Did I make a mistake?

[photogirl843]

Side note: the "behavior" in this post is likely more dependent on my behavior as opposed to the cats. There is some work to be done with the cats, but I think much of it is on me. I'll try to keep this kind of short since I don't want to turn this into a therapy session. 

I suffer from Bi-Polar Depression, Type II. I have been on medication now for a few years for the depression, but was only officially diagnosed with the bi-polar disorder last year. Meds have been helping, but lately I feel like they're needing to be adjusted. My motivation is slipping and I am unable to concentrate or put the effort in to things that I want to. Thankfully, I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in April. 

Because of this, I am finding it harder to make myself spend time wearing Calvin out. He is still spraying occasionally, and still torments Bowie. It is not as bad as it could be, but I know I could be making it better. Anyone with depression or bi-polar will understand how tough it is to do something. I barely take care of myself some days, and if I didn't have my job, I would probably rarely leave my house and certainly interact with people as little as possible. 

Bowie and Sable are older, and much more laid back now. Calvin, being so young at 9 months, is still a bit of a hellion. He does have quiet moments, but there are days that when I do play with him that I just cannot wear him out enough. We have feather wands, laser pointers, Jackson Galaxy ground wand, etc. 

I'm just starting to think that I made a mistake bringing him home - that his energy level is not a good fit right now when I can barely handle life in other aspects. The other two tolerate him as much as they can, but poor Bowie gets chased and stalked and just tormented. He pees outside the box sometimes when Calvin chases him after he's gone in the litter box. I started making shelves on the wall over the couch for Bowie to give him a place to escape to, and hung one but it is too high. Since then, my condition has been keeping me from finishing the project. 

I just get so frustrated with myself and seeing how everyone needs more that I'm not giving them. It makes me wonder if I should never have brought Calvin home... Constantly second guessing myself and overthinking is kind of par for the course with me these days and I just need some advice...

 

[Ms. Freya]

Hi Photogirl,

   My husband and brother both have depression and so much of what you wrote sounds very familiar - it can be a real kick to the motivation some times.

A few things that we found worked during rough patches were remote control or automatic toys - the kind that don't require nearly as much interaction from you. My brother had an automatic laser toy that would sen a little light all over for his cat to chase (she was the epitome of overractive when she was under a year). It would keep her busy for hours.

We had a little remote control ball that the cats could chase as well as a treat ball. You still had to keep an eye on them, but they didn't require as much participation when your brain may not be up to it.

Just some ideas. I'm sure some other members will be along soon to share more.

 

[foxxycat]

Hi Photogirl=welcome to our place!

 

I have family and myself who also suffer from depression. My mom had bipolar with manic depression episodes..so much of what you have written sounds very farmiliar..I don't have anything to add other than my cat loves the laser light toy=I can lay down and she is entertained for hours..and one of those sticks with feathers on the end-she loves the stick stuck under the rug or blanket like something crawling underneathe=all three of mine love this trick.

 

[di and bob]

What you are going through is perfectly normal with such a young cat. He is still a kitten and is very high maintenance and has a high energy level. If you can stick it out everything will improve with time, he just needs to mellow out. The ideal thing would be a playmate his own age and gender but I realize that probably isn't possible. The thing to do now is to get toys he can play with by himself, or a cat tree, and provide high places for your older cats to escape to, my girl's favorite place was on top of the fridge. Your shelves would be perfect and put them on your high priority list or ask a friend or relative for help in finishing them, it sounds like you just need another 'step' to reach your high one.  For now provide some kind of steps to some other high place. Do you have any neighbor kids that you could ask to play with your cat, seek permission from their parents of course, you could even ask them to maybe 'babysit' for a while and give your other cats a break. You could offer them a small payment too, or some kind of exchange of services. I'll keep you in my prayers, I hope that precious little cat will be able to stay, I know he loves you very much, but like a teenager he is trying your patience at times.

 

[photogirl843]

Thank you everyone. I think yesterday was just an extra rough day. But good things did happen. Calvin was being a butt and chasing Bowie yesterday evening and I put Bowie up on the shelf. Immediately, he realized that Calvin couldn't get him and he figured he might just like that thing.. 

This morning, he jumped up there by himself. I'd say he looks pretty content there! 

IMG_3846.JPG

• photogirl843
• Mar 14, 2016

 

[Ms. Freya]

Nice!

Vertical space can solve so many things. He definitely looks content.