Domestic Cat, a new neighbor - hungry, adorable, neglected... and... my feral

[sweetlilac]

I do have one more concern. I have noticed Sammie seems to be "bullying" Kitty a bit. This seems new. Is this normal? He stares her down, which I didn't make too much of, in the vein of "cats will do cat stuff", but it seems like today he doesn't want her sitting in her favorite seat? He's guarding her approach to it. I think she may be trying to call for my help, but... who can read cat sign language? Not me.

That may be a bridge too far, if this continues, or should I just let them work things out? I can't see Kitty being the "last cat out" no matter what. She really does live here, and actually was here first, even before me, so... even if she is a feral, I feel a certain protectiveness for her, even love. Even though I adore Sammie too.

 

[Jcatbird]

The scratching could be from a reaction to something. An allergy. I have one kitty that if even one flea bites her she itches for a while and may even get patchy fur. She is also sensitive to some foods. You may not have a flea issue at all. I treat mine too. I was using a treatement to kill the fleas but have switched to one that also kills their eggs. It has worked very well. If fleas are outside, the bad news is that they can come in your house without any cats. They just hitch a ride on any passing human. Treating the yard could be an option but it may not be necessary. A vet can tell you if there is a flea problem if you can’t see any.
Bullying is a common issue and may be a matter of the kitties establishing dominance. Your older baby may need your support a bit. If she is too old to hold her own, she really is at a point where coming inside, at least at night and during bad weather or if Sammie is not giving her any peace, is getting very important. If a cat is feeling poorly then sometimes other cats recognize this and feel they need to take the lead role. It isn’t cruelty but a natural action for the stronger ones to protect the space or a colony. Again, a vet could help. Adding another dot for Sammie to hang out that is similar to the spot he is trying to take can help. When my cats start competing for a spot I have found that shifting or adding things changes things. Even just putting some cardboard boxes outside can occupy a kitty for awhile. Most love boxes. Lol
If any of my tips help I am very happy. I know the struggles of trying to help kitties. I’m no kitty saint, ( thank you though! ) I’m just like you, I love them too. We do what we can.

 

[sweetlilac]

OKay, thank you.... I am having struggles! so many questions.
I appreciate everyone's support b/c I am a "pussy" for kitties of all ages, even if all i have is a feral who doesn't like me (though she has been warming up to me. )

Thanks for the comments on the scratching. It's been puzzling me. I guess I could ask the traveling vet or the neighbors, assuming I run into them or hear from them... what is their flea control method, their opinion on the scratching, etc?

I take Sammie in and he has the boundless energy of a two year old, scratches my carpets, knocks things over, etc... so beyond the flea concern, (haven't seen one yet, knock on wood) - I would treat him myself... but neighbors have gone radio silent re their cat. He just comes and goes at all hours so I am assuming they have no solutions and this is the new reality. It breaks my heart to see him pray for love on my steps of and on during the day and often evening.

Kitty is entrenched on her chair. I washed her "mat" after a soaking rain and now she won't use it. I don't understand feral cats too well. Sammie would kill for a mat (in fact I just bought him one, arriving tomorrow) and i will put out some boxes. Any other ideas for a lonely 2 y o kitty like Sammie? I can bring him in to play but must watch him the whole time lest he go all "Attica/Chernoble" on me.

in love still but ... seems like things are not stable at all, missing my quiet life with 3 ferals who minded there own business. Life moves on, eh? Now I have 2 lonely ones who probably could benefit from some company. How I wish they can work things out. I am setting up some warm homes for them and will try the box! Love that idea!!!

 

[fionasmom]

Most people who are not taking care of an animal will not admit it if anyone questions them as you have. It is too embarrassing and non PC to come out and say that they just don't want the cat and wish he would take a permanent hike, so they will usually act as if they are caring for the pet, or fond of it. It gets awkward and convoluted like it has for you. I don't blame you for wanting to stay on good terms with your neighbors since you live side by side. I am glad that you are arranging a place for Sammie to sleep and be warm. Years ago at my dad's house an elderly cat appeared on the front door step, hungry. I made her a bed and got her some food and she returned every night. One morning I found that she had passed away which was not unpredictable. I took her to my vet for cremation. About 2 days later a woman I had never seen rings the doorbell and asks about her pet cat. Not accusing me of anything, but suddenly concerned after almost letting her starve and freeze to death.

 

[sweetlilac]

Thank you. She seems to love the cat... but she DID go away for 5 days to another state which i only found out about when I texted her to let her know I was feeding it (in case it wasn't eating much at home) - she thanked me at least that time. My best guess: deeply torn between her fiance and her beloved cat.

Sammie eats like a horse, way more than Kitty, and also drinks about ten times more water than Kitty, If it were a person i would be worried... I have never seen such a thirsty cat! I would think diabetes? But?? naahhh crazy.... but so thirsty, in the winter? He's never peed indoors. I wish i could let the vet check them both out. I think i would be violating their "property" however. Maybe anxiety?...

I could text them and invite them to have the vet check out Sammie while he or she is over here, do teenage cats need checkups? I'd even be willing to pay to have him checked for fleas and the itching. And we are not rich but Sammie needs love, and someone to care for him, so much.... and he is so appreciative every time. I have rarely met a sweeter cat especially for a teenager cat.

We will have to let this play out i guess. I don't have the answers other than keep doing what I can. I tried making a bed inside an old cat condo but after having some food inside it (loves to eat, that Sammie!) he split. Thinking, maybe when i hook up the heat, Sammie might like it better in there. But it's dark in there! and i think Sammie likes hanging on the porch and watching ppl come and go... PPL TV, I call it! But it is due to rain today, he will get rained on on the porch with any wind at all, as will Kitty, who is a little tougher, I suspect.

 

[fionasmom]

Cats do make their own decisions about shelters but you are offering an option to Sammie and he might figure it out. The drinking would concern me and I would want to know the reason. Jamie is three and was diagnosed with a kidney issue at 2, so it can happen.

I have not seen most of these cat or even dog vs boyfriend/husband situations work out in favor of the animal. Not that he is going to be hurt, but the BF may figure it is resolved, cat basically not around much and it is fine with him.

 

[sweetlilac]

Thanks for responding! Well at least Sammie found a leak! and starting drinking from a place where water was dripping into a catch in our screen door. That's thirsty. Sammie ran off this AM after the gardener came with his blower (must have scared him) - he was sitting out all night. I have been hoping to set up a house for both cats. Two of them.

Now Kitty is missing. I hope this is normal. Usually she is begging for food and today... gone, wasn't here this AM. Either she is on a "walkabout" or feels unwelcome or I am just over-reacting and she will return. She is pretty clueless, so hopefully this is all it is...

Who knew this could be so complicated? I feel so sad for Sammie, and for Kitty too. I don't think either one of them is really happy with what is going on.

 

[sweetlilac]

Well the neighbor came over... to pick up her cat. We agreed... or I agreed... to not leave food out but to feed my feral, Kitty, and then take the food in. I'll do this twice a day, I guess.

So... even if Sammie comes over now, and begs for food in the middle of the day, I am to ignore him, so that "he can set a new routine". It's her (their) pet so I agreed, of course - Kitty finally came home, so at least that finally resolved.

I pointed out that he spent the entire day (and night) yesterday under a roof as it was pouring rain, and she said, that's because I am giving him food - he would have come home had it not been for this.

Don't know who is correct but... I do respect that she is the Mom, so I will accommodate her wishes.

This has been very hard on me, I wish none of this had ever happened.

 

[FeebysOwner]

I am so sorry! Well, OK don't give him food then, but she can't tell you HOW/WHEN to feed your own cat! Maybe at this point, you should prepare to bring KittyKat into your home? If she is inside, you - and she - have less to worry about what is outside.

I hope your neighbor is right, and that Sammie will stay nearby her if he can't find other food sources.

 

[sweetlilac]

I hear you... I think she means well and loves her cat, but when I pointed out the scratching and the thirst, and even the coyotes and food all around the neighborhood, she was unconcerned. It was (in her mind) simply a matter of my putting food out, and Sammie coming over here.

She didn't seem concerned about much else. Our food gone, all else will be ok. Even her own cat's issues I've observed...no big deal.

So... KittyKat has never been indoors - and my husband does NOT want an indoor cat, so... I think I will just move on with my life and get ready to break poor kitten Sammie's heart if/when, abandoned, he shows up here hungry and scared...and I ignore him.

I don't feel I have a choice any more. I hope she's correct and I send them both my blessings for the best possible outcome. Come spring, say March or so, I have to do this anyway, as the birds start feasting on the catfood.