Deaf kitty not working out - sad to find her new home

[cassiopeiae13]

So, About 2 months ago I adopted a 7 year old deaf kitty (Meda). She's so beautiful, sweet, snuggly and gentle... as long as you are her minion and not competition. She does not get along with my resident kitty at ALL (Cail).

I have tried:

1) Baby gates, she sleeps in my room with litter, food and water. Sleeps using me as her mattress at night. When I am not home, she stays in my room, but when I am home, I let her wander the house.

2) Feliway both defusers and spray, Rescue Remedy and prescriptions

3) Food dishes on either side of gate, fed at the same time. Played interactive games with them through the gate. Given lots of snuggles and petting and treats together.


Honestly, I don't know what else I could do/have done. I know some people say it could take up to 6 months, but I feel that this would be cruel to both her, and to Cailan. It's not right to keep them both in such an aggitated state all the time. So I'm going to try to find her a good home.

I worry though. I want to make sure her home would be as good/better than the one she has here. I want to make sure she gets snuggled, and played with, she's very snuggly and likes to bring presents (I have been brought shirts, socks, wash cloths, towels, little toy mice, gloves.. you get the idea), and she's so sweet and gentle. She likes to bat at your hands, and when she catches it, she pulls it close, naws, and then licks your whole hand.. she likes the licking.. it's very annoying, but adorable. She LOVES the laser pointer and string and straws. Obsessed with straws.

So, how do I go about finding someone?

Or do you think there's any hope? Anything I haven't tried to get her to calm down and accept there is another cat in the house and not to go after him and scratch him?

 

[hissy]

There is a collar out that I just tested and it had remarkable results. It is a herbal collar and I got it at Wal-Mart of all places. I put it on Hurricane Charlie and within 30 minutes, I could see a real difference in him. It is by Sentry and it is called the HC Calming Good Behavior Collar and it is all holistic. I would try that-

 

[merrytreecats]

It has only been 2 months and yes it can take longer. I advise that you keep the two cats separated, except when supervised and give it a chance.

If this does not work out, she is best rehomed to a home where she would be the only cat. She sounds like such a dear. I hope for the best for her!

 

[taryn]

We put a calming collar on Maude before we let Attitude and Nuts loose in the house. She was still not happy with the vet, she had to be vaccinated against feline leukemia because both Attitude and Nuts are positive and she wasn't, but she wasn't as bad as normal, they didn't need full body armor. They still needed armor just not full body armor.

She had attacked me in the past for simply bringing Attitude in the house(she attacked me after Attitude was already back outside.) It went ok, there was still hissing and swatting but no fights, even though she did have to put Attitude and Nuts in their place. They each found their heads in Maude's mouth, and yes she could fit their entire heads in her mouth, at separate times. Not sure what Nuts did, but I saw her do Attitude because she got on Paul's lap and kept sticking her fluffy tail into Maude's mouth so she couldn't hiss. She didn't bite down or anything just opened her mouth and closed it lightly over their entire heads. It made the point she was getting at. There were other things, hissing and swatting and Maude putting Attitude and Nuts in their place due to them bothering her with kitten stuff.

I'd try the collar, it really worked with Maude. I'd also just keep them separated and work slower with introducing them. They might not be ready for direct face to face time. Swap scents and give it a little more time.

Taryn

 

[cassiopeiae13]

Andromeda's deaf, so not having face to face isn't a good idea. I have the baby gates so she can get used to having another cat around.

She just goes after him every time she sees him and he's had up to 5 scratches already. Cailan's such a curious little guy (He's half her size) that even when she does that, he's tramatized for an hour or so and then gets over it. Though this morning he was kind of slinking around still, I'll have to see how he is tonight when I get home. If he's still slinking around or if he's back to his playful self.

They both love to play, I can see Cailan wanting to play with her when she's tossing stuff around and chasing things only her and Cailan can see (apparently I have gremlins or fairies or something, cause they both rip down the hallway after nothing). She just really doesn't like having another cat around, and i think it's worse because she can't hear him, but he doesn't sneak up on her or anything. He pretty much just wants to be left alone.

I guess my question is, what is a collar going to do that Feliway spray/defuser, Rescue Remedy and prescriptions haven't already tried?

 

[hissy]

The collar is direct penetration into the skin, therefore more effective than the stuff just drifting around in the air. I would certainly try it before bailing on this cat and putting this chat into another place where she has to adjust all over again

 

[momofmany]

I have a close friend who has rescued 2 deaf cats in her years and deaf cats in a hearing household will always be somewhat of a challenge. Her deaf cats are incredibly sweet, but have a tendency to go out of their way to protect themselves. They know that something is wrong with them, and their behavior is based on their need to protect themselves. They can't totally relate to other cats because of their handicap and sometimes it takes a bit of creativity to teach the hearing and non-hearing cats how to relate to each other. Eventually her hearing cats figured out that her deaf boy couldn't hear them and their behavior changed. And eventually her deaf boy figured out that the hearing cats were not out to harm him, and he calmed down.

Feliway diffusers, creativity, time and a lot of patience helped my friend's cats.

 

[cassiopeiae13]

I just think it's mean to both of them that they have to live like this. She's shut up in my room all day until I get home and can let her out. And he gets scratched. I don't want his personality changing because she scares him so much. so far it's been okay, but... I dunno I find it mean to them to keep them in a situation that aggitates them.

I'll try the collars. I'll give it another month, but there has to be SOME improvement. So far it's kind of hit or miss if she'll go after him, and I can't have that. I can't have him scared to get off the fridge.

I don't like people who get animals and give htem back. Believe me. I didn't get her from a shelter, and I won't put her into a shelter. I'll find someone who will give her a lot of love and play with her and allow her to be the princess she seems to think she is. I think it's mean she had to get taken from a home she's known for 7 years and moved around twice and all, but I don't know what else to do. I have to be fair to Cailan too, and while I personally don't mind it being difficult and introducing them with help and keeping them seperated and such, I don't think it's fair to Cailan to have him get beat up when he wants to eat.

Also, she seems to eat when she's stressed. She'll eat, and then throw up immediately afterwards. This can't be healthy.. I dunno what to do about it. I try only feeding her now once a day in the morning, but she doesn't eat all the food, so if she sees Cail through the gate, she'll start eating.. She's done this 4 times so far.. .Eaten and thrown up...

 

[momofmany]

I believe there is a group in Yahoo specifically for deaf cat owners. You may want to look into that more.

Raising a deaf cat is not for everyone. There are people out there who love to take on the special needs of deaf cats. But not everyone is equipped to handle those needs. The deaf cat forums can help you.

 

[cassiopeiae13]

I'm sad. I've always wanted a deaf cat. They're so beautiful

 

[elayman]

Originally Posted by Cassiopeiae13

I just think it's mean to both of them that they have to live like this. She's shut up in my room all day until I get home and can let her out. And he gets scratched.

Are you keeping nails clipped blunt ? Decrease the need for your cat to scratch, or at least reducing the damage, by trimming her nails.

 

[cassiopeiae13]

I've been trying to, though I realized last nigh I should have clipped them a few days ago. I have soft paws too I'm going to put on her if I can get them on her *heh* Or I'll have the vet do it.

 

[cruisermaiden]

I recommend the soft paws completely. My parents always had our cats declawed when I was living with them so Spooky and Mulder are both declawed. I adopted a new cat (Jinkers) a couple weeks ago and I was worried he would scratch the other two, so I put soft paws on him and they work great. I don't know about Meda but it was a breeze to put them on Jinkers.

Just because she can't hear doesn't mean she can't smell him under the door. Maybe you could try separation with a door and do feeding on either side of the door, etc. to get them used to each other. You may want to keep them completely separated for another while before introducing them. I have heard good things about those calming collars but haven't had a need for one yet.

Good luck!

 

[cassiopeiae13]

I have baby gates up, so they can see one another. Their food dishes have been on opposite sides of the door for the last few months and I play interactive games and give them treats together.

Meda doesn't like having her nails even clipped, so I'm not so sure she'll allow me to do soft paws. I had to practically sit on her to clip her nails the few times I've done it. I hold her between my legs and lean over her, she doesn't much like it. It's just her left hand for some reason. I can do her right, and she just lays there, but her left she does not like

 

[howtoholdacat]

Cassie, I think I've helped you in the past with your cat's issues. I know that you've worked really hard on them. I hope this collar helps. Please let us know if you try it and what happens. Best of luck to you whatever you decide for Meda.

 

[addiebee]

Wow - I wish you the best .... deaf animals are usually more "reactive" than hearing ones.... more likely to run, bite, scratch... . etc... b/c of the loss of hearing. Here is what I hope for you.... that they begin to get along and that your resident kitty can become the "ears" for Meda.

 

[elayman]

Originally Posted by Cassiopeiae13

I have baby gates up, so they can see one another. Their food dishes have been on opposite sides of the door for the last few months and I play interactive games and give them treats together.

Meda doesn't like having her nails even clipped, so I'm not so sure she'll allow me to do soft paws. I had to practically sit on her to clip her nails the few times I've done it. I hold her between my legs and lean over her, she doesn't much like it. It's just her left hand for some reason. I can do her right, and she just lays there, but her left she does not like

I can totally attest that the pheromones will do the trick, as others have suggested. We introduced a stray cat who had been in my bedroom a few days to three resident kitties tonight and the attacks literally stopped in their tracks. I had mine all out initially distracted by toys (which worked) while stray explored the hallway, then separated again to give the collar time to take effect. There were one or two incidents of minor hissing and weird mewing sounds (hope he isn't seriously stoned

!) afterwords and besides a bunch of stareoffs that came to nothing, that was the extent of it. They had to be physically restrained from charging just this morning when the door was opened.

Skeptic to true believer in one night. ;-). And why not ? One collar on each cat ($15 a month) is way cheaper than vet visits, stitches, antibiotics and possible permanent damage or death!!!

There may be different sensitivities and tolerance levels with a deaf cat, but at least give it an honest try.

 

[ladyhitchhiker]

My resident cat Mandarin growled at his new sister for the first three months up to the point that he lost his voice.

After that, things have gotten gradually better. And now that it has just this week been a year, well I catch them playing a lot more. Give it time. Some cats don't magically bond right away like others.

And the feliway plugs helped a TON. I could notice a marked difference when I didn't use them for a while. I only needed to use them the first 4-5 months. After that it was all gravy, but since your cats are older (mine are 3 and 7) it may take a little longer but they will eventually learn to tolerate each other even if they don't love each other. They may be a bit jealous of certain things like your affections, but I really think it will be okay!

 

[cassiopeiae13]

I'm going out to get the collars tonight. I really don't care if they like one another *HEH* I know that sounds horrible, but if they stayed away from one another, that's prefectly fine by me. I just want Andromeda to stop charging and scratching Cailan's face. He has had at least 5 scratches, one that was pretty bad and I was going to take him to the vet but it healed up perfectly and you can't see it now. He stays on top of the refridgerator and watches, but when he comes down, if Andromeda is around she'll charge him.

I'm very thankful that he doesn't seem phased by it at all. Just stays away when he thinks she's out. When I get home from work, though, he's his usual cherry playful self. We played for about an hour last night with some string, it was fun.

He's a "mama's boy" for true. Loves being snuggled and laying in my lap, which he won't do because Andromeda is also rather possessive of her new human and tends to sleep on my foot when I'm sitting in a chair. He's come over and I've had them both sleeping on me from time to time, which worked well as long as Meda didn't wake up. *HEH*

I'll try to collar and give it a shot. Really, I'll try anything not to have to give her up. I'd LOVE to get the two of them playing together. You'd think two playful cats would like playing together... the brats! They both enjoy chasing invisible things, they could bond over it, and yet, Andromeda insists on "protecting" her human from the vicious tiny kitty that's half her size and has never hissed a day in his life til she came along (haha). I really think that's what it is, honestly, she's being protective of herself, and jealous of him getting pets from me. She does like to bring me "gifts" and I know in cat language that's a sign of affection, sooo... yeah

OKAY! Collar today. I shall report back in a few weeks.

Here's hoping!

 

[cassiopeiae13]

Originally Posted by howtoholdacat

Cassie, I think I've helped you in the past with your cat's issues. I know that you've worked really hard on them. I hope this collar helps. Please let us know if you try it and what happens. Best of luck to you whatever you decide for Meda.

Howtoholdacat: Thanks. I really am trying very very hard. I feel bad for both of them, to be put in this situation. I knew it would be a struggle, the foster woman I got Andromeda from told me that she liked to be an Alpha (though I think it's more than that) but she also said that Andromeda had been originally put in a room with another cat and they got on just fine. So I thought maybe it was just that she had 7 cats. I'd be freaked if I was Andromeda too.

But maybe that's not the case. I know deaf kitties take a bit more to get used to things, what with being deaf and all. Sometimes I wonder if she can hear higher pitched sounds though. There's been whistles on the TV that's she's responded too, but she doesn't respond to any lower pitched noises like a voice. Very strange.