work a dying animal can create for them. Their first duty is to the pet and if there is a sense perhaps that the owner doesn't really know what they're getting into perhaps they might push euthanasia a bit more.

 

[cheeser]

I've had a number of friends that were veterinarians and one of the ongoing concerns is not that it's impossible it's that most humans are sadly not dedicated to or even aware of the work a dying animal can create for them. Their first duty is to the pet and if there is a sense perhaps that the owner doesn't really know what they're getting into perhaps they might push euthanasia a bit more.

In my very humble opinion, this is one of the reasons why I feel it's a good idea to discuss these sorts of things with our vet long before our fur babies get desperately ill. That way both we and the vet can get an idea re: what to expect from each other, and if it doesn't look like our views are compatible, then we have time to develop a relationship with another vet before we're confronted with a crisis.

For example, if I tell my vet, "Look, I have aging parents, and 30+ years of caring for pets with chronic and terminal illnesses. As we say here, 'This ain't my first rodeo.' I know there will be tough days ahead, but I'm willing to go that extra mile with my babies, and beyond. I used to work in the medical profession, so I'm not squeamish, and have no problem wiping up vomit, poop, pee, blood, or learning how to perform any procedure I can do at home to provide the best quality of life I can for my pets."

Then if their response is something like, "Oh, you just think you can handle it. It's better for everyone if you go ahead and put your dog or cat down now before things get rough," or tell me that pain meds aren't appropriate for end-of-life care because animals don't feel pain like humans do, I run for the hills and go look for another vet.

Fortunately, end-of-life care has greatly improved, and there are more options available these days for our pets to alleviate their pain and suffering in their final days. However, sometimes there just reaches a point where even that is no longer enough.

 

[jtomalin]

Our kitten has been suffering from some type of neurological disease since she was 4 months in December. She's recovered, only to relapse. I'm not sure if we're delaying the inevitable, however there are a few reasons why we're holding off on euthanizing our Ana.

- She cannot walk (except for some rare occurrences), she still has feeling in her legs and will move them, but no coordination.
- She still has an appetite. Her eyes light up for food, and can eat if a plate is put by her or can eat with assistance.
- Needs to be syringe fed water
- She doesn't have any seizures and doesn't seem to be in pain
- Needs to be brought to the litter box, in some cases she has mustered up the energy to walk towards the litter box and go potty near it.

Quality of life she cannot walk, but she still has the ability to do everything else. Has her good days and bad days. We're giving her all the love and attention we can, but can't wrap our heads around euthanizing her if she isn't in pain.

 

[happilyretired]

When I struggled with the idea of ending the life of my first cat, I read some online comments from people who had experienced the procedure, and one comment stayed with me: "A good death is the last gift you can give to your beloved pet."

Yes, the decision is awful and fraught with guilt, regret, etc., but I just ended the life of my CRF cat last week, and knowing how he was suffering was enough for me.

I think a good vet can help. With my first cat, I was in tears and asked my wonderful vet, "Am I making the right decision?" He responded, "I'm the animal's advocate, and if I didn't think this was the right decision, I'd be arguing with you--and I'm not."

The vet won't make the decision for you--but they can be comforting. For example, with this recent cat with whom we tried SubQ, etc., my vet finally said, "The decision is yours, but I will come whenever you call and will not object in any way." What she was basically saying is that she knew it was 'almost' time, but as the animal's constant companion, I was in the best position to know when it should happen. I'd hoped to get a few more days with him than I did, but when it was time, I knew it. To keep him alive beyond that would be to make him suffer so that I wouldn't have to 'decide.'

In my opinion, that's selfish.

 

[kissthisangel]

I've never really had pets until the last couple of years. Sure I've had fish when I was younger and I once had a Hamster. My OH and his mum had a dog when we got together. An old cantankerous Jack russell, he did not like anyone apart from his family really, certainly not me. I wouldn't take any bad behaviour when I walked him. Bark we stop, pull we stop etc don't get me wrong I loved the dog dearly, I just wouldn't take bad behaviour when I knew he could be a model dog. He also had bad kidney and liver problems and could only eat chicken and rice no treats or anything. Sadly he deteriorated very quickly, he went quite blind in a short space of time and developed arthritis, he was unable to take himself to the toilet quickly, and you could really see that he was affected by this because he would often go on the floor and then struggle to cover it. His condition carried on unchanging for a while before he had to cross the rainbow bridge. I can understand why the decision to have him euthanased took such a long time,being such a difficult one, I think it may have been fairer to come to the decision sooner. My mum on the other hand couldn't understand why we were so upset when my OH's mum(owner) made the decision and we all had to say goodbye before he went to the vet.

My cats are only young (2 and 1) and I hope they live until they're at least 18 and die at home, but I do think that euthanesia is often kinder to prevent the suffering of our pets in later life.