Mark stopped by, tonight. He got out of rehab, today. He's going into an aftercare program, in Florida for three months. While there, he's supposed to learn how to stay away from drugs and the kinds of people that he's been hanging with. He'll also get vovational training. Unfortunately, he won't be here, when the babies are born. Tonight, he told me about some of the stuff and people he's been involved with. It was worse than I thought. If had known, I would have worried, much more than I did. As he was leaving, we both broke down and cried and I've been crying, most of the time, since he left.
The problem is, I don't have anyone to talk to. Bill and I are barely speaking and, then its just about the pets, buying groceries, etc.
I began sleeping on the couch, four weeks ago. The first night was because Bill was snoring so badly. I woke up, during the night and went to bed. In the wee hours, he shoved me out of bed and I went back to the couch. The next night, he shoved me out, again. I gave up and have been on the couch, ever since.
At the moment, I can't afford to move out, on my own. As soon as I find a job, it looks as though I'm going to have to. Since my divorce I don't have the emotional wherewithal, for any type of conflict. Having Mark to worry about hasn't helped.
I don't know what went wrong, with Bill, any more than I know what happened to my marriage. I wish that SOMEBODY would tell me what I did wrong. He hasn't said anything and I just can't bring it up. I don't think that I can handle a confrontation.
Tonight, Bill saw that I was crying and didn't say a word. Time was, he couldn't stand to see me cry and would comfort me. Looks as though I've made another bad choice of men. Story of my life.
I can't go to my parents, again. They've got their hands full, raising three teenage grandkids and my brothers are useless.
What I realy need is for someone to put their arms around me and let me cry this all out. This way, I can at least cry it all out.
Sorry about the length but I'm hurting.
The problem is, I don't have anyone to talk to. Bill and I are barely speaking and, then its just about the pets, buying groceries, etc.
I began sleeping on the couch, four weeks ago. The first night was because Bill was snoring so badly. I woke up, during the night and went to bed. In the wee hours, he shoved me out of bed and I went back to the couch. The next night, he shoved me out, again. I gave up and have been on the couch, ever since.
At the moment, I can't afford to move out, on my own. As soon as I find a job, it looks as though I'm going to have to. Since my divorce I don't have the emotional wherewithal, for any type of conflict. Having Mark to worry about hasn't helped.
I don't know what went wrong, with Bill, any more than I know what happened to my marriage. I wish that SOMEBODY would tell me what I did wrong. He hasn't said anything and I just can't bring it up. I don't think that I can handle a confrontation.
Tonight, Bill saw that I was crying and didn't say a word. Time was, he couldn't stand to see me cry and would comfort me. Looks as though I've made another bad choice of men. Story of my life.
I can't go to my parents, again. They've got their hands full, raising three teenage grandkids and my brothers are useless.
What I realy need is for someone to put their arms around me and let me cry this all out. This way, I can at least cry it all out.
Sorry about the length but I'm hurting.