My wife and I have been struggling with something for the past two weeks now and I know that this site is primarily women *not that I have anything against mens opinions* This is the scoop, we both lost our jobs over two years ago now and have been full-time college students for all of this time. My wife will graduate this spring with an associates degree in accounting and I will graduate in June of '08 and providing I pass the certification exam I will be a Registered Respiratory Therapist. Our youngest daughter is 20 and has two children, Jordan will be two years old this coming Sunday. Our grand-daughter was born last August. She and the babies father have been off-and-on.......repeatedly. During the past 24 months (she has lived with us 18 of those months). They tried living together, but haven't been able to work things out. She moved back in with us in the middle of August, 2006, when Aaralyn was all of two weeks old. Due to the way that the plant that we both worked in relocated the plant operation we have had all of our schooling paid for....thankfully. Our unemployment was also extended......also. Long story short, my wife's unemployment ran out the first of this year. I had told our daughter that when it did run out that we were going to have to go and see if we could get any assistance.....such as food stamps. She didn't say anything and I'm not real sure that she believed that we would......BUT.....we had to do something to try to make ends meet and having paid taxes our whole life I find NO SHAME in receiving food stamps. We went down and talked to the local DHHR office and found out that with my wife and I as well as our daughter and two grandchildren living with us also that we could receive some food stamps, I thought that this was a good thing. When we were signing up the lady told us that our daughter was still receiving food stamps and that her address had never changed......all the way back to last August. We didn't say anything, not wanting to get her into any trouble. The lady somehow checked the balance left on her card and said that it would need to be spent before 5pm that evening because she was *killing* the card. We hurried home and told our daughter what had happened and she freakin' BLEW UP....her comments were....What is (the babies father) gonna do??? Do you guys ever think about him??? Well....actually, we were unaware that she was still receiving food stamps and giving him 50% of them. She gathered up the children and a few clothes.......and we haven't seen her or the kids since. She did a lot of ranting and raving on the way out about how Jordan liked us better than he did his own Mom. Never.....I say...NEVER, have we ever tried to take her place as either of the childrens parents. We love them just as much as if they were our own, but let her do the parenting to the best of her ability. She has since only stopped by and got some of her clothes, NOTHING for either of the kids has been taken from our house. It isn't because we won't allow it, its because she apparently doesn't want or need it. Unless she has bought the kids some more clothes I know that they don't have enough. My wife and I have cried ourselves to sleep ..........to many times to mention over the past few weeks.......thinking all kinds of crazy things like mainly, "What do the kids think?" What does she tell Jordan when he asks for his Ma Maw...or Pa Paw? We have made an appointment with a lawyer for tomorrow to see what rights that we have as "Grand-Parents". I just want what is best for the kids........and feel that WE haven't done anything wrong. I also know that we have shown nothing but pure unconditional love to our daughter as well as the grandchildren. What are we supposed to do.......pretend that our hearts weren't ripped right out of our chest when she doesn't allow us to even see or talk to the kids. I am bull-headed........and don't know what is the BEST thing to do.......or the way to handle this situation. What I do know is that both I and my wife DESERVE to be a part of those kids lives, and I'm not laying down and playing dead. I just want some visitation rights for us.....is that wrong of me? PLEASE be honest and if you have any questions.......please just ask and if I know the answer I will reply. If nothing else........pray for what is in the "Childrens Best Interest"...........I'm just hoping and praying that this works out in the end.......and I truly believe that things happen for a reason, I'm just dumb-founded as how this is in the best interest of ANYONE.
Winter Hawk
Winter Hawk