Don't want to be held

[dejolane]

I have 2 cats Bella who is almost 3 yrs and Thunder is about 7 months. I have 1 problem with each of the cats. Thunder will let you pick her up but then about 5 seconds later she starts growling and wants down. They both are indoor cats and are very gentle.

And everytime my son comes around Bella, she hisses at him. What can I do ?

 

[three cat night]

What seems to help so many different behaviors in cats that are not agreeable (like biting, attacking your feet, crying) is a good one on one play fest , I mean playing with a cat toy like the stick with dangling feather that they can chase all over the place. Your son could enjoy this. Getting the cats to jump up the wall using a laser pointer, all exercises that get some energy burned makes a cat able to relax more. When you pick up the cat , do it over a cabinet( or table etc) and just set him down before he starts struggling and then offer a treat. Remember to make his getting down to be your idea, not his. Do this routinely and make it a desirable .act. A bored cat can show unwanted behaviors, they can't help it, reminds me of small kids when they get bored. At least give this a try , sometimes it helps a cat to interact with humans on a friendly level.
keep us posted.






Ekk

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Some cats just don't like to be held.  But Thunder is also still so young and its an energetic age.  My Noodles will sit in my lap but I can't ever really pick her up.  She comes to me on her terms and her terms only.  (Sure bribing with treats helps! 

  But that only lasts as long as the treats do...so seconds.)  I have had her for over 7 years, since she was a tiny kitten, and she has always been this way.  

How old is your son?  I have a toddler in the house and Noodles will sometimes hiss at her.  DD can be loud and gets so excited still when the cats come around.  I have had to intervene because Noodles started stalking DD before.  I described the behavior to a friend and she said it is like what Noodles would do if DD was another kitten.  She has never done more than hiss or swat DD's ankle (but she sometimes swats us just for walking by the cat tree too, my grumpy gal) besides the stalking thing.  I constantly reinforce to DD how to behave around the cats.  I give the cats places to escape to; meaning a high cat tree and gated off areas of the house.  I also have DD give both cats treats and sometimes to play with them.  Hopefully that is helping give them something positive to associate with DD.  My other cat just runs from DD and gives her dirty looks.  My mother's cats don't mind DD.  2 will let her pet them and follow them, etc.  But we don't let her try to pick them up and we try to make sure she is gentle.  Mom's other cat will rub on DD but if she doesn't want the attention she goes off somewhere DD cant get to.

 

[StefanZ]

The key to Thunder is easy. Take him up, caress, let him down before he wants down. Or, at the latest, immediately he wants down.

This way he will be learn you respect him, and be taken up is pure joy, he will be let down when he wants.

He probably will never be a  held up cat, but he will learn to enjoy shorter held ups...

If you must have him up longer time, you can try with wrapping him in as a burrito.  Wrapped up they go submissive.

Of course, dont do it for your pleasure of carrying him. But perhaps, for examining him, or cutting nails.

The older and your kid.  It is more difficult to say, as we dont know the exact situation.

The child must of course have respect for the cat. Never to carry too long, not pet too long when the cat wants to be alone, etc...

A good tip is if the child comes with the food and water at least sometimes.

Yes, even changes in the litter...   Cat likes to have a clean litter, so they do appreciate litter-cleaner almost as much as food giver.

Good luck!

 

[dejolane]

  ThanksStephanZ,

My son is 29 yrs old. He visits every now & then. Bella just hates him maybe cause ''he left her''  and cats can understand that ? Joey tries to pet Bella  but she doesn't want anything to do with my son.

And on the subject of cutting the nails;; Thunder goes berserk. We both have to hold her down. I try to be gentle as possible but she struggles to get free and bites my husband and me. What can I do ?

dejolane

 

[dejolane]

Thunder is a girl but we call her (Key-Key) and she does answer to that name.

dejolane

 

[StefanZ]

And on the subject of cutting the nails;; Thunder goes berserk. We both have to hold her down. I try to be gentle as possible but she struggles to get free and bites my husband and me. What can I do ?

Ah, they dont like to be held down!

Holding steadily at scruff may help.

But in more difficult cases, the trick is to wrap them in a thick nice towel. Like a burrito, or toga.

thus helpless, they do submit.

This way, dont dont need to use force either, just hold steadily.

Last resort, may be, to blindfold.  Set something over the eyes.  I know some vets, and some forumit too, does it.   Compare when you are training birds of prey as hunter-birds... No violence there, but they use blindfolds.

And your son of 29, he can still try with giving her food, clean litter.

Very effective is if you leave for a journey some days now and then, and he is left as cat sitter, and alone takes care of her.

And if the kitty wants to sleep with a human in the bed,- kitty will come to him...

Good luck!

 

[dejolane]

I never thought of wrapping the cat like a burrito. I'll try it next time I have to trim the nails. Cheaper than paying $8.00  x 2 each time at the vets. Thanks.

dejolane

 

[orientalslave]

Clip them a claw at a time when the cat is asleep.  You might get 1 or 2 done each time so do it each day.  Don't worry about the back claws, they are not so sharp.

And make sure you have a good pair of clipper which cut quickly and cleanly.

 

[orientalslave]

My son is 29 yrs old. He visits every now & then. Bella just hates him maybe cause ''he left her''  and cats can understand that ? Joey tries to pet Bella  but she doesn't want anything to do with my son.

Cats don't think like that.  She doesn't know him.  He should leave her alone, not even look at her, and in time curiosity will get the better of her.  (in other words behaves like someone who doesn't like cats!)

It will help if he sits down, or sits on the floor.  She may well be happy to play with him with something like Da Bird - where the toy is on a string on a stick.

 

[dejolane]

Thunder is getting very nasty when it comes to holding her. What to do ?

dejolane

 

[MoochNNoodles]

My simple advice is to NOT pick her up.  She doesn't like it; don't do it.  Just like we can't make our children have a certain personality; cats come with their own too.  Let her come to sit in your lap if she wants; but that is it.  Play with her, pet her and all on her terms.  As I said in my first post; Noodles has to come to me on her terms.  She is happier that way and if she is happy then so am I.  Reserve picking her up for times like nail trimmings or when she HAS to be picked up and then use the techniques Stefanz mentioned; like wrapping.  

Is it disappointing to you that Thunder doesn't want to be carried around?  

 

[arlyn]

It's been my experience that most cats do not like to be picked up.

It's very nerve wracking for most cats when there is nothing under their feet.
 

 

[dejolane]

I'm not disappointed that I can't pick her up it doesn't bother me at all. It's just that she is a very cute kitten and I love to hold her.I got her from my daughter and she is a black & white kitten. I looked on the internet and it said they are the smartest cats around. I just want her to feel loved like Bella.

dejolane

 

[orientalslave]

Cats don't really understand loved like we do - after all they are cats, not humans.  Wanting her to 'feel loved' is asking her to respond like a human, not a cat.  If she feels secure and happy in the home and can interact with you as she wishes (given she is not being needy and over-dependant) that's pretty good.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I'm sure she feels loved.  It may just take time for her to show you how she wants to be loved or for you to be able to read her.  I wouldn't worry; it sounds like she has a happy home and everything a kitty needs.

 

[dejolane]

Thanks she does have everything she needs but one of those tall scratches forts I would love to get her and Bella. Thunder got my toilet paper again.

dejolane

 

[dejolane]

Well, this Saturday is Pics with Santa at our local vets. I just hope Thunder is in a good mood. Bella already had hers done.

dejolane

 

[mimi3908]

I have the same problem. Among my three cats, I have a female 4 year old named Emmi who is very shy and timid when we got her last year. For a long time just getting close to her was a challenge and whenever we tried to pet her, she displayed very defensive and scared posture. She is fine being petted now, but she still won't let us pick her up without kicking a fuss and clipping her nails is impossible. The one time I managed to get her to a vet, the vet and the assistant held her by the scruff and basically held her down for health check and clip her nails too. I guess they are pros and able to trim her nails no problem. I don't know if I can do what they do and haven't tried it yet. What I have tried to do nowadays is that when Emmi eats, and she loves to eat, I touch her paws frequently and lift her front legs up and she doesn't seem to care because she is too busy eating...my hope is that maybe she get use to me doing it and allow me to touch her and hold her in due time. I'm also looking for ideas but I've been told it could be matter of time if the kitty is ok with being held or it may never happen... so be it... she still a fantastic kitty who follows me around quite a bit but just doesn't like to be held.