Difficult Ethical Question On Euthanesia Of Beloved Cat, Help

[1 bruce 1]

Ara11, thinking of you a lot lately.
Please let us know how things are going, whenever you can.
Hugs, friend...

 

[1 bruce 1]

I have had to make that decision too many times but I look at their quality of life not quantity. I have to look at it as if I am doing it for them or for me, in terms of trying a different treatment, will it help them get better or feel better or just have the suffer a bit longer. I would rather they go a day early than suffer a day too long. That's probably because I made the mistake once of having one stay longer than he should have. That still haunts me. I hope you won't have to make that choice but if you do, I know that he will know you did so out of love.

Same here.
But I've experienced it the other side...did I take them sooner than they were ready?
No matter what we do, or when we do it, our calls on whether to let them go on their own or help them along is such a sick, sick sense of responsibility. It makes me wish I was a kid again and could make one of my parents make that choice for me...and take that part that wonders "what if" off of my hands. Adult-ing sucks in that way.
What if we leave them go too long...what if we take them before they're ready, etc. It drives us mad no matter what we choose or no matter what happens, and can haunt us and our dreams.

Keep in mind this isn't a judgment on anyone, anything, or any situation as ALL situations are different, just my experiences and personal, if not a bit silly, perspective.
(...pleasedon'tflameme.)

 

[ara11]

My most precious Puma was laid to rest this evening. This is tonight and I know I had him these extra weeks since Jan 18. He ate a bit each day to stay alive once I stopped the cardiac meds that made him nauseous and his blood pressure too low and once the antibiotics helped his infection. He tried to be with me and I went to him several times a day offering watered down food for him to lick a bit. He moved out of the garage window to his cat litter porch and then to his cat litter box, that I cleaned and set up for him, and then later today I couldn't find him and called him several times and ofcourse he answered as he always did/would and he came out from under some shelves deep in garage and had a dreadful limp with his leg folded in......the stroke I had been warned or a fall or a dozen things.....? I ran to call someone and in that brief time with his half falling down body he jumped into garage window where he had stayed the past few weeks and lay down his beautiful head. We spoke and I called a vet who would come to my home even tho it was "after hours" since I had promised Puma I would never take him in the box to a vet again because it was the only time he ever cried....he eased Puma out while I spoke to him how wonderful he was.....now my baby is gone.... how do I go to sleep? How do I go on?

 

[ara11]

yes, yes it does. My heart is wrapped around you both.

furballsmom, please keep your heart wrapped around us still. Puma is buried alone now but his spirit is forever and my heart is broken. Thank you

 

[Furballsmom]

Always, you all have my prayers and love.

 

[ara11]

Ara11, thinking of you a lot lately.
Please let us know how things are going, whenever you can.
Hugs, friend...

1Bruce1, I responded at end of my thread. I'm a bit lost right now, wondering how tomorrow is faced with one less loved cat on the earth?

 

[Kitten70]

So sorry to hear, tears in my eyes... every time a cat passes away. I am sure Puma will be in your heart forever. My thoughts are with you tonight.

 

[Furballsmom]

RIP sweet, loved Puma, you were a prince of cats.

 

[1 bruce 1]

My most precious Puma was laid to rest this evening. This is tonight and I know I had him these extra weeks since Jan 18. He ate a bit each day to stay alive once I stopped the cardiac meds that made him nauseous and his blood pressure too low and once the antibiotics helped his infection. He tried to be with me and I went to him several times a day offering watered down food for him to lick a bit. He moved out of the garage window to his cat litter porch and then to his cat litter box, that I cleaned and set up for him, and then later today I couldn't find him and called him several times and ofcourse he answered as he always did/would and he came out from under some shelves deep in garage and had a dreadful limp with his leg folded in......the stroke I had been warned or a fall or a dozen things.....? I ran to call someone and in that brief time with his half falling down body he jumped into garage window where he had stayed the past few weeks and lay down his beautiful head. We spoke and I called a vet who would come to my home even tho it was "after hours" since I had promised Puma I would never take him in the box to a vet again because it was the only time he ever cried....he eased Puma out while I spoke to him how wonderful he was.....now my baby is gone.... how do I go to sleep? How do I go on?

I've been wondering how you've been doing, and now I know why you've been quiet and when I saw my notifications I was immediately feeling sick without reading because I kind of knew.
I am so, so sorry my dear friend.
This was terribly unfair to you and Puma. Many here, myself included, have experienced the same unfairness and the same ridiculous situation with a young friend that failed quickly.
I could go on and on with all that stuff about "well, it was his time" and "time heals all wounds" and sometimes that helps....weeks, months after...but sometimes it does not. I know that feeling, as I've lost them young as well and it sucks. It just effing sucks, and is so unfair.
While it will be little consolation now, in a few months it might be so I'll throw this out there:
Lots of people hate cats. Many more dislike cats. A few others like cats enough to let them hang around, or allow them in their house. I'm active in the dog world, the working, show, and sport world, and people will spend 10's of thousands to save a dog that's un-savable but would sneer at the idea of spending $50 to help a sick cat that could be saved. It's ridiculous, and it's a shitty (pardon my french, mods please don't kill me) way to act when one considers themselves a "lover of animals/all creatures."
Those that are willing to exhaust their expenses on a sick cat are here. They post, they ask for help. The vent, they cry, like you have, and like I have, and like so many others here have, are doing, or are will in the future. The special ones recognize any life as a life worth living. Love doesn't need rank ordering. Love is love, and it's free and unlimited to those that embrace that, like you embraced that knowledge with your Puma. Some people consider cats as a second class pet, and we don't because understand that love isn't rank ordered. Aren't we the lucky ones who know unlimited love?
I have no words for how you'll sleep tonight. I wish I did.
The last pet I lost was old, sick, and I knew the end was near but even so I was unable to sleep. The night he died, we were up all night without a wink. It was a really odd night. But eventually, we did. We slept.
I talked to that pet that night in my mind. That's been over 2 years ago, and I still do, in my mind and outloud. At first it hurt. It hurt like hell to talk to them as though they were still here, physically. Just tonight I spoke to this pet when their special memorial solar light came on in our yard. When that light comes on at dusk, I say good morning. When that light goes off in the morning, I say good night, because they were a nocturnal type. It became OK sooner than I realized. I hope it becomes OK for you sooner than you might expect, because it's obvious how much you did for this little cat when many others in the world would have tossed him aside, or abandoned him because a sick pet (a cat, no less) is "not worth their time."
The memories, of his youth and of his sickness, as painful as they are now (and as much as it makes you cry) will eventually smooth out into beloved memories of how happy he was with you, and knowing how much you did for him. You had people come over to help pill him, for craps sake. I can count on one hand people in my real-world life that would even consider doing such a thing, and probably only half of them would have acted on it.
You and so many others here have gone above and beyond the call of duty to keep them comfortable. And knowing when it was time to stop the medications was another (IMO) act of love, as there comes a time we NEED to let them move on even if it kills us at first.
I seriously, seriously commend you for that knowledge.
The pain is physical. It's not just limited to our emotions or our psychological being, it's a physical pain, like a pre-heart attack, when we lose them. When we love another creature, and spend weeks or months (or years) nursing them and encouraging them to eat, to move, it takes a toll on us. The pet I spoke of earlier, when he died, it was like I had a small panic attack. When his remains were at reset, and I made a memorial area for him (he was buried), it became OK again. I am not happy with his loss, and never will be, but I'm OK with it.
My spiritual beliefs tell me we will be reunited. This isn't some celestial Santa Clause wish. This is based on beliefs and experiences.
You didn't ask Puma to go on when he couldn't, but you didn't give up when he was still OK. You gave him love and you gave him the comfort and freedom he craved. As hard as it is to believe now, that's something to be damned proud of.
I hope you can rest tonight. Please take heart and know there's nothing you did, or didn't do. Again, I know this is little consolation now, but I hope in a week or two you'll be able to see this clearly and realiicalze many people were pulling for you and find your ethical dilemma something they can relate to, because I know I've been there, and I bet many members here have been there, too.
Lots of hugs, dear friend.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Also, an addition...
it's my beliefs...only personal of course...that living things (all living things) realize intentions once they've moved on. If we feel guilty for pilling or medicating or doing chemo or radiation on a sick pet and question ourselves after their passing, they are smiling with radiation because they've learned our good intentions.
This may come off as Disney stuff to some, but to me, it matters. It matters.
No one would go to great lengths to medicate any living thing to potentially extend their life and quality of unless they gave a damn about that life. While we cry and are upset because we wonder if we did the right thing, they're beaming with gladness because they know what our intentions were during that terrible time. It probably sounds silly to a lot of people here, but meh. My creator loves all living things, and cares for them all.

So very many hugs. The loss of a friend in their elder years is oh so rough, but when they're youngsters, it's really a hard pill to swallow. Puma loves you (present, not past tense).

 

[beckbjj]

I am so very sorry for your loss. Rest in peace, Puma.

 

[dustydiamond1]

He is not buried alone, a large piece of yours and smaller pieces of our hearts are with him forever. I think it was @Mamanyt1953 who wrote that the last breath on earth is the first breath in Heaven. Hold your remaining kitty close and don't let anyone who doesn't understand try and make you feel bad about grieving and don't punish yourself by second guessing your decisions. I'm glad you weren't alone, that you had your caring vet with you as you gave him final peace, the only gift you could under the circumstance. Our thoughts are with you always.

 

[1 bruce 1]

1Bruce1, I responded at end of my thread. I'm a bit lost right now, wondering how tomorrow is faced with one less loved cat on the earth?

In my experiences, we move on. It's painful at first. But that love never dies. They might not be on this earth physically, but our love for them never dies and IMO their love for us never dies. That kind of things never becomes "past tense". Please re-read that if you feel low....that loves NEVER DIES, it never becomes PAST tense. You will always love Puma, he will always love you.

I had a beloved trail horse of mine die 15 years ago. That horse was so special and we were so tuned in to one another. It was like I read his mind, and he read mine. We were a perfect team. When he died, it was like someone sliced a piece of my soul out of me and buried it with him. He was sick and couldn't be helped. He stood in a stall filled with several kinds of hay, several kinds of grains, corn, oats, and access to pasture, and would stand and scream for food. It was terrible. He was very sick. He was starving, but couldn't or wouldn't eat.
I can't think of him after all these years without tearing up a little, only because I miss him, not because that love died. I still love that horse deeply, and deep in my soul I know he still loves me.
Just because they're not here with us, in the physical sense, does that ever mean our love for them has to fade. No matter what happens or what anyone says or anyone tells you...remember that. Love never dies. It's stronger than anything on this planet or in this universe. Letting the physical part of a loved one, be it human or animal, go can feel like the worst thing imaginable but love doesn't die. Ever.

 

[1 bruce 1]

He is not buried alone, a large piece of yours and smaller pieces of our hearts are with him forever. I think it was @Mamanyt1953 who wrote that the last breath on earth is the first breath in Heaven. Hold your remaining kitty close and don't let anyone who doesn't understand try and make you feel bad about grieving and don't punish yourself by second guessing your decisions. I'm glad you weren't alone, that you had your caring vet with you as you gave him final peace, the only gift you could under the circumstance. Our thoughts are with you always.

"Last breath on earth is the first breath in Heaven".
I love this, and I find it to be so true no matter what our personal visions of heaven or the afterlife is.
Agreed, the vet that came to the house because they understood Puma's stress is pretty caring and awesome. Vets with this type of compassion and willingness to go above and beyond deserve a medal IMO.

 

[debronjames]

i am so sorry to hear about Puma and i know what you are going through to the fullest! i lost my 5 y/o ginger boy January 2017 after 10 days of CHF diagnosis brought on by hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. previously he was misdiagnosed as asthmatic come to find out his heart was failing. after bringing him home 10 days later i had brought him back to the ER and his discharge date he passed away after my visiting hour. the sudden news and his passing i literally couldn’t deal with but like you knowing your furbaby is in peace and not in pain comforts me to this day. i know you’ll look back at the amazing companionship Puma offered you and when you’re ready offer that love to a new baby.

 

[ara11]

I've been wondering how you've been doing, and now I know why you've been quiet and when I saw my notifications I was immediately feeling sick without reading because I kind of knew.
I am so, so sorry my dear friend.
This was terribly unfair to you and Puma. Many here, myself included, have experienced the same unfairness and the same ridiculous situation with a young friend that failed quickly.
I could go on and on with all that stuff about "well, it was his time" and "time heals all wounds" and sometimes that helps....weeks, months after...but sometimes it does not. I know that feeling, as I've lost them young as well and it sucks. It just effing sucks, and is so unfair.
While it will be little consolation now, in a few months it might be so I'll throw this out there:
Lots of people hate cats. Many more dislike cats. A few others like cats enough to let them hang around, or allow them in their house. I'm active in the dog world, the working, show, and sport world, and people will spend 10's of thousands to save a dog that's un-savable but would sneer at the idea of spending $50 to help a sick cat that could be saved. It's ridiculous, and it's a shitty (pardon my french, mods please don't kill me) way to act when one considers themselves a "lover of animals/all creatures."
Those that are willing to exhaust their expenses on a sick cat are here. They post, they ask for help. The vent, they cry, like you have, and like I have, and like so many others here have, are doing, or are will in the future. The special ones recognize any life as a life worth living. Love doesn't need rank ordering. Love is love, and it's free and unlimited to those that embrace that, like you embraced that knowledge with your Puma. Some people consider cats as a second class pet, and we don't because understand that love isn't rank ordered. Aren't we the lucky ones who know unlimited love?
I have no words for how you'll sleep tonight. I wish I did.
The last pet I lost was old, sick, and I knew the end was near but even so I was unable to sleep. The night he died, we were up all night without a wink. It was a really odd night. But eventually, we did. We slept.
I talked to that pet that night in my mind. That's been over 2 years ago, and I still do, in my mind and outloud. At first it hurt. It hurt like hell to talk to them as though they were still here, physically. Just tonight I spoke to this pet when their special memorial solar light came on in our yard. When that light comes on at dusk, I say good morning. When that light goes off in the morning, I say good night, because they were a nocturnal type. It became OK sooner than I realized. I hope it becomes OK for you sooner than you might expect, because it's obvious how much you did for this little cat when many others in the world would have tossed him aside, or abandoned him because a sick pet (a cat, no less) is "not worth their time."
The memories, of his youth and of his sickness, as painful as they are now (and as much as it makes you cry) will eventually smooth out into beloved memories of how happy he was with you, and knowing how much you did for him. You had people come over to help pill him, for craps sake. I can count on one hand people in my real-world life that would even consider doing such a thing, and probably only half of them would have acted on it.
You and so many others here have gone above and beyond the call of duty to keep them comfortable. And knowing when it was time to stop the medications was another (IMO) act of love, as there comes a time we NEED to let them move on even if it kills us at first.
I seriously, seriously commend you for that knowledge.
The pain is physical. It's not just limited to our emotions or our psychological being, it's a physical pain, like a pre-heart attack, when we lose them. When we love another creature, and spend weeks or months (or years) nursing them and encouraging them to eat, to move, it takes a toll on us. The pet I spoke of earlier, when he died, it was like I had a small panic attack. When his remains were at reset, and I made a memorial area for him (he was buried), it became OK again. I am not happy with his loss, and never will be, but I'm OK with it.
My spiritual beliefs tell me we will be reunited. This isn't some celestial Santa Clause wish. This is based on beliefs and experiences.
You didn't ask Puma to go on when he couldn't, but you didn't give up when he was still OK. You gave him love and you gave him the comfort and freedom he craved. As hard as it is to believe now, that's something to be damned proud of.
I hope you can rest tonight. Please take heart and know there's nothing you did, or didn't do. Again, I know this is little consolation now, but I hope in a week or two you'll be able to see this clearly and realiicalze many people were pulling for you and find your ethical dilemma something they can relate to, because I know I've been there, and I bet many members here have been there, too.
Lots of hugs, dear friend.

 

[ara11]

Thank you so much for your kind wise thoughtful words. Still aching for that precious soft body. It was his time but it wasn't "our" time.

 

[ara11]

"Last breath on earth is the first breath in Heaven".
I love this, and I find it to be so true no matter what our personal visions of heaven or the afterlife is.
Agreed, the vet that came to the house because they understood Puma's stress is pretty caring and awesome. Vets with this type of compassion and willingness to go above and beyond deserve a medal IMO.

I thought the same of the vet. He said he could tell by Pumas shiny fur how much he had been loved. He also said since Puma was a black cat I gave him this wonderful life (crying now, sorry) since he sees so many black cats left behind. Then he said its crazy how people wont take a cat because the color of its fur.... he added, like people are chosen for their skin color.... he was a black veterinarian. It struck me how cruel or foolish humans can be, and again, how pure and wonderful cats are, in their unconditional love. Even in dying Puma gave another opportunity to love.

 

[ara11]

He is not buried alone, a large piece of yours and smaller pieces of our hearts are with him forever. I think it was @Mamanyt1953 who wrote that the last breath on earth is the first breath in Heaven. Hold your remaining kitty close and don't let anyone who doesn't understand try and make you feel bad about grieving and don't punish yourself by second guessing your decisions. I'm glad you weren't alone, that you had your caring vet with you as you gave him final peace, the only gift you could under the circumstance. Our thoughts are with you always.

thank you thank you thank you

 

[dustydiamond1]

Thank you so much for your kind wise thoughtful words. Still aching for that precious soft body. It was his time but it wasn't "our" time.