Encouraging Snuggling/petting

[Aj2015]

hello! I have an almost 4 month old male kitten that I have had in my home since he was a week old. He is a wonderful addition to our house and I absolutely love him.

My question is about socializing him. I have had cats growing up, but I absolutely love raising, training and bonding with dogs and have less experience in the cat world. My kitten has lots of energy and loves to race around the house, play with my golden retriever and climb on everything. He is rambunctious, which I understand is normal for a kitten!

I struggle to know what to do (or if there is anything to do) to encourage him to be a snuggler/lap cat/or just seek out petting. I know that he is going to be playful at this age, but I want to do what I can now at this “moldable” stage of life to encourage him to enjoy human attention. He is very good at letting me pick him up and carry him around for short times. If he is sleepy, he enjoys being pet, chin and ear scratches. And if I have been out of the house for a while, he runs up at my return meowing, throws himself on the ground and purrs while I pet him. So he does show enjoyment for attention, but never climbs into my lap and does not care to be held in my lap for any length of time. Much of the time he doesn’t seem to want petting, mainly because he wants to go play! He is wonderful about not scratching me and rarely tries to bite at my fingers. He’s a wonderful little kitten, but I hope for him to enjoy snuggling more as he grows up

All of this to ask, is there anything I could be doing to help him enjoy human interaction more as he grows up? Or should I expect that to develop naturally? Or will this most likely be his personality? I have tried to treat him when I approach him at times, although I had issues with diarrhea and stopped giving them. They seemed to be the culprit :/ I have experience with socializing puppies, but I understand kittens are different. Thank you in advance!

 

[Furballsmom]

he runs up at my return meowing, throws himself on the ground and purrs while I pet him.

Wow, this is marvelous!!

I think that if you can continue what you are doing, and regarding lap time, see how his personality develops. The energy levels are too high now, I think, but as he matures he may become more appreciative of laps .

 

[ArtNJ]

I would start making some sort of call noise when you come home and start petting him. A coo, a click, it doesn't matter. Same when you pet him when he is tired. Once he links the noise with petting, you can go to his favorite spot to sleep and tap on it and make the noise. Basically, you are making the offer clear to him. This is better than picking him up and putting him in the lap, because if he isn't in the mood, that is actually negative lap reinforcement. Linking a call noise with petting lets him know you are offering, but leaves him in charge and thus avoids this downside. Do try this in his favorite spot(s) first, as cats often link a spot to petting as well. After you have everything working, you can try using the noise to expand to a different spot. You can also work treats into the process if you like, but it isn't necessary.

 

[Aj2015]

Thank you both!! I am hopeful that as he gets older and more relaxed he will enjoy being in my lap. I will definitely start to use the call sound idea so he can associate it with being pet. He really enjoys laying next to me, just not on my lap so hopefully that naturally changes as he matures.

 

[Aj2015]

This is him all curled up by my leg while I worked on my computer.

 

[Furballsmom]

oh my GOODNESS, look at that smile!! THAT is one contented cat, good for you, and my guess is that it won't be much longer and he'll discover the wonderfulness of your lap

 

[duncanmac]

He's a cutie but you can't make a cat into something he is not. We have three and we do our best to encourage them to be cuddly cats in a couple of ways. First, as best we could from when we first got them, we would pick them up, scratch them, pet them, play with them and as much as possible physically interact with them. Second, we stop doing that shortly after it starts to annoy them but not immediately. I drag it out for an extra 3-5 seconds. I think this lets them know that they can get away without being restrained or chased so the interaction can be more on their terms.

This has mostly worked (except to a lesser degree with the former feral). Of the three, I can pick up and carry one around the house all day without him minding, one I can pick up but she doesn't like being carried around and the former feral is firmly planted on the floor. Same thing with laps - one is up on our laps often for long naps, another will come up and sit when she wants but if you put her on your lap, no matter what, she's out of there.

Right now, if it is summer where you are, don't be discouraged that he isn't on your lap - he might just be too hot.

 

[She's a witch]

Be careful what you wish for: I've stayed home today, it's super hot outside and inside, and I'm stuck with 12lbs of heated fur on my lap. I haven't eaten for hours despite the lunch time, I desperately need to pee, I'm dying of thirst, but I won't break the sacred rule: once you have a cat on your lap, you don't move.

One of my cats reminds me of your, she didn't like petting when she was a kitten, it has changed a bit last year when she was 1.5yo, she's way more cuddly, asking for belly strokes etc, although she'll never come to sit on my lap (but maybe it's because my lap is constantly occupied by the second creature...). So if I were you, and if I really wanted a cuddly snuggler, I'd adopt another lap cat kitten of 5-6 months -at this age the personality is a bit more predictable. Plus your kitten would have a company of his own kind.

 

[Aj2015]

oh my GOODNESS, look at that smile!! THAT is one contented cat, good for you, and my guess is that it won't be much longer and he'll discover the wonderfulness of your lap

Aww thank you so much!! I love him and I just know he was meant to be part of our little family. I so appreciate your encouragement and advice!!

 

[Aj2015]

He's a cutie but you can't make a cat into something he is not. We have three and we do our best to encourage them to be cuddly cats in a couple of ways. First, as best we could from when we first got them, we would pick them up, scratch them, pet them, play with them and as much as possible physically interact with them. Second, we stop doing that shortly after it starts to annoy them but not immediately. I drag it out for an extra 3-5 seconds. I think this lets them know that they can get away without being restrained or chased so the interaction can be more on their terms.

This has mostly worked (except to a lesser degree with the former feral). Of the three, I can pick up and carry one around the house all day without him minding, one I can pick up but she doesn't like being carried around and the former feral is firmly planted on the floor. Same thing with laps - one is up on our laps often for long naps, another will come up and sit when she wants but if you put her on your lap, no matter what, she's out of there.

Right now, if it is summer where you are, don't be discouraged that he isn't on your lap - he might just be too hot.

Thank you for the words of wisdom! I recognize that he is going to be who he is going to be, but if I could find ways to encourage an enjoyment of snuggling I wanted to make sure I was doing the right things.
I like your idea of picking him up and interacting with him and slightly stretching his tolerance for that. I’ve been trying to do that with carrying him around and it seems to be going well. It is summer here, and I didn’t even think about it being too hot to want to curl up in my lap!

 

[Aj2015]

Be careful what you wish for: I've stayed home today, it's super hot outside and inside, and I'm stuck with 12lbs of heated fur on my lap. I haven't eaten for hours despite the lunch time, I desperately need to pee, I'm dying of thirst, but I won't break the sacred rule: once you have a cat on your lap, you don't move.

One of my cats reminds me of your, she didn't like petting when she was a kitten, it has changed a bit last year when she was 1.5yo, she's way more cuddly, asking for belly strokes etc, although she'll never come to sit on my lap (but maybe it's because my lap is constantly occupied by the second creature...). So if I were you, and if I really wanted a cuddly snuggler, I'd adopt another lap cat kitten of 5-6 months -at this age the personality is a bit more predictable. Plus your kitten would have a company of his own kind.

Haha, you are so right! I have had cats in the past that would settle into your lap and be content to sleep there for hours! I do hope you were able to escape at some point lol.
While the idea of another precious kitten is quite tempting, it isn’t a wise choice for me currently. I will be adding another golden retriever puppy to my home in a few years (I never want to lose my golden and be without a dog again. Selecting a new puppy while mourning my last one just didn’t work well. So I intend to always have two dogs several years apart) all that to say, my home would go from me and 2 pets to me and 4 pets in a few years and that’s a little much haha. I want to have the money and time to devote to each of them the way they deserve.

But it really is adorable how much my golden and kitten love each other. They take naps together, play together and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. That has been a fun relationship to watch develop.

 

[Furballsmom]

I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE reading about this kind of situation - how absolutely charming, and wonderful, and I think all of you are so very fortunate in each other!