Dealing with the toughest period of my life these past 7+ months

Kwik

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Hi les26 les26

Just wanted you to know that you,Deb,Mom and Dad remain in my heart and prayers .....

For a high paid facility you would think they would pay much more attention-like the missing hearing aid and improperly adjusted bag,unacceptable!Anyone can make mistakes,it happens but no doubt there is a head nurse that is responsible for everyone under her and should know how to spot a gallbladder bad thats not hooked up correctly & fix it! Maybe another "talk" with the head honchos is in order
 
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les26

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Hi les26 les26

Just wanted you to know that you,Deb,Mom and Dad remain in my heart and prayers .....

For a high paid facility you would think they would pay much more attention-like the missing hearing aid and improperly adjusted bag,unacceptable!Anyone can make mistakes,it happens but no doubt there is a head nurse that is responsible for everyone under her and should know how to spot a gallbladder bad thats not hooked up correctly & fix it! Maybe another "talk" with the head honchos is in order
Yes I am going to call and ask to talk to the head nurse there tomorrow, they need to know what they are doing there! It wasn't horrible, but it never should have happened, and an early trip like that is a big deal for my Mom, she didn't need that!

Thanks for the prayers, I appreciate it!! :) :rbheart:
 

Kwik

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Yes I am going to call and ask to talk to the head nurse there tomorrow, they need to know what they are doing there! It wasn't horrible, but it never should have happened, and an early trip like that is a big deal for my Mom, she didn't need that!

Thanks for the prayers, I appreciate it!! :) :rbheart:
Of course-you always have me praying and here to support!I knew you would not let this go without saying something,it's negligent ,seems someone was not doing their job.....

And I'm so sorry you have to deal with those ridiculous phone calls,always at the worst times-thst would just put me over the edge ...I was so annoyed from the constant phone calls like thst for myself- asking for emergency contacts,,living will etc.. that I called the State of Florida Agency for Heath Care Adninistration'-it's intrusive,invasive,stressful and unecessary- the calls stopped and they have been on their toes ever since- the State said that was unacceptable,each person needs to read the information that we provide and forms signed-not take shortcuts by calling patients and/or their families-it's nuisance calls...that's what records are for

Anyway,don't be afraid to go over their heads,,my cousin was worried I'd be treated badly by "rocking the boat"- quite the opposite resulted,I'm treated like a VIP and my records are very clear- no calls unless it's emergency-it must be a bright red headline,lol
 
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les26

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I called and talked to the head nurse, told her that the doctor said he wasn't happy that they didn't see the bag wasn't connected properly and told them to read the paperwork if they needed too, and her answer was "sometimes these surgeons forget we aren't trained in all aspects of these things", but said they didn't get any paperwork about it but they will call the doctor's office and ask for it...🙄

For what we are paying I think they should be able to DO surgery if needed, my gosh...
 

Kwik

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Oh my goodness,that's the worst response she could have given- that's nursing 101 and your 100% right-Id expect the same!!!@les

Also,a ton of apologies are in order as well,at the very least
 
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les26

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Today Deb & I had a meeting with an elder law attorney who specializes in trying to "shelter" money from the nursing home and he listened to our "story", read the paperwork, thought about it and told us that he knows of ways that we can shelter a lot of the monies involved, so that would be wonderful!!! When he explained how and was done I said "wow, that would be great", and he said he usually gets two responses, 1. "Wow, I didn't know we could do that" and 2. "You're the third lawyer we've been at, why didn't anyone else tell us about this?" and that's because he is trained in this, this is his speciality, the other lawyers are not. So it will be a huge work in progress, but it should be worth it if what he says will come true! I knew it was worth a shot...
 

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So it will be a huge work in progress, but it should be worth it if what he says will come true! I knew it was worth a shot...
We'll cross fingers and paws for Deb and you. :crossfingers: :greenpaw: :bluepaw: Good luck!:goodluck:
 
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les26

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Well I haven't taken the time to tell you our latest "issue", but last weekend Deb's 86 year old mom who had Covid and was taken off of her Xanax that she took for 20 years because they said she couldn't take it with a pill for the Covid called us and said she had been very sick from the pill, and she decided that Ivy, one of her two cats, who has a tumor on her back leg that the vets saw many months ago but don't want to do anything about, is not doing well and should be "put down" and she wanted it done right now! Deb called her back and talked to her about it, asked if she was exaggerating how bad it was, and they talked and we decided to let it go until the next day. So here we are sitting in church, thinking about how we have to go into her place while she is on the tail end of having Covid, and possibly play "executioner" with this cat. We figured we obviously would see what the vet said to make sure it was time to put her down, and Deb called her and told her we were on the way over. We got there, and she was slumped in a chair, and we thought she was sleeping because she said she was going to not sleep in bed but sleep in her recliner to be with the cats. But Deb couldn't wake her up, I saw that she was still breathing but she was unresponsive, so I called 911 and they were there within minutes, she started to respond a little for them, they took her to the hospital where they checked her out and she was dehydrated so they started her on IV drips, said she was okay but some tests revealed an issue with her heart, so they don't know if she was developing this or if she had it and Covid made it worse or if it was all from Covid, but she spent a few days in the hospital, is back home now but needs therapy and assistance and further testing with a cardiologist. Deb is going over there today to see her, but that was one of the most frightening things that we ever have been involved in. When Deb kept saying "wake up Mom, Mom, wake up" it reminded me of the scene from "Titanic" where the rescue boat was out on the water and Rose heard and saw it and was trying to wake Jack up but he was dead, and it broke my heart hearing that. Thank God that we went over there, who knows if she would've pulled out of it by herself?!!! And Ivy is still here, she has some issues but isn't horrible, and we all think maybe her state of mind she was really not thinking clearly, but wow, just wow...

I had said I thought that I aged 10 years with dealing with all of my parents issues this past 1.5 years; now I say I think Deb & I aged 10 years each just from that day!!! :eek2: 😟
 
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les26

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I think that says it all, Wow! :eek: The good news is Ivy is still with your mom. The not so good news is that Deb and you have been through a whirlwind. Thinking of you and hope Deb and you have a quiet weekend. 🤗
Thanks. Deb was over with her today for a bit and she said she has never seen her mom so confused and just out of sorts, but Covid really plays mental games on people especially someone at 86, and I'm sure playing around with different meds are a factor too. But Deb said her heart just breaks for her, she is so confused and crying, has a rash on her stomach for a reason I don't know, but it is so so tough to see your parents struggle with things...
 
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les26

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Last night I "electronically" signed the papers to sell my parents house. I know it had to be done, but that was a feeling that I can't even explain, so many emotions and thoughts going through me as I did that. But we have to close it out, just like all of the other things before that that they had and I had to sell. Tough times that I will remember all of my life...
 

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I know how tough and stressful it is caring for an elderly parent, I went through it with my mom who was 91 at the time. Dehydration can make someone confused, and in the elderly I found out that so can a UTI. Did anyone check her for a UTI, I was told that in the elderly they don't necessarily even know that they have a UTI because the symptoms are not apparent.
 

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I know how tough and stressful it is caring for an elderly parent, I went through it with my mom who was 91 at the time. Dehydration can make someone confused, and in the elderly I found out that so can a UTI. Did anyone check her for a UTI, I was told that in the elderly they don't necessarily even know that they have a UTI because the symptoms are not apparent.
My 94 year old father had a UTI last year I think it was, nobody knew it, just thought he was getting demential. Finally a doctor suggested a test, and sure enough, he had a UTI. Cleared up and no more dementia symptoms. Sadly, he is in hospice now, but he's putting up a good fight.
 

Kwik

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Hi les26 les26
Been thinking about you ,Deb and you-I had a hard time finding your threads because I've not talked with you in a long time ( plus I'm terrible on computers,still trying to learn to navigate here🤔)Finally,found you!

I'm so sorry to hear on top of it all that you both had such a terrible fright with Debs Mom (& her cat too)- That Covid can be a beast,especially on the elderly. A friend of mine in her early 60's has had it twice and she has whst she calls " Covid Brain"- awful confusion and just feeling like she's in a fog many many months later plus it has taken a toll on her heart- I can't imagine what an 86 yr old goes through- my goodness!I do hope she's coming along well

What about your parents ,Les? How are things at the living facility and how are they..... and of course,how are you and Deb (& kitty)

God Bless you,Deb and family- know that you are not forgotten and y'all remain on my heart and in my prayers❤🙏
 
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les26

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Hi les26 les26
Been thinking about you ,Deb and you-I had a hard time finding your threads because I've not talked with you in a long time ( plus I'm terrible on computers,still trying to learn to navigate here🤔)Finally,found you!

I'm so sorry to hear on top of it all that you both had such a terrible fright with Debs Mom (& her cat too)- That Covid can be a beast,especially on the elderly. A friend of mine in her early 60's has had it twice and she has whst she calls " Covid Brain"- awful confusion and just feeling like she's in a fog many many months later plus it has taken a toll on her heart- I can't imagine what an 86 yr old goes through- my goodness!I do hope she's coming along well

What about your parents ,Les? How are things at the living facility and how are they..... and of course,how are you and Deb (& kitty)

God Bless you,Deb and family- know that you are not forgotten and y'all remain on my heart and in my prayers❤🙏
Thank you for the kind words and wonderful message!

Her Mom is better than she was, she does have Covid brain at times, but is better than she was. Her two cats are not doing well though, we are always wondering how long they will be with us, but so far they are still here.

My parents are stable, neither one has been in the hospital for about 2 months now so that is good. Covid made it's way through their faciltiy but so far they have avoided it. My mom is pretty much bedridden because she says her arthritis in her right knee hurts so bad she can't put pressure on it, but she has been twice to the orthopedic doctor and was treated and they told me "there's no reason she shouldn't be able to walk on that leg", so we don't know if she is just afraid or what. But since we found the right dosage of meds for her mentally she is better than Deb & I, we just wish she would get up and rehab and walk again. Dad is doing okay, he likes to walk so they keep him active, but they are being taken care of now, thank God.

We are meeting our lawyer over there tomorrow so my mom can sign some legal papers, he has a way that we can save the majority of their monies from going to the nursing home which is great, but it is a long, drawn out procedure, but should be worth it in the end.

We are doing okay here, Simba our 24 year old (maybe older?) is hanging in there, throws up a lot but so do some of our others, but he is doing much better than before when we thought his time was up, but we are giving him lots of love and attention and feeding him more and better foods and he is still here. The rest are good, Sylvester at times gets nasty and jumps on Simba and bites him which infuriates us, they have self warming pads that they lay on and sometimes Sylvester just HAS to lay on the one that Simba is on even though the one right next to it is the same? So he gets scolded and Deb even threatens to throw him out of the house!! We CANNOT have him injure Simba, we had a cat years ago that all of a sudden was paralyzed in her hind legs, we don't know what happened there, but it was HORRIBLE and we don't want a repeat of that!!!

Thanks again for asking, and we wish you the best too!! :rbheart:
 

Kwik

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Thank you for the kind words and wonderful message!

Her Mom is better than she was, she does have Covid brain at times, but is better than she was. Her two cats are not doing well though, we are always wondering how long they will be with us, but so far they are still here.

My parents are stable, neither one has been in the hospital for about 2 months now so that is good. Covid made it's way through their faciltiy but so far they have avoided it. My mom is pretty much bedridden because she says her arthritis in her right knee hurts so bad she can't put pressure on it, but she has been twice to the orthopedic doctor and was treated and they told me "there's no reason she shouldn't be able to walk on that leg", so we don't know if she is just afraid or what. But since we found the right dosage of meds for her mentally she is better than Deb & I, we just wish she would get up and rehab and walk again. Dad is doing okay, he likes to walk so they keep him active, but they are being taken care of now, thank God.

We are meeting our lawyer over there tomorrow so my mom can sign some legal papers, he has a way that we can save the majority of their monies from going to the nursing home which is great, but it is a long, drawn out procedure, but should be worth it in the end.

We are doing okay here, Simba our 24 year old (maybe older?) is hanging in there, throws up a lot but so do some of our others, but he is doing much better than before when we thought his time was up, but we are giving him lots of love and attention and feeding him more and better foods and he is still here. The rest are good, Sylvester at times gets nasty and jumps on Simba and bites him which infuriates us, they have self warming pads that they lay on and sometimes Sylvester just HAS to lay on the one that Simba is on even though the one right next to it is the same? So he gets scolded and Deb even threatens to throw him out of the house!! We CANNOT have him injure Simba, we had a cat years ago that all of a sudden was paralyzed in her hind legs, we don't know what happened there, but it was HORRIBLE and we don't want a repeat of that!!!

Thanks again for asking, and we wish you the best too!! :rbheart:
Thank you les26 les26 and thank Deb from me too..... she's quite the trooper,you are both very Blessed to have one another.....great hearing from you and I hope everything continues to improve and you have Peace ( about time!)

Don't be a stranger,you are loved!
 

neely

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My parents are stable, neither one has been in the hospital for about 2 months now so that is good.
The old saying rings true, "no news is good news!" So glad your folks are stable and doing better albeit your mom's arthritis in her right knee. Can your dad persuade her to try and walk just a little way with him?

Also thrilled to hear Simba is hanging in there. I have no doubt Deb and you are lavishing him with lots of love and affection. :catlove: Tell Sylvester he's going to get a time out if he doesn't behave and leave Simba alone.:nono:

All in all it was nice to hear everything is copacetic. Take care of yourselves, be safe and stay well. :hugs:
 
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les26

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Just an update on what has been going on:

Thanks to the elder law attorney we were able to form a trust for my mom and save a LOT of their money from going to the nursing home so that is really good news. But the bad news is on Tuesday my 85 year old dad had a stroke, and he already has Aphasia and Dementia, they are working with him but we will have to see how much he responds to things, his right side is paralyzed, they talked with us and of course talked about the worst possible outcome to the best and everything in between, but time will tell where this goes. And I have my 84 year old mom to deal with too, but she is taking this pretty well, her and I both know that he hasn't been enjoying himself for years now, we don't want to see him go if it is his time but we want him to at least enjoy somethings in life.

This is so, so tough, emotional draining, it's on our minds constantly, times of crying, times of understanding it somewhat, but this is how it must play out and I just have to deal with it as it happens, and try to keep myself from getting sick over it...
 
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