Decisions, decisions.

[amarshall0919]

On June 5th of this year, I will be getting married. My fiancé has many job opportunities out of state. He wants to move to a particular state that is about 830 miles away from where we are living now. I currently live with my parents, but when we get married I will of course be moving in with him.

In April, I will have had my inside cat, King, for 10 years. He was born on my front porch, and was brought in as soon as he was old enough. I consider him my older best friend. He is a little contrary sometimes, but that’s just how he is. He’ll be loving pets one second, and as soon as he’s done, he’ll bite you hard to let you know lol. I’m the only one he will jump up on. He loves jumping on me every night before I go to sleep, and then he goes off and will sleep close to me in the chair. I have always been protective of him as he gets scared very easily.

My fiancé and I have two more cats that live at his house. One is about to be 5 months old, and the other is 4 years old. They love to play with each other, but sometimes Smoothie (the kitten) bites Midnight too hard and he gets mad. Smoothie is very, very, very energetic. I think this would really upset King. He is very used to being the only cat, and when I come in from petting an outside cat, he gets super mad and whacks my leg because he can smell them.

I have to make a decision. When I get married and move far away, should I bring King with me? This is a very hard decision. King is very comfortable being in my parents home, and he loves everything about this place. Another factor I have to put in: Smoothie and Midnight have claws, King sadly does not. (I was only 11 when King was born. I had no say in if he got to keep his claws or not. He was ripping our curtains, and climbing up our walls, but I had no problem with it. My mom and dad made the decision, and I tell him how sorry I am about it all the time.) Because of this, King gets mad very easily. His bites do hurt, VERY bad. Many times he brings the blood out on me with deep cuts, just from his teeth. I love him, but he is ruthless when it comes to that.

Would it be possible to bring King with us, move him into a new environment with new cats, and him be okay? He became very ill in September, and I remember worrying that he would not make it. He is doing way better now, but could the change of moving make him sick? Would King and Midnight get along since they are both males?

I am really struggling with this. Any advice is appreciated.

 

[Purr-fect]

I think you have answered your question......King stays.

Thats what I would do. Always do what is best for the cat. I wont list the long list of reasons why he would be best off where he is.

I would leave a few of your "dirty" shirts for him to sleep with, a bag of his favorite treats and remind your family to spend time with him and help him adapt.

 

[GoldyCat]

My first inclination is to say leave him with your parents. However, I have a couple of questions. You say King is very comfortable in your parents' home, but how is he with your parents, not just the environment. How do your parents feel about keeping him?

 

[amarshall0919]

My first inclination is to say leave him with your parents. However, I have a couple of questions. You say King is very comfortable in your parents' home, but how is he with your parents, not just the environment. How do your parents feel about keeping him?

He loves them, and they love him. If I’m not home at night, he’ll go in their bedroom and sleep on their bed. He keeps my parents company all the time.

 

[ArtNJ]

Introducing a 10 y.o. cat to other cats is generally a stressful PITA, to call it what it is, because older cats have a hard time with new cats. Thats without factoring your cats personality, which surely can't help. You never do know, sometimes cats do way better than we expect, but add in the stress of a move, and its a safe assumption that it will be a stressful process. Its quite possible that King will be seriously stressed for months, and that it will be a long slow climb towards tolerating the other cats. You mentioned the kitten, but there could easily be a problem with Midnight too. And yes, a very active kitten that won't take no for answer on playing is highly likely to stress King out.

Tons of us have done similarly difficult introductions. Even if it is in fact difficult and stressful, we can guide you through it. Even when things don't go great, the stress usually isn't that terrible on the cats, and even if improvement is painfully slow, things get fairly stable and mostly tolerable relatively quickly. But if there is a good alternative, then yeah, I agree with everyone else, thats likely the preferable option for everyone. Even though you'll be very sad being without your best cat, you'd feel terrible seeing your buddy stressed for possibly months. So leaving him with mom may be the least bad option.

 

[Tik cat's mum]

I would leave him at your mum's for him you said he loves them and they love him. I know this would be hard for you because you love him so much, but it sounds like he would be happier being a only cat. He would also help your parents out when they are missing you and vice versa.

 

[di and bob]

He looks like a twin to my Casper in my Avatar!
I agree with leaving him at your parent's house. If the situation becomes unbearable, you can always bring him to your new home then. He will of course miss you very much, and may resort to acting out, but that will decrease in time. His hard biting is the only defence he has now, where a swat may have got his point across, since he has no claws that is not possible now. You might remind your parents of that if they complain about biting. I would make them PROMISE not to do anything permanent, like rehome him, etc, without notifying you first. And notify you of any problems. I hope they realize he is going to be very sad for a while and may act differently. My Casper had a LOT of Siamese in him and was very vocal and stubborn, and he acted up all the time when things weren't going his way. I wish you both well, at least in theses times you might be able to have face time with him on your phone, that would help both of you......

 

[game misconduct]

he has such a cool looking coon taili think he would be ok if you left him at your parents house after your wedding congrats on that tohe only needs to adjust to you being gone versus a new turf and two younger more active cats after your married