Does My Cat Hate Me?

[karin123]

Hi all!
About a month ago, my boyfriend and I adopted a 2-year-old cat Ajax from the shelter. We adopted him mostly because of his character – his temporary owner said he was very calm and loved petting and cuddling. He is neutered and healthy according to the vet. In the first week he was just as described. We cuddled pretty much all the time, played a lot with his favourite toys, he got used to our apartment really quickly. The only thing I noticed was that he had these episodes of attacks a few times a day and also, he had stuffed nose and had a little trouble breathing. We took him to the vet, and she gave him medicine for his cold and I also showed her the video of the episode and she said that that’s probably feline hyperesthesia and as long as it’s not too bad we should not worry about it – and it really isn’t that bad, we try to stick to a strict schedule with eating and we try to keep any potential stressors to the minimum and he very rarely has these attacks anymore. His cold is now also healed and his nose is not stuffed anymore.

But in the last two weeks, his behaviour towards me suddenly changed. He is more and more aggressive, and whenever I try to pet him, he bites me. He never does that to my boyfriend, ever. I work from home, so I spend most of the day with him. I feed him and play with him the most. I’ve read a lot about cat aggression, but this doesn’t look anything like that playful aggression – he never bites me while we play. And also it’s not because of petting, because it’s not like I am petting him for 10 minutes and then he bites when he’s had enough. No, he attacks me sometimes when I only approach him, or when I try to pet him. I would understand it if he never liked petting, but I could do it for hours and he used to love it, and now all of a sudden he started attacking me. I don’t remember doing anything to cause this behaviour – never yelled at him, or hit him (obviously), or anything like that. I try saying “NO” every time he bites me, and then I walk away. But it doesn’t seem to work, since we’re not playing and he obviously doesn’t care if I walk away. And it’s also not like I am constantly trying to pet him or anything. We have a few play sessions, and then I leave him alone to sleep. I also thought it might be a health thing, but then again, he never bites or acts like that towards my boyfriend.
I know we don’t have him for a very long time, but I love him to death and I just want to handle this problem before it gets out of control. I'm really running out of ideas here, what else could I try to eliminate this behaviour? Getting another cat is not really an option, since he didn't really like the company of other cats in the shelter and he preferred to be alone, so I think this would only cause more chaos. I feel like he suddenly just started to hate me and I'm really getting desperate here. I would appreciate any thoughts on this matter.

 

[verna davies]

Who knows why cats do the things they do but I don't think your cat hates you. It could be that because you play with him, his aggression is part of playing in his mind and he doesn't realise that it is rough. Has he got any toys he can take it out on. One of my cats gets carried away in play and will bit me but I have a soft toy, a rat and when she starts to get rough I give her the rat and she takes it out on that.

 

[karin123]

Yeah I thought that this might be the problem at first as well, but the weird thing is that he actually never acts aggressively when playing, only when I try to pet him or even when I don’t even attempt to. That’s a good idea, I will buy him a few more soft toys and see if that might help, though it seems like something else might be the problem. Today he actually followed me around and started attacking my feet and not in a playful way at all (and he's not even a kitten anymore, he's over 2), it was actually quite scary. He’s never done anything like that before, I really hope this won’t become a regular thing.

 

[haleyds]

Okay so I've actually been seeing forums about this a lot recently. Since you stay at home with him all day he is most comfortable with you, he knows you very well- so therefore whenever he acts out it's towards you. It's kind of like when you're growing up and your sibling is mean to you but sweet to other kids that come over to the house. It's not that he hates you, in fact it's probably the opposite, he's so comfortable with you that he feels that there are no boundaries.
And the "attacks" are still most likely play, just misconducted and overly rough. My Balinese did not have any other litter mates and was taken from her mother too soon so she would attack my feet and break skin and really, really hurt me when she was younger. Of course I didn't think it was fun but she surely did, so we worked through it by redirected play- throwing a toy or a cat wand to get her away from my feet and eventually she stopped wanting my feet altogether.
Witb the petting I have no experience though, and someone on here I'm sure will be along to help with that. Best wishes, I know it can be very tiring to feel like your cat doesn't want anything to do with you.

 

[adrianne259]

Hey, I feel your pain Cats are strange creatures and very emotional. One thing I can advise is patience. I have a kitty I adopted about 4 years ago and we were inseparable. Then she started having health issues, I am taking her to the vet often and she practically runTs away from me now. She won't let me pet her, carry her etc. The only thing that you can do is to give him space. Try letting him come to you for cuddles and attention and stop any contact with him the moment he bites you. As I said, they can be very moody and he can be punishing you for something silly that you did or didn't do. All in all, be patient and don't despair. They change their attitudes towards us as they grow, so this can only be a phase.
Good luck!

 

[karin123]

haleyds I really hope that you're right and that he's just doing that cause he's comfortable with me. I'll just try to play with him as much as possible and I've already ordered some more toys for him and hopefully he'll take it out on them and not on me anymore.

adrianne259, I'll try that as well. I also feel like it really just depends on a day. Some days it's all good, and then another days he just keeps on biting anytime I come near him. I'll just give him some space as you suggested and hopefully this really is only a phase and he'll come around.

 

[catsknowme]

That is a tough issue. I had a cat whose feline hyperesthesia began the same way. She would lash out at the other cats, then at me, all random. I would present her with a toy flamingo for her to attack - she would really rip into that toy - it was almost as large as she was. The regular cat toys, such as the stuffed mice and smaller toys, were for pounce and play.
Eventually, she began attacking her tail and had to get medication. She disappeared after that, when she ran off on a pet sitter. It is a sad condition and I pray that your cat does not have that.
He may be distrustful about life because of too many changes. If so, vigorous play may help. I attach a realistic-squeak-mouse toy on a stretchy string to an old fishing pole so they get a full-room romp, try for lots of action, both in the air and along the floor, as if it is a cross between a bird and a mouse.

 

[karin123]

That is a tough issue. I had a cat whose feline hyperesthesia began the same way. She would lash out at the other cats, then at me, all random. I would present her with a toy flamingo for her to attack - she would really rip into that toy - it was almost as large as she was. The regular cat toys, such as the stuffed mice and smaller toys, were for pounce and play.
Eventually, she began attacking her tail and had to get medication. She disappeared after that, when she ran off on a pet sitter. It is a sad condition and I pray that your cat does not have that.
He may be distrustful about life because of too many changes. If so, vigorous play may help. I attach a realistic-squeak-mouse toy on a stretchy string to an old fishing pole so they get a full-room romp, try for lots of action, both in the air and along the floor, as if it is a cross between a bird and a mouse.

Hey, thanks for your reply! I wanted to wait for another week or two to see if anything I've tried helps. And some days everything's completely fine and he doesn't attack me. I try to play with him as much as possible, he enjoys all of the toys you suggested and runs around the appartment like crazy.. and I play with him until he gets tired a couple of times a day. I do this everyday, but the attack still happen every few days and they're getting worse and worse. I'm not sure what triggers them, but he gets into this attack-mode, follows me around the apartment and then attacks my legs/arms whatever. Sometimes it's so bad I actually have to cover myself with a blanket or something until he calms down cause I'm actually afraid of him.. My hands and legs are full of scratches and bites, and it's all from these attacks, it never happens during playtime or while I pet him. When he gets like that and my boyfriend is around, he can just say NO loudly and he stops completely (and I know that the cat is not afraid of him, the opposite, he adores my bf) And when I try to do the exact same thing it never ever works, and I have no idea what to do when he gets like that. I still think he has feline hyperesthesia, but the episodes are not happening very often lately, only every few days...

 

[catsknowme]

that is discouraging that your cat continues the attacks. It sounds as if he sees you as prey. Are you considering medications? If so, I would go back to the vet straightaway. Ajax can't possibly be happy like this, especially since he enjoyed being petted. You mentioned that he dislikes other cats - could it be that there are unneutered toms coming around, or foxes, or raccoons - sometimes cats get threatened/upset and have misplaced aggession. I am sorry that my tboughts are all over the place but I am trying to think of possible clues. I had my cats turn on each other for awhile - a dog had come into the yard & one cat was in the window snarling; when the other cat approached to investigate, he startled the first cat who turned on him in a fury, sparking a brawl that led to a feud for some while.
I applaud your dedication and love for Ajax - a lesser heart would have given up. Please keep us posted!

 

[karin123]

Ok so when I wrote yesterday's post I was still a bit under the affect of the latest attack, so I'll just put some thing into perspective today. Ajax is for 95% of the time just a normal, happy cat. I forgot to mention that the "biting part" when I approach him or try to pet him has almost completely stopped, or it's very subtle (just like that gentle bite when a cat has had enough of cuddling and gives you a sign to stop). He now again wants to be cuddled and often just comes to me and lie down on his back and you could rub belly and cuddle him until your arms hurt. We also play a lot as I mentioned and really for most of the time everything's fine. It's just that when these attack do happen, he becomes a completely different cat for that time, he literally looks like he's possessed (sounds ridiculous, it's just the easiest way to describe him when he's like that and the way he stares at me). I though about it being a misplaced aggression as well, but I'm not so sure. He's an indoor cat and we live on the second floor in an apartment in the city, so when he looks out the window he would mostly just see dogs that are walked and maybe some birds, but rarely any other animals. I am not considering medications yet, presicely because of the reason that most of the time he's just fine. He purrs a lot, constantly rubs against our legs, plays with his toys even by himself, etc.. so before I start with any medication I will just wait for some more time and try to figure out what could cause these attacks. I will have to pay even more attention to see what happens in the time leading to the attack, and hopefully there's something that can be done about it.

 

[susieqz]

um, you ''say no''.
this may not show enow aggression on your part.
i'm sure many here will disagree with me, but i find SHOUTING no works better, to show i'm serious.
if you never raise your voice for other things, but only for this one behavior, he will understand a difference.

 

[catsknowme]

My FHE cat's pupils would become dilated and her the tip of her tail would wag, later on she developed skin twitching, like a horse trying to shake off flies. Sometimes she would growl and as the condition progressed, she would hiss and trot off in spurts. Eventually, she would sometimes attack her tail and sometimes people or the other cats. It is such a sad condition - sometimes I get neuropathy from a neck injury and it feels like insects are crawling, biting and stinging me and it is so awful but at least I can take limited amounts of cymbalta and neurotin; research for cats isnt as advanced.

 

[catsknowme]

i found this article online but i got the idea from a Catwatch magazine offer ( i intend to subscribe) :
Hyperesthesia Syndrome
It turns out that gabapentin (neurotin) is now included in the treatment arsenal for kitties.