I know the first few days can be frustrating. But, you will soon see progress with Nook. It is completely normal for it to take a few days for the cat to calm down when crated (even if they are very social!)
I am happy to see that the crating is working with Nacho BUT for those others who are either unable to get a sufficient crate or prefer to try the small-room approach, I think it is important that MsAimee's option is also considered. I have a small bathroom that works wonders after a few day - kitties like to hide behind the toilet & being around the flushing noise seems to acclimate them to loud household noises. I am sure to keep the toilet lid down, by the way.
If the crating method only makes him more frustrated and angry, then you can try the method that I have, that has worked for me. Confine the cat to one room that contains his litter box, food bowl, water, toys, and a place for him to hide like a cat carrier, closet, pet house, etc. Leave a radio on with soft music-pop or classical-24/7. Go into the room several times a day to interact with food treats and try to engage in play. After a few weeks, you will notice a large difference.
There are many different ideas about how to socialize feral and semi-feral cats, and different methods work for different cats and humans. See what works best for you and your cat.
I really think that forcing him to eat out of your hand without establishing trust first is wrong. Bringing food to him and staying in the room is a better option. Forcing life or death because your impatient is very impractical. He has life if he eats from your hand and death if not that is very selfish. I've taken care of 23 ferals who took over 6 months to come near me. For over 2.5 years reared 8 litter from them. I'm new to this site and new to a feral or stray in my home but am extremely knowledgeable about cats, dogs and animals in general. Forcing them and not willing to be patient will and can break a bond before it starts.Okay so you are going to be starting from scratch unfortunately.
You don't sound happy to be owning a semi-feral teenager, and this is what you've got.
I'm sure the breeder you got him from was not interested in producing social cats to sell, which is why he is the way he is.
I feel for all of her past, present and future litters as well as the adults she has breeding
The first thing you want to do is take his carrier outside and give it a good spraydown with household cleaner such as 409 or any other, especially the inside.
Rinse well and allow it to dry.
This removes all scents he has left behind, fear and adrenaline scents linger on for a long time and you want the memory to fade.
You will want to crate him, elevate it, as this is much more comforting to a cat. Have him in a calm, quiet room, where the least amt of traffic and noise are, yet not isolated either. He needs to see you as much as possible.
You will want to talk in a soft, sweet and non threatening voice any time you are around him.
The crate needs a litterbox, and water dish opposite the box, and a soft, comfy bed.
You are not going to leave food inside, not at all. By the time he is ready to be allowed to eat on his own, he will be out of the crate and in that same room only.
All food will come from you.
He will very quickly associate nothing but good from you.
Wait until he is hungry enough to start the feeding process.
You will offer him food in your hand, and he must eat it from your hand and allow you to pet him at the same time with your other hand. If he pulls back and won't let you, you pull back the food. Period.
Leave and try again a bit later. He is not going to starve himself, trust that one!
When he is hungry enough, this will overpower his fear of being pet.
You are not going to put your hand in front of him, you will make him want to come to you.
Once you achieve this, you're on the road.
Pets should progress into full body pets, then into swiping your hand under him as if to pick him up.
Remember as soon as he pulls back, so does the food.
Once you are able to pick him up in the crate, you will progress to picking him up and holding him against you.
You will need to learn how to properly scruff him too. This allows total control over a cat if done correctly.
YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER BE SCRATCHED UP AND BIT LIKE THAT AGAIN!
That's horrible!
Imagine a pile of M&M's on a table. Try to pick up as many as possible with your left hand assuming you are right handed.
Your fingers aren't separated, they are together with only a slight gap in between or the M&M's will slide in between your fingers right? You are using your thumb and fingers to swipe as much skin at the back of the neck as possible, then drawing your hand closed. Don't pinch a small amt, use that good amt of skin in your hands as control.
If the cat, when raised up to lift starts squirming around then use the floor, while holding the scruff, push the cat towards the floor, this gives TOTAL control.
Spend as much time as possible around him, talking out loud, singing, reading, whatever.
He will become a friend to you rather than some fearful little creature, he will learn all good things from you, and trust you.
When he is ready, he can come out of his crate and into one room. The idea is to slowly give him more space rather than so much out of his safe zone.
Remember this, anytime you see his progress stall or revert, go back a couple steps, this is normal.
Thank you, and I agree that we don't all have the same methods or ideas, and that's okay too. Many years back when I was first learning about taming, believe me, I tried many different approaches, had this person tell me one way, and another person telling me another way.
It should be clear to those of us reading/following this thread that Nacho is lacking experience in taming, so rather than post negatives about crating, which may cause her to question it, why not be supportive?
It's not a matter of being negative or non-supportive, but of people offering different methods that have worked for us in socializing ferals. If the crating method is working for Nacho and progress is being made, then s/he should continue along with this method. I do feel that forcing a cat to eat out of a human's hand is unnecessary and very stressful for the cat, especially for feral or semi-feral cats. Some of them have not had good experiences with human hands--people have tried to hit them or grab them--and some of them never feel comfortable being petted, even after being socialized enough to stay indoors. Dry food at least should be always available in the crate so you're not forcing a cat to either go hungry or instantly (within a few days) trust a human enough to eat from his/her hand. I can see offering tasty treats from one's hand, but other food should be available. I'm sorry that we disagree on this. I hope that on this forum that people have the freedom to sometimes disagree, and to discuss different methods and ideas about caring for and socializing ferals.
Again, everyone here has the right to their opinions, but we are about support and not outright stating that someone's advice is WRONG or CRUEL or SELFISH.I really think that forcing him to eat out of your hand without establishing trust first is wrong. Bringing food to him and staying in the room is a better option. Forcing life or death because your impatient is very impractical. He has life if he eats from your hand and death if not that is very selfish. I've taken care of 23 ferals who took over 6 months to come near me. For over 2.5 years reared 8 litter from them. I'm new to this site and new to a feral or stray in my home but am extremely knowledgeable about cats, dogs and animals in general. Forcing them and not willing to be patient will and can break a bond before it starts.
I'm so glad you posted this update!
I have tried the safe room method for 2 weeks and I was not really getting much progress to be honest; he just hid or crouched in the corner and hissed the whole time. I guess different methods for different cats.
I have to admit I am seeing faster results with this method and he looks less stressed out with our movements around the house now that he is up high and can see we will not hurt him.
He is eating from my hand fine, seems quite comfortable and does not seem that bothered about being smoothed then.
Although I still have not been able to smooth him when not feeding yet. I get the evil eye as if he is wondering what am I going to do......then I wonder what he is going to do so I pull away.
I did get hissed at this evening, first time in a few days, so I took the food away.
He got up off his bed and was wondering what had happened and where had the food gone. I let him cool done for 10 mins and the he seemed ok.
He still looks freaked out occasionally but it is not as often as he did before.
I honestly feel his stress levels have lowered a bit.